Tag Archives: groceries

Never let it be said….

 

We have boring neighbors.

Looking out the window last week I saw this:

 

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Thinking I was sober…

I found another window to be sure.

 

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Okay, still there.

 

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Yes, there really was a T Rex walking up our neighbor’s driveway.

Why?

Maybe he was on his way to the store….

 

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Maybe he was just out strolling with a friend.

 

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Although what the hell that neon green thing was supposed to be has yet to be determined.

 

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Never a dull moment as Casa River.

 

So very disappointing.

 

I love it when I go grocery shopping and find a product that seems to be tailor made for me.

Witness River’s cookie heaven:

 

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Cookies…

That taste like cocktails!

 

 

I was a little disappointed to find there was a bag inside the bag and how very few cookies there actually were….

 

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But I figured that just meant they were extra special.

I was wrong.

So very, very wrong.

 

 

In fact…¬† these cookies were not only horrible, but probably one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted in my life.¬† And I’ve endured my MIL’s pot roast, so that’s saying something.

I mean Hell… it’s a cookie. By nature they’re flippin’ delightful!

How do you screw that up?

As I was bundling them up to throw away, I flipped over the package and noticed this:

 

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Fruitcake.

This company shipped 12,000 pounds of the most atrocious baked good ever invented to brave, battle weary soldiers.

 

 

I know!

Hadn’t those poor men suffered enough?

Of course it does explain the low quality cookie standard and my severe revulsion to their product.

 

 

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Maybe that’s the explanation.

The cookies were actually leftover fruitcake from 1943.

 

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Maybe, just maybe….

 

It’s been said I buy too much food when I go grocery shopping.

And I agree, that might be true.

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So every once in a while I have to purge my kitchen cabinets and pantry of non used and so old they’re rusting  slightly out date products.

 

 

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It really is amazing how much stuff I can stuff in there.

Did I need 13 bags of nuts and dried fruit to add to my salads?

Apparently yes.

Yes, I did.

 

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I also needed 5 bottles of vinegar (which I despise) and numerous Asian condiments that never managed to make it into a stir fry.

All of the above had to be thrown out.

Were they past their prime?

 

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Perhaps a wee bit.

And as much as it killed me, I threw out a chocolate bar.

 

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Because yes, they really can go bad…. even though I didn’t think that was possible.

And speaking of chocolate, did you know there’s now a Game of Thrones Oreo?

 

 

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Oh, yes…. there is.

And if you like the Game of Thrones intro?

You’re going to love it in Oreos.

 

 

Have you ever done this?

 

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I know better, and yet…..

Stomach rumbling, I sashay up and down the aisles tossing¬† HoHo’s and Ring Dings in my shopping cart at will.

(If they called them Cellulite Starters and Butt Wideners I wouldn’t, so you see…. it’s really not my fault.)

I buy salad tossers I’ll never toss, fizzy fruited drinks I’ll never drink and worst of all…. more deli meat and cheese than a school cafeteria will use in a month.

Oh, the pressure of the deli counter!

You take a number, wait in line, peruse the 307 varieties of flavored sliced turkey breast and when it’s finally your turn? You can’t just order a 1/4 lb of roast beef and call it good…. can you?

(Well I can’t. Which is why you should all come to my house for lunch tomorrow. BYOB. Bring your own bread…. because I never seem to buy the correct corresponding amount.)

And the paper products!

Why can’t I ever remember if I need them? I always buy too many which results in episodes like this:

 

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Note to self –

Never leave the closet door ajar when you’ve purchased too much Charmin.

 

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To say he enjoyed it would be an understatement.

 

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The beast was positively orgasmic.

And none too eager to relinquish his prize as I cleaned up around him.

 

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Moral of the story?

Buying too much at the grocery store can not only be wasteful and expensive….

But bloody as well.