We have boring neighbors.
Looking out the window last week I saw this:
Thinking I was sober…
I found another window to be sure.
Okay, still there.
Yes, there really was a T Rex walking up our neighbor’s driveway.
Maybe he was on his way to the store….
Maybe he was just out strolling with a friend.
Although what the hell that neon green thing was supposed to be has yet to be determined.
Never a dull moment as Casa River.
I love it when I go grocery shopping and find a product that seems to be tailor made for me.
Witness River’s cookie heaven:
That taste like cocktails!
I was a little disappointed to find there was a bag inside the bag and how very few cookies there actually were….
But I figured that just meant they were extra special.
I was wrong.
So very, very wrong.
In fact… these cookies were not only horrible, but probably one of the worst things I’ve ever tasted in my life. And I’ve endured my MIL’s pot roast, so that’s saying something.
I mean Hell… it’s a cookie. By nature they’re flippin’ delightful!
How do you screw that up?
As I was bundling them up to throw away, I flipped over the package and noticed this:
This company shipped 12,000 pounds of the most atrocious baked good ever invented to brave, battle weary soldiers.
Hadn’t those poor men suffered enough?
Of course it does explain the low quality cookie standard and my severe revulsion to their product.
Maybe that’s the explanation.
The cookies were actually leftover fruitcake from 1943.
It’s been said I buy too much food when I go grocery shopping.
And I agree, that might be true.
So every once in a while I have to purge my kitchen cabinets and pantry of non used and
so old they’re rusting slightly out date products.
It really is amazing how much stuff I can stuff in there.
Did I need 13 bags of nuts and dried fruit to add to my salads?
Yes, I did.
I also needed 5 bottles of vinegar (which I despise) and numerous Asian condiments that never managed to make it into a stir fry.
All of the above had to be thrown out.
Were they past their prime?
Perhaps a wee bit.
And as much as it killed me, I threw out a chocolate bar.
Because yes, they really can go bad…. even though I didn’t think that was possible.
And speaking of chocolate, did you know there’s now a Game of Thrones Oreo?
Oh, yes…. there is.
And if you like the Game of Thrones intro?
You’re going to love it in Oreos.
I know better, and yet…..
Stomach rumbling, I sashay up and down the aisles tossing HoHo’s and Ring Dings in my shopping cart at will.
(If they called them Cellulite Starters and Butt Wideners I wouldn’t, so you see…. it’s really not my fault.)
I buy salad tossers I’ll never toss, fizzy fruited drinks I’ll never drink and worst of all…. more deli meat and cheese than a school cafeteria will use in a month.
Oh, the pressure of the deli counter!
You take a number, wait in line, peruse the 307 varieties of flavored sliced turkey breast and when it’s finally your turn? You can’t just order a 1/4 lb of roast beef and call it good…. can you?
(Well I can’t. Which is why you should all come to my house for lunch tomorrow. BYOB. Bring your own bread…. because I never seem to buy the correct corresponding amount.)
And the paper products!
Why can’t I ever remember if I need them? I always buy too many which results in episodes like this:
Note to self –
Never leave the closet door ajar when you’ve purchased too much Charmin.
To say he enjoyed it would be an understatement.
The beast was positively orgasmic.
And none too eager to relinquish his prize as I cleaned up around him.
Moral of the story?
Buying too much at the grocery store can not only be wasteful and expensive….
But bloody as well.