Christmas in July?

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Some years, if we’re not traveling… we spend Christmas Day with friends. They tend to have less emotional baggage than family, and are generally a lot more fun. Of course last year, Covid ruined everything about the holidays and we neither traveled nor made merry with friends. Boo to global pandemics! They’re such a buzz kill.

Our friends, being fun loving (as well as gift greedy) have decided to celebrate 2020’s lost holiday in July. (It will be a barbecue/pool party at our friend’s newly purchased house/horse farm/how the Hell is a 50 something single woman going to take care of this huge spread by herself.)

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We’ve been invited and encouraged to get into the Christmas in July spirit…. so naturally I will be wearing this:

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Because nothing says Ho! Ho! Ho! like Santa in a mankini.

I will also be bringing this:

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A Covid themed piñata, so we can all take our frustrations over the past year out on something other than our spouses.

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Yes. To all of that. And I won’t be filling it with candy, no. In honor of the shit show that was 2020 I will fill it with these:

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What are those you ask? Only the perfect gift to give your friends in case certain items become hard to find again.

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Portable toilet paper! Am I a genius or what?

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And to further get into the Christmas spirit? I’ve purchased this 2020 totally went down the drain themed tree.

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I did not however purchase the accompanying ornaments.

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Tree turd danglers?

No.

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Definitely, no.

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23 thoughts on “Christmas in July?”

  1. My wife’s name is Karen and so she disapproves of this post (she really hates the fact her name was appropriated for such nonsense). What’s even worse for me – my name is Kenneth – the long version of the shortened name Ken. ***although I don’t let it bother me ~ijs.
    In fact; it never even bothered me that my first wife’s name is Barbara, yeah- as in Barbie.

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    but that being said: Those portawipes are great – I’ve had several paks in my ‘survival’ gear for a number of years now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Portable toilet paper is something I never would have thought of but the more I think about it the smarter it seems, and filling a COVID-ñata with it is absolute genius. The perfect thing to avoid danglers at any time of year.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Those are great,But you really should have gotten the ornaments, I mean, you’ve gotta admit COVID is a S – – t Show! I must say, I am a bit nervous of what you got your friend as a gift, though.

    Liked by 1 person

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