Tag Archives: slippers

Things I’ll never need.

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I can honestly say I will never need a Russian pickle puff.

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But I suppose it’s good to know they exist all the same.

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Shark slippers? I’m sure they’re great for scaring the crap out of sand crabs, but no.

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Do I need to drink my cocktails out of a bird’s ass?

I most assuredly do not.

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And if I don’t need a bird ass cocktail delivery system? I certainly don’t need an egg laying one. Trust me, this will not relieve my stress.

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Products no one needs.

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A list of gifts to give your friends. If you don’t ever want them to speak to you again that is….

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Repeat after me, ” I will not buy River a dog’s ass pillow for her birthday or Christmas. Not now. Not ever. ”

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Seriously? Like I don’t have enough guilt reaching for those two extra slices of cheese as it is.

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Why.

Why in the world would anyone want to walk around in a baguette? I’ve been to France and had them fresh from the boulangerie. They are made to sop up sauce, be covered in jam or smothered in cheese… not your nasty foot funk.

That’s a hard no from me.

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