Tag Archives: dolls

Oh no, Hell no.


This is the stuff of nightmares.



My distaste of creepy little dolls is well known, but the idea of life size companion robot dolls is apt to make me run screaming from the room.



I think it goes without saying I will not be running out to see this film anytime soon.

Or ever.


The full body scenes in the movie are played by a 12 year dancer, but all the others are of this bizarre, freakishly realistic horror of a doll.







Isn’t that what everyone looks for in a doll companion?



Things I don’t need today.


While it’s true my face may not be as firm and tight as it once was…



I have no desire to cover it in Pepto Bismol rubber either. Sometimes the price of beauty is too high.



Is it? Because that doesn’t look the least bit appetizing to me. I need my meat to bun ratio a lot lower than this.



Would duct tape work just as well?

Asking for a friend.



I saw this remarkably accurate John Wayne doll in an antique store the other day and was ready to lambaste the seller for spelling effigy incorrectly…. until I did some research and discovered Effanbee is a company that produces collectible dolls. It’s a good thing my husband didn’t see it. I don’t need that horror staring me down in the man cave bar.



I see your dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging and raise you one toothless, cigar smoking set of gambling scallops.

My money’s on the straight flush mollusk.


For the love of all that’s holy… no.


What the Hell Texas!



Loyal readers know I dislike dolls. Those dead eyed, soul stealing little human replicants have haunted my dreams for decades. So when I read about the abominations washing up on shore in Texas?



I cringed.



Figuratively and literally.



The thought of casually strolling down the beach and bumping my toe into that makes me want to scream.






Of those…. things.




Thank you John. You’re doing the world a great service.



Burn them.

Burn them all…..



Pandemic humor.


Because we all need to laugh more often.



I don’t know, but FFS…. someone send her back.



How exactly does one do that?



We’ll all be doing this come January.




That sounds about right.



Guess it’s been a rough year for everyone.



Oh, those Brits.

Ever helpful with the good advice.



Here’s hoping your holiday is happy, safe and free of tactical response teams.



I’m on a roll…


I forgot to mention this on the broken water line fiasco post, but my run of bad luck continues.

Yes, the fun just keeps on coming.

Torn meniscus in my right knee?



No water or shower for three days?



Rodents in open rebellion and probably surrounding the house as we speak?



So it shouldn’t come as any surprise that just after the well was covered back up it started to rain…



And our roof sprung a leak.

But wait, another sign someone has put an evil curse on yours truly?



Birds are literally falling out of the sky in front of me.

Dismembered birds.

Pieces of birds.


Right in front of me as I walked down the driveway to the mailbox this morning.





Enough already!!


Things that fall into the WTH? category.


When checking out at the grocery store last week I saw these….




Rap Snacks.

I’m sorry, but no one needs Cardi B. flavored potato chips.

The woman wore a coffee filter to the Grammys. Enough said.




Something else no one needs?





I believe I actually said WTF when I first saw it.




Now come on…. if you have that much facial hair to catch?




Skip shaving altogether and put your beard in a pony tail like all fashion forward men do.


I think by now you all know of my lifelong aversion to dolls.

They’re creepy…. and if you don’t want me to spend the night? Put a few of them in the spare bedroom and watch me run.

But this?




This is the stuff of nightmares.

And speaking of that?

I was cruising Atlas Obscura a while back for an interesting day trip and their recommendation gave even me pause.




Yes, you and your significant other can visit the picturesque vistas of Turkmenistan and tour the Gates of Hell.

And if you think I’m kidding?

I’m not.




Admittedly…. as tourist attractions go, it’s a little strange.

But I’d still rather go there than back to Busch Gardens.




Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Folk Art Museum.


This was what I’d come to see.




And with a nod to Abe, we entered.




By definition:

The DeWitt continued…. George Washington, creepy dolls, weavings, and more Name That (not) Crap.


Aside from all the decorative items, the Dewitt had some pieces of historic interest as well.




Here’s the father of our country casually leaning on a cannon. And if you look closely, you’ll see this…




Yes, they even have George Washington’s jewelry…. which had been lost for nearly two centuries. It was rediscovered in 1990, when the daughter-in-law of a Virginia Beach woman descended from Supreme Court Chief Justice John Marshall found it in her dead mother-in-law’s jewelry box.

Just think… it could have been put in a yard sale. Or donated to Goodwill.

Damn. Another missed opportunity.




Continuing past the silver, there were vast collections of porcelain and pottery.




