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It never fails to amaze me how many ridiculous products I can find in the grocery store.

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Multi colored popcorn farts? No thank you. Wait… they’re covered in white chocolate?

On second thought. How bad can a rainbow unicorn toot be?

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This abominable bag of quinoa was on the check out aisle with all the other reasonable unhealthy snacks. Don’t they know how good that radioactive orange Cheetoh dust is? Geesh, no one in their right mind craves quinoa.

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Tolerant organic. What exactly does that mean? Is that little fellow going to bludgeon me with his noodle if I don’t compliment his Birkenstocks?

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I’m sorry, but when I walk down the baking aisle… filled with cakes and brownies and numerous other drool worthy desserts? Protein balls are not high on my list.

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Finally, I need two things explained.

1. What happened to the separation of church and grocery store?

And

2. If you’re going to quote scripture about baking bread, don’t use it to sell a box of cereal. That’s just false advertising.

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