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I can honestly say I will never need a Russian pickle puff.

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But I suppose it’s good to know they exist all the same.

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Shark slippers? I’m sure they’re great for scaring the crap out of sand crabs, but no.

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Do I need to drink my cocktails out of a bird’s ass?

I most assuredly do not.

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And if I don’t need a bird ass cocktail delivery system? I certainly don’t need an egg laying one. Trust me, this will not relieve my stress.

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