I received an email the other day telling me my gift subscription to Cosmopolitan would be ending soon and I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear it. Never has a present been less well received. And while I thanked my friend for the thought, I also made it abundantly clear another year of this trashy rag would not be welcome.
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Be honest men… did you even notice she was wearing a hat?
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Decades of legitimate research? If you say so…
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Even after a solid year of this crap, I’m still surprised this is what passes for a women’s magazine these days.
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Is this even possible?
On second thought, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.
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This entire publication lost me at hello. And in case you’re wondering, no… I don’t read the articles. I just flip through and photograph them for blog fodder. I didn’t meet Kristie and have no intention of ever doing so.
The recent death of Betty White got me thinking about that popular old show The Golden Girls. To be honest I never watched it, but I caught glimpses now and then.
They were women of a certain age dealing with retirement, the loss of spouses and age related illnesses. They were witty and sarcastic yes, but let’s face it…. more than a little frumpy.
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The show I did watch religiously? Sex and the City. Four women in the prime of their lives romping their way through midtown Manhattan boudoirs with unrestrained glee.
Frumpy? Not hardly…
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And in case you’ve been living under a rock, SATC has returned to HBO under the new name “And Just Like That”. We catch up with 3 of the 4 women ten years later… and while they may be older? They’re still gleefully experimenting.
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To recap:
Golden Girls in their early 50’s.
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Sex and the City girls in their early 50’s.
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My, how times .. not to mention the perceptions of age… change.
And if you think that was bad? Here’s some more food for thought….
In a delightful break from the Ball Wash and testicle hammock ads, I’ve been seeing women’s fashion on my feed instead.
Not sure why since I never buy clothes I can’t try on first, but anything that replaces random male crotch shots is an improvement as far as I’m concerned.
I do however take issue with their product claims.
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For every body?
Trust me, this suit is not made for any woman over a size 4 and is why young girls grow up hating their bodies.
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Adore Me?
More like Obey Me or Else. Whip and handcuffs not included.
Gather round boys and girls…. September’s Cosmo, aka the worst gift subscription ever, is here.
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On first glance I thought maybe, just maybe…. I could flip through it without being stunned this month.
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Yeah.
No such luck. And as I’ve said before, I’m no prude… but the in your face sexual content of this magazine never fails to surprise me.
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Greatest sex position. Wouldn’t that be a personal choice?
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Not according to Cosmopolitan.
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And… apologies, but I’m not going to discuss the Venus butterfly technique. Cosmo did, so if you’re curious, get your own friend to give you a year’s worth of this trash.
Because this month’s issue was extra horrible and requires two posts.
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Sorry Cara, but I definitely don’twant to hear all about your sex toys.
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Golden penis syndrome. If nothing else? Receiving this gift subscription has made me aware how utterly out of touch I am.
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As if you men don’t think your wands have magic powers already. Geesh.
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Interesting demographic there. All in the south except one town in Massachusetts. Wonder why…?
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No, I didn’t tear that article out and I didn’t tuck it under my mattress. I did give brief thought to sending a copy to Monica Lewinsky… but alas, I think that ship has sailed.
Oh, you thought my awful gift subscription to Cosmopolitan had run out? No such luck. So sit back and see what the young women of today are reading about this month.
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Okay then… moving on.
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Apparently there’s a dating app for everyone. Not ready for Tinder or Grindr? Try Tabby.
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Meow!
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This particular article was quite detailed and had everything you ever needed or wanted to know about circumcised penises.
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As well as a lot you ( or maybe just I ) didn’t.
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When in doubt, say nothing. Apparently my mother’s advice holds true for every situation.
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What’s up Venezuela?
Wait.. on second thought. I don’t want to know.
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P.S. I refuse to put sixty nine or circumcision in my list of tags. No good can come from that. So to speak…
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Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.