News you can’t use, the question edition.

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This week, my headlines were full of questions….. and I’m counting on you to provide some answers.

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I once ate a chocolate covered grasshopper. Unknowingly, because I was a child at my father’s office party and the buffet table that was laden with caviar, oysters and foie gras held absolutely no appeal. I saw chocolate. I ate chocolate. I was immediately sorry and spit the crunchy chocolate into a napkin. When I saw the chocolate had legs? I may have screamed. Needless to say that was the last Wall Street brokerage firm party I ever attended.

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This must be a trick question. It contends that people acquire whiskey and fail to drink it. This does not compute.

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I have to admit I’ve never thought about this….. but damn. I’m hoping my brain dies with me. The thought that I’ll be navigating the afterlife without one while my brain is still here contemplating the mysteries of life (The Yeti… missing link or just Nick Nolte after a particularly rough weekend? Justin Bieber…. they say he’s Canadian, but I’m thinking alien life form. Jimmy Hoffa… is he really dead, or just kicking back in Boca enjoying the early bird special at Golden Corral? ) is quite troubling.

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Tough call, right?

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19 thoughts on “News you can’t use, the question edition.”

  1. My brain is going in the fire with the rest of me. Our Roman Catholic friends say that cremation precludes you from the resurrection because you don’t have a “body”. I think it’s bullshit, but no matter. One life’s enough for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I was starving to death, and saw a cricket walking by, I might ask, his life or mine? One cricket would sustain my life for what, 20 seconds maybe? Nope, the cricket lives. My brain? A piece of meat. That would sustain me for at least a day or two. Much more worth eating. But how to crack the skull without hurting myself? That is the real question! Answer: Soak it in 100 year old scotch first, so I am feeling no pain…. Nick looks like he already did the soaking part. But he isn’t starving so, his brain and the cricket are both ssfe.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Crickets have been a staple in Asia for centuries and can be very tasty when fried with seasoning. Copious amounts of stale whisky before consuming them is de rigueur.
    I am guessing that with death and decay, the brain decays with it. If there is an afterlife, it would require a ka or soul or spirit to transfer. Opinions vary on that issue, and to many on both sides are happy to give you their opinion whether you want it or not.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Don’t know about Yankeeland but South Florida closed ALL their Golden Corals!!
    I had chocolate covered crickets at a cocktail party in either Atlanta or New Orleans (I don’t remember===I was drinking then!) and ate about a dozen of them—they were good!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Which is a damn shame. If they built one on the Biltmore estate it would still be a disgusting crap hole. And, by the way, south Florida is not the south. The south only goes into Florida as far as Daytona or so. The rest is New York with palm trees.

        Liked by 1 person

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