Things I don’t need.


My Facebook and Apple News algorithms are always coming up with ridiculous products they think I need to purchase.

I’m passing on all three of these.



#1…. Swimsuit season is not approaching quickly in Maine, unless you count the Polar Bear plunge in February and I’ve never be crazy enough to do that.

#2…. My derrière is awake as it’s ever going to get. No caffeinated butt cream required. 




Just… no.

While I spoil Lord Dudley Mountcatten far more than my husband thinks I should, even I have limits.



Do I want to carry around a 28 ounce gelatinous pouch of my own urine? I most assuredly do not.

Also, I spent my teenage years on an island in Maine where there were no public restrooms. I’m completely familiar with pissing in the woods if necessary.


32 thoughts on “Things I don’t need.”

  1. * I am dubious that the butt slaps do much more than lighten your wallet.

    * Now if they will make a long tube to go over your nose so you can smell your dog’s butt and make it feel welcome …

    * I have actually used those, but they were in more discreet white bags with a blue stripe. Small airplanes have no bathrooms, and rest stops are planned hours in advance. When you are done, you keep it with you and drop it into the convenient trash can just outside every small airport entrance. Everyone knows what they are and you don’t need to worry about someone opening them up to see what’s inside.
    But the gel does absorb the urine very quickly, so spillage is not much of a problem, though poor aim is still a significant one.

    There. One more little factoid to add to your catalogue of useless and trivial information.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Write “SLAP IT” on your butt. What every woman wants, and needs. Yeah! Sure!

    My cats wash my facial hair faithfully everyday. I acknowledge their efforts by using my “wet” facial hair to wash their faces and ears. They love it. I kinda do too. My facial hair costs nothing to grow. I aint gonna pay for some brush bamed LICKI!

    We who live in the far north have long distances to travel between bathrooms. While the forest is right there if needed, that takes time and can lengthen an 8 hour trip to 10 hours some days with more than one person in a car. Our answer is not a Travel John, but an adult diaper named TEENA in Canada. No pointing necessary. When nature calls just let it happen. No leaks. No mess. No discomfort! Just change at the next rest stop and throw the used diaper into the garbage. No one even knows.
    Main rule: do not remove Teena while driving, snd certainly do not throw Teena out the window. They make a mess, and can poison wildlife! This also goes for Pampers and the like.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Travel John? Travel No. Licki Brush may be the most useless product I have seen on the Internet today…oh wait, never mind…the caffeinated Butt Mask won the day. (I read from the bottom up because I didn’t want to read about anyone’s bottom until the “end”)

    Liked by 1 person

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