I don’t know about you, but I’ve never had any trouble finding the toilet at 3:00am and certainly don’t need it to glow neon blue like some freaky interplanetary transport system.
Rotating fluorescent colors?
Hell… if I want a rave, I can think of better locations than my bathroom.
Cleaning isn’t a problem?
The scrubbing bubbles may disagree.
You can thank me later.
I was flipping through a magazine the other day and saw this little blurb of a review.
Needless to say, I was perplexed.
Exfoliating ass masks?
Excuse me while I crawl back under my rock where such things don’t exist.
Yes…. it’s a real thing.
And according to the description? Will get your behind ready for prime time.
Here’s a helpful product review.
So if you’re looking for a new beauty regime… or if your posterior just needs a little freshening up?
You know who to thank.
Women will try anything to keep their skin looking supple and smooth. The illusion of youth is a powerfully motivating force.
And while I admit to buying my fair share of high priced creams and lotions in a feeble attempt to push back the hand of time…. even I have a limit.
Here it is:
Because someone, somewhere, at sometime saw this…..
And thought, yup….
I got to get me some of that!
Have you ever been out shopping and stumble on a product that makes you go….
I did that the other day when I turned the corner and saw this:
And I admit… it made me look.
It made me sorry I looked.
Let’s break this down.
#1. King of the Throne? Please.
This is the only king who will ever be on our throne.
#2. Tear, unfold and wipe, DUDE.
There are only two people who can get away with saying those words.
#3. *ALSO SWEET FOR FACE, HANDS, PITS & DUDE REGIONS
Dude regions? I don’t want to explore that statement further.
#4. Ingredients include flower extract and citric acid.
Considering the purpose of the product… and the location of it’s use? I’m hoping there’s more of the flower and less of the acid.
I read an article the other day about one of the world’s most expensive teas.
Those lovely little leaves you drop into hot water and steep.
As long as it’s not the dishwater my MIL used to drink.
If you’re drinking tea? For God’s sake, drink tea.
I love tea, and am always intrigued to try a new one.
Except the one I read about the other day. It was called PET, short for Panda Ecological Tea. This particular tea sells for $200 a cup….. and if that’s not enough to frighten you away, the fact that’s it’s grown in China and is fertilized entirely with panda poo should be.
Apparently pandas poo 40 – 50 times a day, so I’m guessing supply isn’t an issue.
Grown high in the Ya’an mountainous region of Sichuan China, the panda manure tea—or Panda Ecological Tea (PET) by its formal name—is said to be smooth, and offer health benefits because of the way that pandas digest bamboo in the wild—which leaves around 70% of the nutrients in their dung, not their bodies.
Panda manure has also been shown to carry bacteria that break down organic waste more effectively than any other known source. One experiment showed that the bacteria broke 100 kilograms of waste down into 3 kilograms after only a 17 week period, with only carbon dioxide and water byproducts. Researchers think that there is a market for this organic compound capable of reducing waste by 96%, but whether or not organic tea at $200 per cup is the answer, is questionable.
Although you can’t fault the marketing campaign….
It’s simply delightful.
And while I was researching this topic?
I stumbled across another panda poo product…
A new type of luxury facial tissue made with recycled Panda feces is set to be launched in China.
The bizarre product, called “Panda poo,” will retail at for $6.54 a box, ten times the price of ordinary tissue paper.
Addressing concerns of skeptics who may find it unhygenic to wipe their faces with feces, Zhou said that there are many processes in place to ensure the product is ready for consumption. After washing and streaming, the paper will be sterilized in high temperatures.
Who knew it was so versatile?