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My Facebook and Apple News algorithms are always coming up with ridiculous products they think I need to purchase.
I’m passing on all three of these.
.
.
#1…. Swimsuit season is not approaching quickly in Maine, unless you count the Polar Bear plunge in February and I’ve never be crazy enough to do that.
#2…. My derrière is awake as it’s ever going to get. No caffeinated butt cream required. 
.
.
No.
Just… no.
While I spoil Lord Dudley Mountcatten far more than my husband thinks I should, even I have limits.
.
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Do I want to carry around a 28 ounce gelatinous pouch of my own urine? I most assuredly do not.
Also, I spent my teenage years on an island in Maine where there were no public restrooms. I’m completely familiar with pissing in the woods if necessary.
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River's world..... 
* I am dubious that the butt slaps do much more than lighten your wallet.
* Now if they will make a long tube to go over your nose so you can smell your dog’s butt and make it feel welcome …
* I have actually used those, but they were in more discreet white bags with a blue stripe. Small airplanes have no bathrooms, and rest stops are planned hours in advance. When you are done, you keep it with you and drop it into the convenient trash can just outside every small airport entrance. Everyone knows what they are and you don’t need to worry about someone opening them up to see what’s inside.
But the gel does absorb the urine very quickly, so spillage is not much of a problem, though poor aim is still a significant one.
There. One more little factoid to add to your catalogue of useless and trivial information.
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I do love useless trivia…
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Write “SLAP IT” on your butt. What every woman wants, and needs. Yeah! Sure!
My cats wash my facial hair faithfully everyday. I acknowledge their efforts by using my “wet” facial hair to wash their faces and ears. They love it. I kinda do too. My facial hair costs nothing to grow. I aint gonna pay for some brush bamed LICKI!
We who live in the far north have long distances to travel between bathrooms. While the forest is right there if needed, that takes time and can lengthen an 8 hour trip to 10 hours some days with more than one person in a car. Our answer is not a Travel John, but an adult diaper named TEENA in Canada. No pointing necessary. When nature calls just let it happen. No leaks. No mess. No discomfort! Just change at the next rest stop and throw the used diaper into the garbage. No one even knows.
Main rule: do not remove Teena while driving, snd certainly do not throw Teena out the window. They make a mess, and can poison wildlife! This also goes for Pampers and the like.
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Nope. I live in Maine, it wouldn’t be the first time I crunched through the snow and dropped trou in 10 below.
🤣
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In Maine I doubt you candrive 8 hours and still be in Naine. In Alberta it’s 17 hours from top to bottom, on a good day.
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Travel John? Travel No. Licki Brush may be the most useless product I have seen on the Internet today…oh wait, never mind…the caffeinated Butt Mask won the day. (I read from the bottom up because I didn’t want to read about anyone’s bottom until the “end”)
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Completely understandable.
🤣
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When I was active duty army and we were on maneuvers, we could not stop an entire military convoy for “bathroom relief”, so we usually had empty coke bottles. Peed on the fly, no drips or spills.
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Harder to do when you’re a woman…
😉
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When I said “no drips or spills”, who do you think I was bragging about?
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🤣
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I’m pretty sure Ody would head for the hills if I ever stuck an implement of torture on my face and started assaulting his fur with it…
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I doubt Lord Dudley would tolerate it either.
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Forget the butt mask…is that chic ever gonna be able to dig that string outta her crack? Where on earth do you find this stuff?
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Unfortunately, it finds me.
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Unfortunately? You get these great posts out of them!
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True… the blog fodder factor is high.
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Hard to rank these given they are all zeros but the cat lick thing is the lowest zero in the bunch.
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Aaaggghhhh…..my eyes can’t unsee this!!
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Each individual product is a disturbing on its own level. The cat tongue thing, though, yuk…how would you get all the hair out of your mouth after that?
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I don’t know. And don’t want to find out…
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😀 😀
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Dear diary – remember to forget to take the memory pills today.
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Can’t say I blame you.
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One of the biggest draws to camping is finding a tree to pee behind. Well, also s’mores, I guess.
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I don’t camp, but in my teenage years at beach parties on the Island, the girls had an appropriately named “piss path”.
🤣
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I guess in those instances, urine good company.
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Beggars can’t pee choosers….
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I anticipate a steady stream of puns issuing forth now.
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I bet you’re a wizz at them.
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Did you have a tinkle in your eye when you typed that?
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Nope to all!
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