Random nonsense

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I get these attaboys from WP every once in a while…

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And it always amazes me I’ve managed to come up with that much drivel. Think how interesting this blog would be if I actually wrote about something worthwhile.

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We saw the boot in downtown Freeport the other day but my husband turned a corner before I could get a picture.. so here’s a stock photo. Yes, it really exists. A giant mobile boot that travels around the country promoting L.L. Beans. Talk about the perfect job.

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I’ll never take the time to make this, but I think you should and report back. It sounds lovely.

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My husband is after me to buy a new car. But Ethel, my beloved loaded 2014 Subaru Forester, is just getting warmed up with 77,777 miles.

😊

Next up, the reason I will never have dementia.

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I read a book every two days. So according to the author of this study my broken down body will retain a mind sharp enough to catalog the decline.

Yay.

I think….

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Admit it, you’d eat those.

😉

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Gardening woes.

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It’s bad enough I have to battle baby woodchucks stripping my flower gardens bare.

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They’re adorable, but it’s very hard to make them stop nibbling.

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I heard shredding Irish Spring around the plants helps, so I’m all in.

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My other problem this year?

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A mouse.

Who beheaded all my lovely marigolds and dragged the blooms under our shed.

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I didn’t even have a chance to photograph the pretty alternating yellow and orange combination before all I was left with was this…

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Because as soon as the mouse ripped off all the blooms?

The chucks ate 3/4’s of the leaves.

But I fixed them.

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I planted a row of taller crown daisies and no one likes those.

😉

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News you can’t use.

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Still here.

Still useless.

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I’m sorry, but women using their brains more than men isn’t news.

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You know what we found during our home renovations? Rotted wood, dust and a broken pencil.

Boo to that.

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Oh holy hell. Now I have to worry about being attacked by a robotic labradoodle?

Stop the world, I want to get off.

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Have I mentioned how glad I am that gifted Cosmopolitan subscription ran out?

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Take a look around.

It’s not hard to figure out.

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Progress?

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I haven’t written a front porch progress report lately because we had a good bit of rain and a few days of serious yard work that stalled construction temporarily.

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But the husband is back at it… deciding that old warped middle frame board he tried so hard to save needed to be replaced after all.

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New boards …

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New braces…

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He’s making his way down the line.

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And started playing with the new composite decking .

I’m calling it progress.

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Trash pandas

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Along with all our other wild visitors we have raccoons, but since they arrive at night I’m rarely able to photograph them.

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Until the other evening when a pair showed up before sunset.

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They really are characters.

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Such expressive faces…

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And those dexterous little paws!

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These little fatties shimmy right up the center pole, knock the suet cages to the ground then empty them at their leisure. Those paws can open anything.

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I was hoping they’d do it while I was filming but no such luck. Seeing their big butts hanging upside down eating the orioles grape jelly is a riot.

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😊

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Enough already.

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I don’t give my cell phone number to anyone but friends because I refuse to have it flooded with spam. We still have a landline, so I give that number to businesses who require it.

But when my husband ordered the new composite decking for the porch from Lowes and they wanted a phone number? He gave them mine… and for that I will never forgive him.

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He thought it was great my phone kept alerting with texts.

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I did not.

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Did I mention he gave them my iPhone email address too?

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Three messages saying it was great to see us pick up our order.

Three… so far.

I hit stop. And unsubscribe.

I fear drones will be dropping fliers and airplanes will be circling overhead with banner scrolls shortly.

🥴

Let’s play.

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Just in case you’re bored and have nothing better to do.

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We have a closet next to our hutch.

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And like the junk drawer in our kitchen, it’s my guilty secret. When I don’t know what to do something, or other proper storage areas are full?

I cram it in the closet of shame.

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There are tools and Tupperware.

Batteries and basting sauce.

Flashlights and flour.

Mayonnaise and markers.

A crockpot and crazy glue.

There’s no rhyme or reason…wood stain is next to beef broth and egg noodles rest on a tube of epoxy.

Once a year I organize and rearrange, but it doesn’t last long. Chaos wins every time.

And if the shelves are nuts, the tiny floor isn’t much better.

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It’s crammed with 50 lb bags of bird seed, fox food, deer grain and now duck pellets. Which, by the way… the ducks don’t like and won’t eat.

My name is River, and this is my closet of shame.

How about you?

What brings shame to your household….

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