Tag Archives: headlines

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News you can’t use.

31 Comments

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You can’t, but someone must because there’s so much of it.

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Damn. I could have gone all day without knowing that.

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Worms.

You never know where they’ll turn up.

🤢

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Any of my male readers want to try and explain this? Because I simply don’t see the appeal.

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I’m a nature lover and believe in sharing our planet with all its creatures, but if this bastard is threatening my wine and beer?

Kill it.

Kill it on sight.

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See?

Beer is good.

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No mystery there.

He’s surrounded by politicians…

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

35 Comments

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Or maybe you can. What do I know?

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I’ve driven up there many times but never hiked it. Thanks for making me look like a slacker dog.

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In a word, yes.

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I have no words for that one.

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I’d love to buy this for a Game of Thrones addict friend of mine. Too funny.

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Nothing is ever really lost. It’s just always hiding in the last place you look. Check someone else’s bladder and get back to me.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

29 Comments

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And if you can? Then bully for you…

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What’s that old saying? You never know what you miss till it’s gone….

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WTH Canada? I thought you were our nice neighbors to the north.

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Just… wow. More vomit bags is not suitable compensation. Nope. Uh uh.

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Yes. It’s not because I’m lazy and don’t want to tackle that mountain of laundry. It’s genetic.

👍

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I have a lot of ideas on this topic. Too much screen time, junk television, the quality of our leadership, social media … but turns out it’s just collective intelligence. We don’t need to know everything, we can just ask someone else.

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

25 Comments

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I doubt anyone can really use it, but here goes.

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96 children?

Who does he think he is… Elon Musk?

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They say don’t knock it till you’ve tried it… but I’m going to pass on that particular experience.

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I blog more than anyone I know, but even I don’t need that.

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To hell with music, fame and the rest… I just want to know where she got the seeds for that fabulous garden.

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72%? Sure, that’s close enough for surgery. A 28% chance of losing something vitally important seems worth the risk.

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Turns out it does. Men are thrilled and claiming the heatwaves covering half the country have increased the size of their members. For these overly proud men… I have one word.

Thermoregulation.

Winter is going to be such a disappointment.

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I should know better than to click on penis stories.

I really should…

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

31 Comments

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But someone can, and that’s even more disturbing.

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If this is what passes for television these days I’m glad I rarely watch it… but my first thought when reading the headline was the fact that I used to have a gynecologist who always asked me how things were “down there” when I stepped in her office. She misdiagnosed me for 2 years which resulted in me having to undergo a full abdominal hysterectomy. I should have known. If you’re unable to say the words uterus and vagina? You shouldn’t be treating them.

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While colorful … I’m taking a hard pass here and doubt anyone will be upset if I don’t bring this to the next potluck.

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With the price of real estate these days? This is a steal.

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I’m not on Tik Tok and rarely pay attention to their ridiculous trends…. but are their women who are seriously contemplating douching with borax?

WTH?

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

23 Comments

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All the news that’s not fit to print… but you know I will anyway.

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Sorry, if I had to see it… so do you.

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Gee, no. I can’t imagine that happening. You mean a programmed robotic fiancé who agrees with everything you say and finds your belching the National anthem charming isn’t realistic?

Who knew.

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Can you imagine living next to that Pepto Bismol monstrosity? I’d vomit on principle alone.

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Here’s a simple way… don’t buy them.

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For a society that always screams about invasion of privacy we’re pretty willing to hand over all our information.

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Be careful what you say in front of Teddy.

🥴

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

12 Comments

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You know I’ll never run out of stupid headlines. The world can be a stupid place…

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I have to wonder about this. Wouldn’t 30 bottles of bull sperm have been sufficient?

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Kendall, give your nipples a rest. I’m tired of their antics.

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I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say swim.

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I think I’ve been listening to music incorrectly for a long time. Damn.

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Ear boners.

I have officially heard everything now.

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Just… wow.

🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

22 Comments

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And if you can, I’ll try not to judge.

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Woodchucks, a hoarding husband and a ditch from Hell? They’re welcome to it.

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Bowel nesting?

That’s a mental image I didn’t need.

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Is there a right and wrong way to sit on the toilet?

Turns out there is.

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Small angles. Got it.

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I don’t know about you, but I leave setting the “go” routine to my colon.

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I don’t blame them. Humans make me nervous as well.

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It wasn’t me, I swear.

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🤣

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Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

22 Comments

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And if you can use it? I’m a little afraid..

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Hope you’ve had breakfast already…

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Sorry Kendall.

For the good of the general public, my girls will continue to be well restrained.

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We once had a cat climb into our neighbor’s truck, but thankfully he only made it to the end of the cul de sac. Clearly Sox is a better traveler.

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I have problem feet and though I didn’t hear word from on high, bought a pair of Birkenstocks… which are both ugly and uncomfortable.

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Just in time for my husband to go back to work.

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The FAA is having a hard enough time regulating drone flight… grandmas flying to Wal Mart is a headache they really don’t need.

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