Tag Archives: women

Whatever happened to aging gracefully?

May 5, 2023 Rivergirl 49 Comments

I’m 59 years old and most definitely not as toned and tight as I once was. My hair is greying, my knee is shot… I have bunions FFS! But aging is a part of life and reflects who I am now, not the silly 20 year old I see in pictures and hardly recognize.

Much as I’d love to hook up a Hoover to my thighs and suction off a few doughnuts, I won’t. I also won’t be nipping and tucking anything on my face like these ladies… who in my opinion would’ve been better off with a few wrinkles.

Remember Melanie Griffith?

Working Girl? Milk Money?

Damn!

Remember perky little Meg Ryan? America’s sweetheart from When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail?

What’s with the lips? Why do they think bigger will make them look younger.

And then there’s Renee Zellwegger from Bridget Jones Diary.

She doesn’t even look like the same person and yet she swears she hasn’t had any work done. Her reason for the transformation? She’s happy.

Well so am, I but I still look like myself.

And finally there’s Madonna, to whom I can only say…

WTF?

This is truly frightening.

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News you can’t use.

July 29, 2022 Rivergirl 23 Comments

Because the world is full of it. In more ways than one…

The only appropriate response to this is…. why?

I was unaware of this beyond ridiculous law, but sadly it’s true. And once again it makes me wonder, why does America hate its women?

Finally, a workout routine I might be able to stick with.

You can run, but you can’t hide. Sorry Georgia and South Carolina.

I can’t confirm this particular news, but I really hope it’s true.

🤣

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Cosmo-hell.

June 9, 2022 Rivergirl 25 Comments

I received an email the other day telling me my gift subscription to Cosmopolitan would be ending soon and I can’t tell you how pleased I was to hear it. Never has a present been less well received. And while I thanked my friend for the thought, I also made it abundantly clear another year of this trashy rag would not be welcome.

Be honest men… did you even notice she was wearing a hat?

Decades of legitimate research? If you say so…

Even after a solid year of this crap, I’m still surprised this is what passes for a women’s magazine these days.

Is this even possible?

On second thought, don’t answer. I don’t want to know.

This entire publication lost me at hello. And in case you’re wondering, no… I don’t read the articles. I just flip through and photograph them for blog fodder. I didn’t meet Kristie and have no intention of ever doing so.

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A definite change in perception.

February 1, 2022 Rivergirl 36 Comments

The recent death of Betty White got me thinking about that popular old show The Golden Girls. To be honest I never watched it, but I caught glimpses now and then.

They were women of a certain age dealing with retirement, the loss of spouses and age related illnesses. They were witty and sarcastic yes, but let’s face it…. more than a little frumpy.

The show I did watch religiously? Sex and the City. Four women in the prime of their lives romping their way through midtown Manhattan boudoirs with unrestrained glee.

Frumpy? Not hardly…

And in case you’ve been living under a rock, SATC has returned to HBO under the new name “And Just Like That”. We catch up with 3 of the 4 women ten years later… and while they may be older? They’re still gleefully experimenting.

To recap:

Golden Girls in their early 50’s.

Sex and the City girls in their early 50’s.

My, how times .. not to mention the perceptions of age… change.

And if you think that was bad? Here’s some more food for thought….

Damn.

😳

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I hate false advertising.

January 16, 2022 Rivergirl 23 Comments

In a delightful break from the Ball Wash and testicle hammock ads, I’ve been seeing women’s fashion on my feed instead.

Not sure why since I never buy clothes I can’t try on first, but anything that replaces random male crotch shots is an improvement as far as I’m concerned.

I do however take issue with their product claims.

For every body?

Trust me, this suit is not made for any woman over a size 4 and is why young girls grow up hating their bodies.

Adore Me?

More like Obey Me or Else. Whip and handcuffs not included.

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It (unfortunately) never disappoints.

September 6, 2021 Rivergirl 21 Comments

Gather round boys and girls…. September’s Cosmo, aka the worst gift subscription ever, is here.

On first glance I thought maybe, just maybe…. I could flip through it without being stunned this month.

Yeah.

No such luck. And as I’ve said before, I’m no prude… but the in your face sexual content of this magazine never fails to surprise me.

Greatest sex position. Wouldn’t that be a personal choice?

Not according to Cosmopolitan.

And… apologies, but I’m not going to discuss the Venus butterfly technique. Cosmo did, so if you’re curious, get your own friend to give you a year’s worth of this trash.

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Cosmopolitan Hell … part 2.

August 6, 2021 Rivergirl 17 Comments

Because this month’s issue was extra horrible and requires two posts.

Sorry Cara, but I definitely don’t want to hear all about your sex toys.

Golden penis syndrome. If nothing else? Receiving this gift subscription has made me aware how utterly out of touch I am.

As if you men don’t think your wands have magic powers already. Geesh.

Interesting demographic there. All in the south except one town in Massachusetts. Wonder why…?

No, I didn’t tear that article out and I didn’t tuck it under my mattress. I did give brief thought to sending a copy to Monica Lewinsky… but alas, I think that ship has sailed.

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