Tag Archives: pruning

Uncategorized

Worst gift I ever gave him.

12 Comments

.

After the landing rebuild fiasco, I thought my husband was done for the day….. but then I heard the chain saw.

.

.

And went outside to find that he had cut off the fallen section of apple tree we just had an arborist look at.

.

.

I wanted to pay a professional to trim the trees properly and what I got was this…

.

.

I swear how that man hasn’t killed himself is one of life’s biggest mysteries.

.

.

I sputter at him to be more careful all the time, to no avail…. but I figure I might as well video his escapades in case the life insurance company needs documentation for my claim.

.

.

The afternoon was spent cleaning up the mess.

.

.

And our poor tree did not look happy.

.

.

But at least there’s a nice wheelbarrow full of applewood….

.

.

Uncategorized

I informed you thusly.

22 Comments

.

My husband doesn’t like it when I say I told you so. And oddly enough he doesn’t like it when I roll my eyes at him either. So from now on I shall be channeling Sheldon Cooper and saying “I informed you thusly.”

I uttered this phrase repeatedly yesterday when I walked out to the barn after a rain storm and saw this:

.

.

In case you aren’t aware, apple trees limbs are not supposed to be lying on the ground.

.

.

When we moved to this house 20 years ago, there were two gorgeous mature apple trees in the backyard.

.

.

I put furniture under them, kept trimming the lower branches and spent long lazy summer afternoons reading in the shade. Then, out of nowhere… the husband decided I was hurting the trees and refused to let me prune them. I fought against this ruling for a few years and then gave up. This was the result:

.

.

Every year the trees were so laden with fruit they hung to the ground. It drove me crazy but the husband wouldn’t let me near them with shears. I kept telling him he would regret it, but he wouldn’t listen.

So naturally, this happened:

.

.

A major branch, basically half the Granny Smith tree… cracked and split off.

.

.

I contacted a licensed arborist and he’ll be here in a few days to give us an estimate for structural pruning to save the trees from further destruction.

.

.

And after we’ve paid a small fortune to someone we didn’t really have to?

I shall inform him thusly one more time.

.

Uncategorized

From Hell it came….

29 Comments

.

Moving around the corner of the house with the husband’s new toy….

.

.

.

More shrubbery was tamed. (Yes, I’m aware we’re missing a few shutters. They’re in the garage, where they’ve been since they blew off the house 4 years ago. That’s how long I’ve been bugging the husband to put them back up. 😖 )

.

.

And in the other corner?

.

.

The flowering quince bush from Hell. I annually curse whoever planted this abomination of a plant.

.

.

Every year we wack it down.

.

.

And every year it grows back up to the roofline. If we let it go unchecked? I believe it would swallow the house in one gulp.

.

.

It’s pretty when it blooms, and yes….

.

.

It produces (inedible) quince fruit, but it’s an utter nightmare the rest of the year. Did I mention the beast is also full of thorns? Good times when you have to gather it up, stuff it in a garden cart and haul it down to the woods, over and over again.

.

.

The woods that are wayyyy down there. At times it seemed like the trimming would never end.

.

.

But we finally got it down to the last few branches.

.

.

Before….

.

.

And many sweaty hours after….

.

.

Is it pretty? No.

.

.

Heck, with the husband wielding the trimmer it isn’t even straight. But it’s smaller… and we can see out the windows again.

That’s a win when battling demonic shrubbery.

.

Uncategorized

You know your bush is too big when…..

20 Comments

 

Relax.

This is a G rated post.

I’m speaking of  a yew bush in front of our home office window.

It’s large, unruly and was in need of a pruning. Problem was, I couldn’t reach most of it from outside so……

 

IMG_E3605

 

I hung out the window and did a little hedge trimming from the inside.

 

IMG_3606

 

This results in an utter mess and small green needles everywhere.

But what’s a girl to do when her bush needs trimming?

 

IMG_E3607

 

There.

That’s better.

Uncategorized

We will prevail….

29 Comments

 

Time for our annual battle with the flowering quince.

My husband hates trimming this bush. Hates it with a passion.

 

IMG_4705

 

The monster is covered in thorns and not easily tamed. Cutting a path through uncharted Amazon rain forest while being chased by pygmies with poisonous darts might actually be preferable.

Every year we do it, and every year he grumbles.

This year he suggested using the chain saw.

But I had visions of this:

 

 

And managed to dissuade him.

I started with the electric hedge trimmer…

 

IMG_4876

 

And managed to cut smaller branches away from the house.

 

IMG_4882

 

Then the husband brought the ladder and the muscle.

Quince bushes are hard wood, and mature ones like ours fight back.

I was tempted to suggest something like this:

 

 

 

But managed to hold my tongue.

While he was angrily hacking away at that, I moved over to the also out of control Burning Bushes.

 

IMG_4873

 

These turn a vibrant red in the fall and are much easier to trim.

But I didn’t get very far because hidden in between them and the boxwood? I found a catbird’s nest.

 

 

oCIBLhs

 

No, not that kind.

 

IMG_4878

 

This kind.

 

IMG_4881

 

And I scared the poor mother right off it.

(Worry not, she’s back.)

 

IMG_4911

 

Avoiding the nest meant the bushes are still large, but at least you can see the windows now. The top half anyway.

As for the quince…

 

IMG_4884

 

My idea of a neatly shaped shrub differs greatly from the husband’s …

But he had a sharp implement in his hands and I figured I shouldn’t push the issue.

 

fat-ass-with-a-machete_o_1134483

 

Yes, dear.

It looks fine.