Tag Archives: chocolate

Products no one needs.

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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Grocery store chuckles.

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It never fails to amaze me how many ridiculous products I can find in the grocery store.

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Multi colored popcorn farts? No thank you. Wait… they’re covered in white chocolate?

On second thought. How bad can a rainbow unicorn toot be?

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This abominable bag of quinoa was on the check out aisle with all the other reasonable unhealthy snacks. Don’t they know how good that radioactive orange Cheetoh dust is? Geesh, no one in their right mind craves quinoa.

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Tolerant organic. What exactly does that mean? Is that little fellow going to bludgeon me with his noodle if I don’t compliment his Birkenstocks?

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I’m sorry, but when I walk down the baking aisle… filled with cakes and brownies and numerous other drool worthy desserts? Protein balls are not high on my list.

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Finally, I need two things explained.

1. What happened to the separation of church and grocery store?

And

2. If you’re going to quote scripture about baking bread, don’t use it to sell a box of cereal. That’s just false advertising.

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Because they’re odd.

 

I love odd, in case you haven’t been paying attention.

And on my normal route to the grocery store?

I pass this:

 

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A bit personal as questions go, but delightfully odd.

And as my grocery store has been running low on sugar lately…

This:

 

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Golden?

I’m fervently hoping they’re not talking about showers…. but anything that’s less processed usually gets my vote.

And adding to the growing list of  FFS, the panic buyers are still at it  substitute products I have to buy now?

This:

 

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I must confess, I’m a trifle afraid of the Cousin Willie brand.

The more I stare, the more that ear of corn on the top right starts to look menacing… but I’ll be brave and soldier on.

At least it’s not as terrifying as this red pepper.

 

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I agree.

Chocolate is always the safer bet.

 

 

Strange products are back.

 

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Unless it’s in a rent by the hour hot sheet motel? I don’t think anyone needs their bed to vibrate.

 

 

Just…. no.

If I’m not willing to eat kale? ( and I think we’ve established I’d rather have my toenails ripped off by a hungry wombat ) I doubt I’ll be spreading it on my face any time soon.

 

 

 

Well this is ridiculous.

Leftover chocolate. What’s that?

 

 

 

Proof positive there are a limitless number of kitchen gadgets waiting to collect dust in your cabinet.

Move over avocado hugger and ice cream ball. Spaetzle maker is in da house.

 

 

I have no idea if this works or not, but may I just say?

Eww.

 

 

 

 

When I first saw this I thought… nope, I’ll pass on the motivational self help crap.

Until I realized it could be filled with G&T’s or margaritas.

1:00pm took on a whole new meaning then.

 

Things I like today…. part 8.

 

I like….

These!

Have you tried them yet?

 

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Well, what are you waiting for?

Go!

 

I like….

Taking a break on our deck after mowing the lawn a few weeks ago, and having a friend show up.

 

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I thought for sure he’d run when he saw me. But he took a good look, deemed me no immediate threat and happily settled in for a nap.

Until the husband opened the door and scared him off.

 

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I like….

Reading that a lobsterman in Falmouth caught a rare 1 in 100 million cotton candy blue lobster….

 

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Took a picture… and donated him to an aquarium where he never has to worry about being captured or eaten again.

 

I like…

Amazing sunrises in our backyard.

 

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I like….

Driving home along country roads this time of year and seeing the trees bursting with color.

 

Autumn in New England is hard to beat.

 

 

Life is good!

 

Things I like today…. chapter 3.

 

1.  Peonies!

 

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Great big colorful, heavily scented blooms.

 

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If you’ve never smelled one?

I’m sorry.

 

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They rival roses and lilacs for heavenly natural scent….

And I fill our house with them while I can.

 

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The husband’s little nephew used to call them Pee On Me’s.

 

 

But either way?

They’re glorious.

I like.

 

2.  The combination of wine and chocolate?

Always a winner.

 

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But actual wine flavored chocolate?

 

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Score!

Get yourself some immediately…. you won’t be sorry.

 

 

I like.

 

3.  A bean bag store that stacks their products like an ice cream cone?

 

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I like.

 

4.  Two for one jewelry.

 

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Buy a bracelet get a necklace…

 

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And they both look good.

 

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It’s true, I can.

Don’t hate me.

I like.

 

5.  A fox with attitude.

 

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This one stuck his tongue out at me.

Cheeky little bugger!

 

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I like.

 

Where’s the fish?

 

We love trying new restaurants and supporting small local businesses, so when Urban Element opened?

We were all in.

 

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Do you love me?

Am I supposed to love you?

I just walked in…

Stop trying so hard.

 

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The new trend in restaurant decor in Maine seems to be minimalist rustic. While I’m fine with barn boards and a lack of clutter….

 

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The chairs that are popping up everywhere seriously make me want to scream.

They’re metal, with small seats and side bars that painfully pin you in place. Definitely not for the amply hipped who walk amongst us.

If the plan is to get you in and out quickly?

These rustic torture devices do the trick.

 

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It was Sunday afternoon at 2:00. And a couple of Happy Time Fizz cocktails made me quite happy indeed….

But here’s another trend that continues to tick me off.

Brunch.

 

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I understand, it’s the weekend. You don’t get up early, and you want to eat breakfast late. Fine.

But it’s 2:00pm people! If you just recently rolled out of bed? You’re a teenage stoner sleeping one off and can’t afford these prices anyway.

To me, 2:00pm means lunch…even on Sunday. I had eaten breakfast 7 hours ago and didn’t feel the need to repeat the process.

The specials? All breakfast. The menu? 99% breakfast with one exception. The fried haddock sandwich.

Great.

Bring it…

 

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They brought it..

But damn.

 

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I’ve had thicker fish sandwiches at McDonalds and I wasn’t even sure that was fish.

 

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Mentally tallying up the reasons we weren’t apt to go back to this restaurant, I did what any normal  (still rather hungry from lack of fish)  girl would do.

 

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I drowned my sorrows in flourless chocolate torte.

 

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That’s my kind of math.

 

 

 

A little catch up…

Since it took me a month and a half to post vacation pics, it’s time to get you back up to speed on the dreadfully boring fascinating tidbits that are my life.

You may have heard the government had a shut down during our trip. Luckily this caused us no financial hardships, but it did mean the husband’s paychecks were delayed. And being the federal government, you know they had to make something simple ridiculously difficult.

The husband gets paid the same amount every 2 weeks. Same amount of pay, same amount of deductions. You would think they could just deposit the 2 missing paychecks.

But no.

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Whaaaat?

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It shouldn’t surprise you that as of today, his pay is still hosed up.

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Now to the weather…

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Yeah.

It’s been cold.

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And yeah.

You did.

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The back yard deer are hungry.

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And so are the turkeys.

We love the deer. The turkeys? Not so much.

They’re comical… but they poop. A lot.

Enough said.

Valentines Day came and went…

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The husband sent me roses.

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And I gave him a framed shot of the night sky from the exact location of our wedding day.

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I know.

We’re so special it hurts.

Of course the really wonderful thing about Valentines Day is the day after….

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When chocolate is half price!

That’s the definition of true love right there.