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While it’s true my face may not be as firm and tight as it once was…

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I have no desire to cover it in Pepto Bismol rubber either. Sometimes the price of beauty is too high.

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Is it? Because that doesn’t look the least bit appetizing to me. I need my meat to bun ratio a lot lower than this.

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Would duct tape work just as well?

Asking for a friend.

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I saw this remarkably accurate John Wayne doll in an antique store the other day and was ready to lambaste the seller for spelling effigy incorrectly…. until I did some research and discovered Effanbee is a company that produces collectible dolls. It’s a good thing my husband didn’t see it. I don’t need that horror staring me down in the man cave bar.

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I see your dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging and raise you one toothless, cigar smoking set of gambling scallops.

My money’s on the straight flush mollusk.

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