Tag Archives: chickens

Let’s Talk Chicken… chapter 2.

 

Admit it, you’d thought I’d forgotten about this series.

 

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Well, I didn’t.

And in case you missed chapter 1…

Let’s talk chicken…

Onward!

Chapter 2.

 

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Chicken etiquette.

(Be honest…

Where else can you find quality blog content like this?

No where, that’s where.)

 

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Chickens are the most common bird on earth.

And since they out number us by 43 billion?

You might want to pay attention.

The uprising could come any day now.

 

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Pecking order is important… and not always based on size. Scientists believe breed, intelligence and personality allow chickens to size up other members of the flock. Knowing your place is what it’s all about.

The usual hen house order goes like this:

 

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The rooster is king.

Let’s call him Jon…

 

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Next is the head hen…

 

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We shall call her Sansa.

 

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Then there’s the sentinel.

 

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Whose name is Arya.

 

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And finally, the weak bottom dweller…

 

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Who, of course… is named Theon.

 

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(Hey, it’s Game of Thrones final season…

It can’t all be about chickens.)

But here’s a tidbit of trivia you probably could have gone all day without knowing.

 

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Cold hearted bitches, chickens.

But who can blame her when a man with better hair comes along?

 

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

 

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Well, keep dreaming…

Today’s not the day.

It’s an age old question and I thought why not enlist a few famous people to help us with the answer.

So why did the chicken cross the road?

OPRAH says:  Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

Fair enough.

Let’s hope it’s a Mercedes, because they had the best car commercial… ever!

Watch it. I dare you not to smile…

 

 

SARAH PALIN says:  The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

 

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DR SEUSS says:  Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

 

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True, but a little morbid.

BILL CLINTON says:  I did not cross the road with that chicken.

 

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Okay, okay. We get it.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY says:  To die in the rain, alone.

 

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Well, damn.

That’s depressing.

DONALD TRUMP says:  We should build a wall so the chicken can’t cross the road.

 

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Nice hair.

AL GORE says:  I invented the chicken…. and the road.

 

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Yeah…

Thanks for that.

ALBERT EINSTEIN says:  Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

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And finally –

ARISTOTLE says: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

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So there you have it.

 

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And because I don’t want to break the trend of inserting a GOT reference into every single one of my posts till the final season is over….

 

 

A Game of Thrones chicken.

Epic!

Let’s talk chicken…

 

As promised.

 

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Yes, we’re really doing this.

 

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Chapter 1.

 

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Having had many one sided chicken conversations, I was looking forward to this.

 

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Chicken cheerleaders…

Who knew?

 

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Apparently Animal Planet, who features them in the annual Puppy Bowl.

Though they do need to work on their pom pom skills a bit.

 

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And here I thought the only variety of peeps worth noting came at Easter.

 

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Tidbitting?

 

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I love learning new words.

 

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While I’ve had various roosters chase me over the years, I never once thought to challenge them to a dance off.

 

 

But clearly,  they’ve got moves.

 

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So it’s official… my spirit animal is a chicken.

I love to sunbathe as well.

 

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*Note to self – do not Google sunbathing chicken or you will find one on the menu of a restaurant in Japan, complete with dipping sauce and white bread beach chair.*

 

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This is educational stuff!

So the next time you hear a chicken say Buh-dup?

I expect you to politely return the greeting…. with a silent prayer of thanks to me for the translation.

 

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Why yes.

Yes, I am.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I bought a book.

 

No, that isn’t news.

I’m an avid reader and am probably personally responsible for Jeff Bezos’s ranking on the Fortune 500.

 

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But this book was special.

 

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As you may know, I have a fondness for chickens.

It started years ago when our farming neighbor moved in across the street and asked us to baby chicken sit.

Matter of fact, here’s a picture of the husband trying to speak to those first chickens.

 

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As you can see, it didn’t go well. The chickens weren’t paying attention.

Were his conversational skills severely lacking…

Or did he just not speak their language?

The chickens might have been saying all kinds of fascinating things!

 

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Or not.

The point is we didn’t know.

And as the flocks grew larger…

 

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We made friends…

 

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But the language barrier was problematic.