Complete with creepy ass vintage dolls.




If you invite this little chicka to a tea party?

She’s going to nibble your fingers like biscuits.



By the amount of tankers on display, there was some serious beer drinking going on in the 18th century.




Have I mentioned this place went on forever?




It was fabulous.




There was a section dedicated to indigenous art as well.




And these were quite special.




Even the husband was intrigued.




Each piece had a story.




But I’ll just give you one example.




Two years?




Damn. That’s dedication.




George showed up again, though in iron this time.





“Dumb” stoves?

I’ve cursed a few in my lifetime, but never knew they were actually a thing.

After George,  I knew I’d lost the husband.




Because this is his idea of heaven.

They weren’t rusted, but these are just the sort thing he likes to fill our barn with.

( And if his were in good shape and displayed artfully like this? I wouldn’t half mind.)




And because you know I can’t pass up an opportunity, let’s play Name That (not) Crap again.




What is it …. #1?




What is it… #2?






Cape Cod Day 5…. P’town, sand and a museum.


Day 5 of our Cape Cod vacation found us driving to the Outer Cape. About as out as you can get and still be on the Cape actually…





Or P’town as it’s known to the locals.

I’ve heard it’s the place to be in the summer, but it was November and the wall to wall tourists were long gone. Sadly, so was most of the fun as many places were closed for the season. But we managed to have a good time all the same.

As you draw near, you realize it’s unlike other sections of the Cape.




John F. Kennedy designated a National Seashore here…




And there are miles upon miles of unspoiled beach.




As well as some pretty impressive sand dunes along the road.




But it was cool, foggy and threatening rain so we kept driving… keeping an eye out for this:




Thankfully it’s hard to miss on the skyline. Wanting to climb to the top for the fabulous views, I was unaware of the museum at it’s base.




Never one to pass up a museum, we began strolling.


IMG_9111 (1)


The first thing you notice? Pilgrims.




And Pilgrim history. Figuring it was because they landed up the coast at Plymouth… I had to admit I was shocked.




Whaaaat? You mean my grade school teachers got it wrong…

And I went all the way to Plymouth to photograph a rock for nothing! Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Pilgrims landed in P’town first. And believe me when I say they take that fact very seriously at the museum.




But it wasn’t all Pilgrims.




The building was filled with maritime history…




And a musk ox, like any good museum should be.




There were recreations of a Captain’s ship board quarters…




Which aside from the chamber pot, looked pretty comfy.




As well as his home on land.




There was an antique fire engine…




And a wreath made of human hair.




Because who doesn’t want one of those hanging on their living room wall?



There were maps of the Cape..




With questionable artwork.




Is it me, or is that Griffon in dire need of a Jane Russell 18 hour bra?




There was some Arctic expedition fashion…








Even a rooster hat…




And a couple of local celebs who clearly knew how to have a good time.




Yes, there was a Mayflower replica…




But it was the antique doll collection that made me want to run screaming from the room.




Holy Hell, those things are creepy.




I mean, come on…




You know this one will be feasting on your flesh long before you’re dead.




Find the monument before she gets hungry.





Epic thrift store finds.


I read an article the other day about the crazy things people find at thrift stores. This was right up my alley as I used to post my wackadoodle discoveries as well.

If you’ve never thrifted?

You’ve never really shopped.

I mean really…. where else can you find these treasures.

Searching for fine literature?




Find it at the Thrift store.

Not being a musher, I was totally unaware sexual preference was even a factor.

Go figure.


When you’re in need of a box of decapitated doll heads?




And let’s be honest…

Who isn’t these days?





They’re at the Thrift store.


When you’re searching for a little extra something to compliment the dogs playing poker velvet wall hanging in your living room?




You’ll find it at the Thrift store.

Shells playing poker are perfect.


Fido’s constant shedding driving you nuts?




Thrift store to the rescue.

Beat grandma to the punch this Christmas and give her the ugly sweater.


Can’t find that just right gift for the dominatrix in your life?




Look no more…. your local thrift store has S&M Teddy.

Her heart will melt, and then she’ll whip heart shaped cuts on your thighs.

It’s a win win.


And speaking of gifts…

Those hard to buy for people?

They’d love a vomit clock from the Thrift store.




Yes, that was the description the person who found it gave in the article.

Vomit clock.

I’m hoping  (really, really hoping)  that it’s just heavily shellacked pebbles in a putrid pink hue.

But hey, it came from a thrift store….

Anything’s possible.