It’s time for small town news again…. so city folk can see what they’re missing.
.
.
No worries. Said piggy was reunited with his family and is safely back home.
The want ads in small rural towns tend to look a bit different.
.
.
Spleeny- New England : peevish and irritable with hypochondriac inclinations.
.
.
I’m almost afraid to ask why someone wants to rehome a skeleton.
.
.
I’m going to pass this one on to my husband because he came home from breakfast with the boys the other day bitching that his omelette had gone up a dollar.
I know I’m paying more for groceries, it stands to reason restaurants are as well.
I lobbied hard for this cute little piggy joining the Casa River family ( for pure blog fodder alone, he’s golden ) but was met with a resounding no from the husband.
After my husband cut the wood and dragged off the small branches from his apple tree butchering….
.
.
We were left with a veritable apple graveyard.
.
.
I filled buckets and totes and gave a large box to our friend but there were still hundreds on the ground.
.
.
I love to bake and will occasionally dehydrate but I’m not a canner. Which means we had too many apples. I tried to gift them to our neighbors but they all have trees loaded with fruit this year as well.
Enter our town’s Facebook page.
.
.
I was immediately flooded with messages and let 3 women come over and harvest the bounty. They all filled big buckets but there was still more on the ground.
.
.
Perfect! The porcine owner showed up with her kids, buckets, totes, bags and a wagon. She totally cleared out the area and I thought how nice… their pet piggy will be happily munching on sweet treats. I asked her to send me a picture of the cutie and sadly realized that little piggy won’t be happy for long.
.
.
*gulp*
I thanked her, but declined the offer. Come on, if you name him? You shouldn’t eat him.
Somewhere …. pigs are flying. I know this because I went out to the big barn and saw something I never thought I’d see.
.
.
My husband sorting through and …. are you sitting down?… actually throwing things out!
It’s true. And I might have wept with joy. (After an orgasm. Or two. )
Not only did he throw things out….
.
.
He chopped some up and cut them into little pieces.
.
.
Okay he did it with a saw that was on the floor because the tables were covered in crap… but still!
The old rotten shelf with the 40 degree lean that was filled with useless stuff? Gone!
.
.
Whatever this was?
.
.
It and all it’s relatives… gone!
I couldn’t figure out why this was happening, but it’s like extended happy hour at your favorite bar…. you don’t ask why. You just drink till you pass out.
And then I noticed where all of these things were going.
.
.
In piles alongside the deck.
One minute there was a rusty folding camp bed and broken sewing machine table…. the next minute? They were gone.
I assumed the husband was loading up his truck for a dump run, but no.
It turns out the man who we hired to paint our barn wanted it.
All of it.
And was filling up the back of his truck.
.
.
Pardon the terrible through the screen photo but I was so happy to see the crap leave our property I had to.
So miracles do happen, and the best miracle of all?
We’d hired a fellow hoarder! And I realized the husband wasn’t throwing out his treasure…. he was gifting it.
But I hope he finds one. Pigless is a terrible thing to be.
This picture of our local sheriff’s truck was posted by a resident.
Because really, who needs blue lights when you have a chicken?
This post was met with the incredulity and the scathing derision it deserved . Reveal your fiddlehead location? To a stranger!!
Mainers have been killed for less.
Fiddleheads are a precious ($15-$20 per pound) and extremely fleeting commodity in the spring. Locals protect their secret gathering spots like they do their virgin daughters. Personally I can’t stand the slimy things…
But Mainers go berserk for them.
And speaking of barely edible food, some well meaning townie posted this:
Now really, if I’m not going to eat the delicate unfurled leaves of a fern?
You can damn sure bet I’m not baking helicopter seed pods that look like bugs.
River's world..... 