News you can’t use.

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Because the world is a ridiculous place.

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This does not surprise me in the least.

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Men have been obsessed with their one eyed trouser snake since the dawn of time, and now we have proof.

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Why this particular fellow thought his penis would be an appropriate weapon against a charging leopard…. I’m sure I don’t know.

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I can just hear the hippo now… “needs salt”.

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And in case you’re in the mood to let the girls run free?

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Get thee to Cape Cod and jump on a ferry.

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Nantucket winters can be a bit brisk, so be careful you don’t take anyone’s eye out with a quick turn.

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Now there’s something you don’t see everyday.

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32 thoughts on “News you can’t use.”

  1. – Poor guy just wanted to rub one more out before his demise.

    – Seems to me that the baby was NOT rescued but got lucky when the hippo realized he wasn’t non-gluten.

    – Like Kenny said. Probably not going to be the tatas you want to see. Now Club Med in Martinique is a whole ‘nother story.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First off, any man who pulls out his snake with two tigers in proximity is actually participating in castration. Secondly, man may be “obsessed with his tool”, but women have the same affliction with their milk producers. I know this because Nantucket now lets them throw them around on the beach without containment.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Toronto passed a “Topless” law years ago, I cannot remember how many. For a while you could see semi-clad women in crowd shots, in summer. But along came Covid, and fully-clothed became the order of the day. I have heard nothing more since.
    I doubt the hippo was trying to swallow a child, hippos are vegetarians. My thought is the boy saw a gaping hole, and tried to climb back inside. Given today’s world, I understand fully.
    As for nude beaches, if you choose to go, you’re bound to see nude people, not just sex gods and goddesses. If you aren’t nude yourself, why are you even there?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. No problem. There is a nude beach in Vancouver, BC. To get there one has to walk down a very steep staircase cut right into the rock. It is not an easy place to get to. But you would be surprised how many non-nudists climb down there just to gawk, and bitch about those who are without clothes. In my day there was no such designation, but I think today they would probably be called MAGAts.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s Tuesday January 24th 2023 and this wedding started in November. I’m sure the guests are pretty tired of waiting on this flower girl to get to the alter, lol.
    What woman in their right mind would go topless in winter, in Massachusetts?!?!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Maybe the phallus thing is “stop or I’ll piss on you!”? Felines have their scent glands over their bodies that they rub on you – maybe this is the reverse? Would the cat ever be able to get rid of the piss smell? It’s got to lick it off… And what are the implications if you’re a human piss-scented cat among other non-human piss scented cats? Whatever, it’s interesting to ponder if he’s planning on pissing – not so much if he’s having a tug.

    Liked by 2 people

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