morons | River's world…..

Trips to the grocery store are so much more interesting these days.

And by interesting, I mean annoying A.F.

Take for example… the ample directional signage.

Since I am a fully functioning literate adult, I read this and my brain processes the instruction quite quickly.

For those unlucky souls who don’t possess my lightning quick reasoning? There was also this helpful accompaniment.

Pretty straight forward, right?

Then why…. on every single aisle I traversed…. did I have to dodge customers coming straight at me? Many without the facial covering the store… and now this particular town…. requires.

Regardless whether you’re on board with the whole mask, social distancing, 6 feet apart regime…. it’s this grocery store’s policy and they’re doing it to try and keep you safe. You don’t have to shop there, but if you do? Please pay attention… and study those pesky one syllable directions.

I’d hate to inadvertently (on purpose) stick my foot out as you pass by.

Because I know you hate to be left hanging.

The old ~~old, my ass! nothing should die in 6 years except reality tv shows. Why are they still alive?~~ fridge.

The new ~~black stainless steel OMG don’t walk near it with anything sharp finish~~ fridge –

The old ~~no damn it, it wasn’t!~~ fridge –

The new ~~polish with the grain, who the hell knew stainless steel had a grain?~~ fridge.

Delivery was a logistical nightmare. It wouldn’t fit through our kitchen door, even though it was the exact same size as our old one. The kids who brought it (yes, they were younger than me… that makes them kids) couldn’t figure it out for the life of them and were dismantling it piece by piece in our front yard when (wise old me) suggested they bring it through the (larger) front door.

With age comes wisdom.

And wrinkles, and bunions, and hot flashes…

But I digress…

Once they wrangled it inside, the kids couldn’t get the water dispenser to work and were frantically searching manuals and calling for assistance when I suggested they turn the water line back on.