Tag Archives: advertising

Of sarcasm and gutters.

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This store has my name written all over it.

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My husband would tell you we don’t need any more sarcasm here, but I beg to differ.

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And maybe that’s what was wrong with this month…. I didn’t make it my bitch.

Snow, rain, freeze, ice, melt, repeat.

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And by repeat…. I mean I keep repeating fix the damn gutter! to my husband so I don’t have to listen to this all day long.

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And in case you’re wondering what kind of weather we have in Maine?

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That sums it up nicely.

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Random Christmas things that made me laugh.

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Cats rule.

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Thank you kitty, I’ve always hated that elf.

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Ah, Facebook. Why your algorithms think I’m in constant need of this product is a mystery I fear I’ll never solve.

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On the bright side, packing for that trip won’t take as long this year.

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Yes Karen… He’s talking to you.

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Chicken Godzilla. Rampaging through a Christmas village near you…

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It’s 2020…. kiss your visions of sugarplums goodbye.

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Because some things are best left unexplored.

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Facebook ads. They’re never ending and annoying and I pay them very little mind.

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Yes, I like Hint water… but don’t need to see daily videos.

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And yes, those are some sweet shades I could easily see myself rocking next summer, but they don’t need to join the other 15 pairs I never wear in my junk drawer.

While I realize these ads are targeted to me specifically based on algorithms of my search history, every once in a while they surprise me.

As this one did the other day:

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Not being in possession of a pair, I assure you I have never actively searched for ball wash.

Trust me on this.

Of course since it popped up, I had to click. For research/ blog fodder purposes only you understand.

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Don’t be whack, GIVE A SACK.

There’s an ad slogan designed to burrow deep into your frontal cortex.

And while I admit I chortled over this, I’m not chortling now. Because you know what happens when you click on a Facebook ball wash product ad?

This:

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And this:

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I am now being inundated with less than helpful product placement.

Man meat.

What have I done!

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Pandemic humor.

 

Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.

 

 

Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….

Simple ads are always the best.

 

 

As was I.

So where is it?

 

 

I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.

 

 

Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.

 

 

Now why didn’t I think of that?

 

 

As good an explanation as any.

 

 

Because cleanliness is so important.

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

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The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

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Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

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Toaster bags.

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

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No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

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Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

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Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

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And while this may look a little odd?

 

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The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

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This is a bridge too far.

 

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No.

Just… no.

 

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I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m suddenly glad that I don’t drink coffee.

 

Because I saw this in the store a while back….

 

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And have to admit it was a little frightening.

 

 

For anyone interested in a life threatening coffee experience, you can find it here.

 

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Their advertising tag line is “It will wake the dead”…. so please be careful who you give it to.

The world has enough overly caffeinated zombies as is.

 

Grocery store oddities.

 

Proof positive you can find blog fodder everywhere.

Not being a Slim Jim or pork rind fan I passed on these…

 

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I mean, hey… I like spicy food.

But not hot enough to make my pig squeal.

Then there was this –

 

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A clever ad gimmick for Walking Dead fans, but I can turn into a zombie by drinking just about anything.

No apocalypse necessary.

 

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I did buy these lemons.

Although I was little disappointed they didn’t have seed spitting lips.

Next time I’ll look for the GMO versions.

They’re always more interesting.

 

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And finally, back to the liquor aisle.

While the name Screwball caught my attention….

 

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I could come up with no reasonable explanation for adding peanut butter to a perfectly good whisky.

That’s just wrong.

 

 

 

 

 

Because it’s my job.

 

Bringing weird and not so wonderful products to my reader’s attention.

It’s what I do.

 

 

And I know you wouldn’t want to miss an opportunity to have one of these for your very own, so…

 

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Yes.

It’s a onesie that’s also a seat.

How can you go wrong?

No more standing for endless hours at your kid’s soccer game. No more shuffling on sore feet while waiting on line at the DMV.

There’s a stupid product made just for you.

And a stupid video to accompany it.

 

 

 

Admit it…

You want one.