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Because you need your weekly fix of nonsense news.

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If your penis can lift barbells? I don’t want to know about it…

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Or not.

I’m going with not.

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I am a menopausal woman of a certain age, and while I don’t yet resemble Lord Dudley Mountcatten on the whisker front… I will admit to fighting one stubborn hair that has no business on my chin.

🥴

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I only have one question, but it’s the most important.

Does the cow enjoy it?

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I’m not at all conflicted.

They’re awful.

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Because it’s everywhere, it might as well be here.

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A bunch is too much for me.

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This headline flirts with crossing the line to useful news, but it’s still ridiculous…. so I’m including it.

And in case you’re wondering, it’s 5 minutes.

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This is funny.

But only if you don’t live close by and have to endure the cacophony at 4:00am.

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And just like that, I’m glad my gift subscription ran out again.

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Not good.

Not good at all.

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Ouch!

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It’s the best kind.

Trust me.

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That’s one way to guarantee a win.

And so very Russian.

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Serves you right for eating the yogurt that was clearly labeled with her name Dave…

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The reason they live longer than the rest of us?

Wombats.

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I have honestly never wanted to take a Hollywood bus tour…

Until now.

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Apparently it can.

Take a walk immediately after eating a big meal and let ‘er rip. Your digestive tract will thank you.

Though the person walking behind you might not.

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Because you need more useless crap in your life.

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I’ve been to some bad weddings, but they never started with the invitation.

Ouch!

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Hope the kids don’t find those on daddy’s nightstand and start nibbling.

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A little clarity here, she calls her padded bra gel inserts chicken cutlets. Which is disturbing in itself…

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Sure.

What could go wrong there?

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Because the other fish are making fun of how ugly it is?

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