Tag Archives: women

News you can’t use.

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Because the world is full of it. In more ways than one…

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The only appropriate response to this is…. why?

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I was unaware of this beyond ridiculous law, but sadly it’s true. And once again it makes me wonder, why does America hate its women?

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Finally, a workout routine I might be able to stick with.

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You can run, but you can’t hide. Sorry Georgia and South Carolina.

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I can’t confirm this particular news, but I really hope it’s true.

🤣

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Cosmo-hell.

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I received an email the other day telling me my gift subscription to Cosmopolitan would be ending soon and I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear it. Never has a present been less well received. And while I thanked my friend for the thought, I also made it abundantly clear another year of this trashy rag would not be welcome.

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Be honest men… did you even notice she was wearing a hat?

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Decades of legitimate research? If you say so…

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Even after a solid year of this crap, I’m still surprised this is what passes for a women’s magazine these days.

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Is this even possible?

On second thought, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.

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This entire publication lost me at hello. And in case you’re wondering, no… I don’t read the articles. I just flip through and photograph them for blog fodder. I didn’t meet Kristie and have no intention of ever doing so.

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A definite change in perception.

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The recent death of Betty White got me thinking about that popular old show The Golden Girls. To be honest I never watched it, but I caught glimpses now and then.

They were women of a certain age dealing with retirement, the loss of spouses and age related illnesses. They were witty and sarcastic yes, but let’s face it…. more than a little frumpy.

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The show I did watch religiously? Sex and the City. Four women in the prime of their lives romping their way through midtown Manhattan boudoirs with unrestrained glee.

Frumpy? Not hardly…

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And in case you’ve been living under a rock, SATC has returned to HBO under the new name “And Just Like That”. We catch up with 3 of the 4 women ten years later… and while they may be older? They’re still gleefully experimenting.

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To recap:

Golden Girls in their early 50’s.

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Sex and the City girls in their early 50’s.

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My, how times .. not to mention the perceptions of age… change.

And if you think that was bad? Here’s some more food for thought….

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Damn.

😳

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I hate false advertising.

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In a delightful break from the Ball Wash and testicle hammock ads, I’ve been seeing women’s fashion on my feed instead.

Not sure why since I never buy clothes I can’t try on first, but anything that replaces random male crotch shots is an improvement as far as I’m concerned.

I do however take issue with their product claims.

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For every body?

Trust me, this suit is not made for any woman over a size 4 and is why young girls grow up hating their bodies.

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Adore Me?

More like Obey Me or Else. Whip and handcuffs not included.

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It (unfortunately) never disappoints.

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Gather round boys and girls…. September’s Cosmo, aka the worst gift subscription ever, is here.

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On first glance I thought maybe, just maybe…. I could flip through it without being stunned this month.

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Yeah.

No such luck. And as I’ve said before, I’m no prude… but the in your face sexual content of this magazine never fails to surprise me.

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Greatest sex position. Wouldn’t that be a personal choice?

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Not according to Cosmopolitan.

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And… apologies, but I’m not going to discuss the Venus butterfly technique. Cosmo did, so if you’re curious, get your own friend to give you a year’s worth of this trash.

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Cosmopolitan Hell … part 2.

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Because this month’s issue was extra horrible and requires two posts.

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Sorry Cara, but I definitely don’t want to hear all about your sex toys.

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Golden penis syndrome. If nothing else? Receiving this gift subscription has made me aware how utterly out of touch I am.

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As if you men don’t think your wands have magic powers already. Geesh.

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Interesting demographic there. All in the south except one town in Massachusetts. Wonder why…?

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No, I didn’t tear that article out and I didn’t tuck it under my mattress. I did give brief thought to sending a copy to Monica Lewinsky… but alas, I think that ship has sailed.

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Madison Avenue run amok.

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Whatever happened to plop plop fizz fizz… or snap crackle and pop? These days it seems like it’s all ball wash or dead hoohaas.

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My Whoopee is right where it needs to be thank you very much.

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They did not just say that!

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Good grief, do they even prescribe that anymore?

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Here’s hoping your hoohaa is in good health and not in need of such products.

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One mad mother chucker.

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I’m not sure why…

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But momma woodchuck always looks pissed off.

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Is it because her children are always under foot?

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Or because the pesky human woman keeps spraying all the tasty munchies with coyote urine?

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Maybe it’s because her tatas are hanging so low they scrape the rock wall.

Tough call… but I’m going with gravity. That’s bound to make any woman cranky.

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Well done ladies.

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In the continuing series Why does River keep posting this nonsense? I bring you the final squares of the centennial quilt.

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No it hasn’t taken 100 years to complete, it’s just the time span being celebrated by our little town.

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Does your town have yurts?

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Mine does.

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Hats off to creative women.

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And their needles.

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And now, what you’ve all been waiting for… ( or waiting to be over. Either way, you win) .. the completed quilt!

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And may I just say, bravo.

This will hang proudly in our town hall so all can enjoy the fabric wrought history.

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Cosmo Hell

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Oh, you thought my awful gift subscription to Cosmopolitan had run out? No such luck. So sit back and see what the young women of today are reading about this month.

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Okay then… moving on.

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Apparently there’s a dating app for everyone. Not ready for Tinder or Grindr? Try Tabby.

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Meow!

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This particular article was quite detailed and had everything you ever needed or wanted to know about circumcised penises.

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As well as a lot you ( or maybe just I ) didn’t.

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When in doubt, say nothing. Apparently my mother’s advice holds true for every situation.

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What’s up Venezuela?

Wait.. on second thought. I don’t want to know.

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P.S. I refuse to put sixty nine or circumcision in my list of tags. No good can come from that. So to speak…

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