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Where there’s a will there’s a way.

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In this scenario, I see my noodle landing in my margarita… and no one wants that.

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Distance.

It’s all relative.

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Canadians have the right idea with hockey sticks. You can measure distance as well as crack heads if someone gets too close.

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Wisconsin? I don’t know. I’d rather not be on the back end of that ruler…

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Bubble gyms?

If they were covered in black fabric so no one could see my quarantine twenty jiggling… maybe.

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Excellent.

And I bet their conversation is more interesting than your cousin Darryl’s anyway.

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Squirrels are people too.

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Pffft!

What’s next, motion sensor operated baptism?

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Now that makes sense!