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This year, we took that advice to heart.
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❤️
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Remember…
Tag Archives: tree
Christmas in July?
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Some years, if we’re not traveling… we spend Christmas Day with friends. They tend to have less emotional baggage than family, and are generally a lot more fun. Of course last year, Covid ruined everything about the holidays and we neither traveled nor made merry with friends. Boo to global pandemics! They’re such a buzz kill.
Our friends, being fun loving (as well as gift greedy) have decided to celebrate 2020’s lost holiday in July. (It will be a barbecue/pool party at our friend’s newly purchased house/horse farm/how the Hell is a 50 something single woman going to take care of this huge spread by herself.)
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We’ve been invited and encouraged to get into the Christmas in July spirit…. so naturally I will be wearing this:
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Because nothing says Ho! Ho! Ho! like Santa in a mankini.
I will also be bringing this:
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A Covid themed piñata, so we can all take our frustrations over the past year out on something other than our spouses.
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Yes. To all of that. And I won’t be filling it with candy, no. In honor of the shit show that was 2020 I will fill it with these:
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What are those you ask? Only the perfect gift to give your friends in case certain items become hard to find again.
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Portable toilet paper! Am I a genius or what?
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And to further get into the Christmas spirit? I’ve purchased this 2020 totally went down the drain themed tree.
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I did not however purchase the accompanying ornaments.
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Tree turd danglers?
No.
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Definitely, no.
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I love my town… part whatever.
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Haven’t done one of these in a while, so I thought it was time to check my small town’s FB page.
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The ultimate in tree repurposing. Goats!
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The old fashion trade and barter system is alive and well in my town. I have a neighbor who had his garage built with nothing but beer.
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Girl Scout cookies are the new crack. Those little bitches give you a free sample and you’re hooked.
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Sorry bud, someone left it in ours as well.
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That is perfectly evil. And I love it!
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Poor piner. Hope he was alright…
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Going, going… gone.
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Now that the man cave/ barn Mahal is starting to shape up? The husband wanted things out. My things that is.
Our old loveseat has been stored in there for years, and I was sad to see it go because it’s wicked comfortable and matched the walls quite well.
I voted for keeping it as you can never have too many comfy kick back with a beer or cocktail places to sit, but was instantly over ruled.
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The first person turned out to be the in-law of the man who stained our barn, so goodbye loveseat.
The next thing he made me get rid of was the driftwood tree. He’s been squawking about it’s removal for months now and no matter how much I tried to convince him it would be a unique addition to the barn decor?
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The minute I listed it? Three women were fighting over it. Guess I should have sold it instead.
So two of the things I wanted to keep were gone…. and guess what was added?
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A turkey foot that flips you off.
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This was a retaliation gift for the plaque I made the previous owner of the pool table after my husband beat him badly at the first game. They insisted the foot and plaque accompany the table…. so we’re now the proud owners of a petrified foot.
What do you want to bet we’re the only house on our block with one of those?
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A bar and a tree.
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Next week a contractor will be here to build a bar in our barn.
Yes, you read that correctly, a contractor… one we will pay. Actual money. That surprised me since the husband has does most of the Barn Mahal construction himself, but this guy also built the bar at our local pub… so instead of having a spouse made amateur facsimile, we’ll have a serious bar.
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With these giant extremely heavy boards the husband has kept from the original framing back in 2012.
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The boards that have been moved, shifted, relocated, bumped into and cursed for 8 long years…. so all I can say is, yay.
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Of course the other day we had to move them one last time.
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Because my other half wanted to get an idea what the future boozer would look like.
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And yes, that’s a driftwood Christmas tree on the right.
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My girlfriend made it, used it one year, then gave it to me for our porch. Unfortunately we experience a cross breeze from our neighbor’s field equivalent to the Ames research center wind tunnel NASA uses to test its rockets. That tree literally flew. Which is generally not what you want Christmas decorations to do.
So it’s been inside the barn for a few years and despite my pleading that it would be a nice addition to the bar room, husband wants it gone.
Tons of useless rusty crap? He’ll find the room. One unique and quirky decorative tree? Bye bye.
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Yes, this is a thing.
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I don’t know why, but it is definitely a thing.
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Yes, now you can definitively prove your nasty neighbor’s pit bull did indeed hump poor little Twinkle.
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23 and Me take note, there’s a new dog in town.
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Is this really necessary?
No. But I found some fascinating ancestors when I researched my family tree so who knows? Your pooch may be Rin Tin Tin’s great great great great grandson on his mother’s side.
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Bowzer’s family tree.
Frame worthy for sure.
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Colonial Williamsburg museums…. Folk Art tree, vintage weapons, furniture and an 18th Century catwalk.
There are two distinct collections in what used to be the lunatic asylum building… The Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Folk Art Museum and the DeWitt Wallace Decorative Arts Museum.
It’s a bit fluid when you enter…
And since it was the Christmas season I wasn’t surprised to see one of these.
Please note there’s a chicken instead of an angel on the top. I’m not sure what that means, other than there might be a secret cult of barnyard fowl practicing nearby. Which lead me to Google image search ‘religious chicken’ and then I was off….
Yes….
I’m easily distracted… but you have to admit,
This architect had a sense of humor.
And now back to your regularly scheduled program:
The story behind it was interesting.
Me like.
Though I doubt I’ll be making my own or buying the book.
And opposite the festive tree?
Implements of death….
Because nothing says holiday cheer like various ways to kill each another.
But even I have to admit they were beautiful specimens.
And if you look closely, you can see the scowling face on the bottom of the grip.
I read the DeWitt has the largest collection of southern furniture in the world…
And I believe it.
There were rows and rows of unique examples.
There were also some fabulous fashions of the day.
And yes…
Shoes!
And if that wasn’t wonderful enough… there was 300 year old fabric.
And a vintage runway.
Those little harlots.
Did you see how much ankle she was showing?
Shameless!
River's world..... 