My pathetic attempts at cooing were for naught.

 

 

Clearly the birds had something to say.

Possibly deep, philosophical things….

 

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But we couldn’t decipher it.

Until now.

 

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So join me on the journey.

 

 

And we’ll explore these topics.

 

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Admit it.

There have been times you’ve wanted to chat up a chicken too.

 

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It will be fun…

 

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Ravens, balls, and a giant chicken.

In other words, a post with random photographs that don’t merit their own blog.

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Have I mentioned that driving around Sedona, Arizona is beautiful?

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Well, it is.

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Majestic. Grand. And at times breathtaking …

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Yeah, it really does.

We drove, we explored… and never knew what was around the next bend.

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Sometimes it was giant chickens.

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Other times, rocks that wore hair nets.

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We saw houses built on every imaginable rock ledge..

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And ravens.

Ravens everywhere….

“Often honored among Native American medicine & holy men for its shape-shifting qualities, the Raven was called upon in ritual so that visions could be clarified.  Native holy men understood that what the physical eye sees, is not necessarily the truth, and he would call upon the Raven for clarity in these matters.

Foremost, the Raven is the Native American bearer of magic, and a harbinger of messages from the cosmos.  Messages that are beyond space and time are nestled in the midnight wings of the Raven and come to only those within the tribe who are worthy of the knowledge.”

I don’t know how magical they were… or what message they were bringing.

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But the owner of this truck left his garbage bags in the bed.

Bad idea.

Very bad…

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On the way to Flagstaff,  we crossed a bridge…

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And I saw a giant silver eagle perched on a store filled with Indian jewelry.

I pointed.

I yelped.

I might have squeeeed in delight.

And the husband read my subtle display as a signal to stop.

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The large silver deer was equally as impressive… and then we went inside.

Holy Mother of God…. it was divine! Case after case of stunning Native American silver and stone jewelry from every artist and tribe imaginable. I’d been wanting to bring a nice piece home with me and hit the jackpot here as far as selection. I happily roamed the aisles, eyes bugging out with glee and tried to decide which little lovely would be riding my wrist, finger or ears in the near future.

(No pictures allowed, sorry)

I finally narrowed it down to 3 pieces. Earrings, a ring and a necklace. I could feel the husband sweating from across the room… and I knew the wallet was going to take a hit, but come on. I’m worth it.

You know what? I’m not.

Not even close.

Earrings?  $2,100

Ring?  $3,200

Necklace?  (I think the husband may have fainted as this point)  $5,450

Yeah. For silver.

The prices were enough to make even me gulp.

And leave empty handed.

Now…

Can we talk about balls for a minute?

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I’m seeing balls in every resort we visit.

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Balls in every shape, size, texture and color.

Yes, balls.

I’m not saying this is a bad thing, just wondering why everyone has suddenly jumped on the balls bandwagon.

I don’t do this often…

 

Matter of fact, I do this never.

But some things have to be shared.

In my original WordPress wanderings, while I was actively searching for a tribe… (Btw,  that’s you bunch  sorry though you may be   of kindred souls.)  I stumbled on this –

Drinking With Chickens

A humorous blog featuring cocktails and chickens.

If there was ever a more perfect combination for me, I’m sure I don’t know what it is.

 

 

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The author is clever, snarky and surrounded by alcohol and chickens.

 

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What more could a girl want?

 

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Her photos are a hoot!

 

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Her home is lovely….

 

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And filled with chickens.

 

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They’re literally everywhere.

 

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Her cocktail recipes are fabulous and artfully presented.

 

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Hibiscus Pomegranate Margaritas?

Yes, please!

She wears chickens on her head.

 

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Without spilling a drop.

 

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She even holds boozy tea parties for faithful chicken loving readers.

 

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Her chickens are social…

 

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Well dressed…

 

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And erudite.

 

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She.  Has.  A.  Chicken.  Bar!

 

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The woman is living my perfect life!

(And hopefully won’t mind me stealing her pictures.)

So if you need a chuckle and some fantastic drink ideas… check it out.

Tell the chickens I said hello.