Tag Archives: news

News you can’t use.

.

It’s probably all useless these days, but mine is extra ridiculous.

.

.

Ever had a dog hump your leg?

Imagine if it was an eight foot, 275 pound ostrich. Not so cute anymore.

.

.

I’d buy that.

.

.

Note to self – do not update to iOS 18.

.

.

I’ve been touting hydrogen fuel for years.

I also announce “cow!” whenever we pass one on a road trip.

It’s a perfect combination.

.

.

Is it me… or does AI seem a little too interested in sex lately?

.

.

🤣

.

News you can’t use.

.

Still here.

Still useless.

.

.

Proof positive people will buy anything.

.

.

Yeah, it’s always the last place you look.

.

.

Because we all need another one of those.

🥴

.

.

Yikes.

For once I’m glad my plumbing is female.

.

.

Because we keep voting for them, that’s why.

But seriously, the creature can live without its head for 30 days. You have to admit, that’s impressive.

.

News you can’t use.

.

I live for useless.

.

.

Sadly I don’t pay extra for Apple News, so if you need to know why Fido’s poop is pointing north? You’re on your own. My algorithms already hate me, I don’t need more excrement suggestions.

.

.

Of course she did.

.

.

If one of them is a nice leather hobo with exterior pockets, watch out. I may be scouting you for future harvest.

.

.

I’m not sure I want to know what Lord Dudley Mountcatten is thinking. I have enough trouble sleeping already…

.

.

I have never felt the urge to loose my bowels upon bookstore entry..

.

.

The bathroom is the one and only place I don’t read… so I don’t actually get it.

.

News you can’t use.

.

Still here.

Still useless.

.

.

I’m sorry, but women using their brains more than men isn’t news.

.

.

You know what we found during our home renovations? Rotted wood, dust and a broken pencil.

Boo to that.

.

.

Oh holy hell. Now I have to worry about being attacked by a robotic labradoodle?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

.

.

Have I mentioned how glad I am that gifted Cosmopolitan subscription ran out?

.

.

Take a look around.

It’s not hard to figure out.

.

News you can’t use.

.

Useless:

of no use; not serving the purpose or any purpose; unavailing or futile

That describes my blog perfectly.

.

.

But he had much bigger teeth, that should count for something.

.

.

Clever is in the eye, or ear, nose and throat … of the beholder.

.

.

Hey…

If it’s good enough for Stormy Daniels.

.

.

Poo plumes?

.

.

6 feet away and six feet high?

Only if I eat at Taco Bell.

.

.

I saw one of these ridiculous vehicles at the grocery store the other day and it was just as silly in person as you would expect.

No fingers though, so maybe it was the no frills model.

.

News you can’t use.

.

Because I’m here to add more uselessness to your life.

.

.

We used to a family of crows in our backyard. They’d visit the bird feeders and eat seed that had fallen on the ground.

.

.

Whew.

Now I’m twice as glad I made friends.

.

.

Sheb Wooley was right!

.

.

I really don’t care. And even if it can, that seems like an awful waste of time and money.

.

.

Great. Something else to worry about…

.

News you can’t use.

.

Here’s to useless news. Providing me with so much blog fodder I could post one of these every single day and still have useless news leftover.

.

.

Oh good.

Something to look forward to.

🥴

.

.

A robot hurling paint balls.

That will keep those kids off your lawn.

.

.

Teargas pellets?

Yikes.

.

.

I don’t know… but I think my male readers should take one for the team, start drinking soy milk and report back when they have to buy a bra.

.

.

Gene Roddenberry would be thrilled.

.

.

I might have just gone with a hamster, but okay.

.

News you can’t use.

.

To be honest, I’d be disappointed if you could.

.

.

Trivial enough for you?

.

.

I hate when that happens.

.

.

I’m at the age when even pink walks won’t help.

.

.

I’m sure her child will be thrilled to read that article when he/she grows up.

.

.

I don’t care for cruises and there’s more than one reason why, but a boat full of naked passengers is at the top of the list.

.

News you can’t use

.

If it’s Monday, it’s time for useless news.

.

.

There’s a question I rarely ask myself.

.

.

Now I’m twice as glad I don’t eat tofu.

.

.

Poor beetle. When I wear my reading glasses I’ve been mistaken for a schoolteacher, … but poo? That’s got to hurt.

.

.

Finally, a church worth attending.

.

.

To heck with the Eucharist, ‘shrooms will help you meet Jesus quicker than stale crackers and boxed wine.

.

.

I’ve got an idea… stop pooping in it.

.

.

Sure. That’s an application totally worthy of crashing our electric grid.

.