.
Because we could all do with a little more wine right about now.
.
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Testing.
It’s so important.
.
.
To be honest, I currently have 18 rolls of toilet paper in my closet.
My ancestors might have used the Sears catalog in the outhouse but I don’t want to. Especially since it’s online these days.
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A mask no one will refuse to wear!
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.
It’s all about safety.
,
.
I miss hopping from winery to winery for tastings, but this could work.
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After the landing rebuild fiasco, I thought my husband was done for the day….. but then I heard the chain saw.
.
.
And went outside to find that he had cut off the fallen section of apple tree we just had an arborist look at.
.
.
I wanted to pay a professional to trim the trees properly and what I got was this…
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I swear how that man hasn’t killed himself is one of life’s biggest mysteries.
.
.
I sputter at him to be more careful all the time, to no avail…. but I figure I might as well video his escapades in case the life insurance company needs documentation for my claim.
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The afternoon was spent cleaning up the mess.
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And our poor tree did not look happy.
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But at least there’s a nice wheelbarrow full of applewood….
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My husband surprised me the other day with new gutters.
Yes…. some women get diamonds, I get downspouts.
But these had been a long time coming and after nearly being bludgeoned by icicles from water running off the garage last winter?
It was time.
I had other things to do that day but husband asked me to help for 30 minutes because he said that’s all it would take.
Silly, silly man.
The first section went up easily.
Too easily as it turns out….
Which the hose test proved.
It leaked.
I was then directed to a different spot, which also leaked.
Vowing to fix it later, the husband moved on, installed 2 more sections and then needed an end cap.
Which I now believe are the work of the devil.
One of these should have fit on the end of that piece to block the water.
Please note my use of the word should.
Adjustments were made.
Then larger adjustments.
Some of them not at all subtle.
But it worked.
Of course we were still left with the leaking problem on the first section. And after much discussion, it was decided the shingles on the non leaking end…
Over hung the roof a fraction of an inch further…
Than the shingles on the leaking end. And there’s not much you can do about that.
My solution?
Caulk it!
But the husband hates caulk so we spent the next 3 hours, yes… 3 hours….. trying to find a solution.
Little pieces of white plastic were cut to sit on the top of the clips and divert the flow.
But it didn’t work.
Long pieces of clear plastic were sought.
And carefully cut into strips to tuck under the flashing.
But still, it leaked.
Numerous ladder safety warnings were ignored during this process.
And still, it leaked.
Late in the afternoon, after spending way too much time on a half hour project….
The husband surrendered.
It’s raining as I write this…. and guess what?
No leaks.
Because you have to keep laughing.
That’s my plan.
If you have a better one, please share.
I wouldn’t doubt it at this point. Society does seem to be breaking down.
In Maine, a local reporter was interviewing random people last week, asking how they felt about the safety precautions … masks, social distancing, closures etc. When he asked a man who wasn’t wearing a mask… even though it was requested by the store and mandated by the town… the man spit on him.
That’s where we are.
So yeah… Godzilla really doesn’t seem too far fetched.
Dad jokes.
They’ll never die.
I hope so.
I certainly hope so.
And I don’t want to start a partisan political fight.
But I’m getting tired of people snarkily saying, “You know that’s not going to protect you.” every time I go out in public with my cloth face mask firmly in place.
Yes, I know it’s not going to protect me.… but it’s going to protect you against airborne infected droplets in case I’m asymptomatic, which apparently many of us are.
I protect you, and I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you protect me… and by default my older husband who has 3 major underlying health conditions that would make catching Covid 19 a possible death sentence. I’m not an alarmist, or a panicker. I’m level headed and calm, but when it comes to my husband’s life? I’m not taking chances.
I get that the economy can’t be shut down indefinitely. I understand people are suffering, and if I could trust them to protect others? I would have no problem opening businesses. But a lot of the people I know who are out there protesting in large unprotected groups have jobs they can work from home and steady incomes.
They’re just upset they can’t go out and play.
Yeah…. let that sink in.
If the Irish can stop consuming their pints in public? I think Americans can deal with a little piece of cloth if it helps save lives.
And to those who say the crisis isn’t that serious because they don’t personally know anyone who’s ill? We’re relatively lucky in Maine, we have a low contraction and death rate, but even here…. in my small rural town? I know people. Our neighbor who lives behind us has it. Our neighbor to the left’s parents have it, one severe enough to require hospitalization.
It’s here.
It’s everywhere.
As this sad picture posted by a childhood friend who lives in NYC can attest.
There are no sympathy cards because there are too many deaths. If that isn’t the definition of serious, I don’t know what is.
Rant over.
You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.
Starting today there’s going to be a new lifeguard keeping an eye on Florida’s beaches.
Heck, I already look like death warmed over in a bikini….
I don’t need the reaper to remind me.
I ventured out of my lock down burrow yesterday and went grocery shopping for the first time in 21 days. It was quite a learning experience.
I learned Wal Mart has a bizarrely convoluted maze of barricades at the entrance so you can’t use the same door as those who are exiting. They have staff wiping down carts, cashiers wiping down check out lanes and six foot distancing markers on the floors. The one thing they didn’t have?
A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTH?
At my second stop, a grocery chain called Shaws…. I learned there are 2 staff members with clickers and clipboards counting customers at the entrance so no more than 75 people can be in the store at the same time. They have arrows for one way aisles, distancing markers at the checkout and a ban on bringing reusable bags from home. The one thing they didn’t have?
A single employee wearing a mask. To which I say…. WTF?
I got hollered at for putting my groceries on the check out conveyor belt too soon, by a cashier who wouldn’t wear a mask. Smarten up people! Half measures are no measures. We need to get on top of this thing…. my local pub misses me!
Other things I learned?
I don’t look good in a mask.
And there’s still no toilet paper.
Anywhere.
There was plenty of deodorant, but no toothpaste…. because apparently clean minty breath is more important than body odor during pandemics.
You want flour?
Sorry, no can do.
Oh, there are full shelves here and there.
But they’re filled with such things as Tumeric pasta and….
Yeah.
There was no shortage of those.
This item was fully stocked as well.
Clearly I’m not the only one who hates cilantro.
I also learned you can’t wear reading glasses while sporting an N95 mask. Nope. If you do…. those little suckers will fog up like the back of your teenage boyfriend’s Chevy van on prom night.
I came home with something I didn’t want or need simply because I couldn’t read the damn thing.
Yay me.
I also learned that if you’re menopausal and prone to hot flashes? You’re not going to enjoy going out in public for the foreseeable future.
The mask I wore is great, it filters out all the harmful particles… but breathing through it? Not so great.
I overheated to a temperature approaching the surface of the sun within 5 minutes…. then turned a bright feverish red and had to finish shopping quickly before I melted into a puddle in the dairy section.
Think I’m kidding?
Nope.
Not kidding.
I’m not sick, just splotchy. Honest!
Ya gotta love New York City.
My late father worked on Wall Street and I grew up marveling at it’s magic and savoring the myriad flavors of it’s streets.
Now? My heart breaks for it’s citizens. The virus is testing them, but they’ll pull through. They’re resilient.
They’re New Yorkers.
Yes, it’s the city the never sleeps. The Big Apple. The home of Broadway, the Empire State Building and Katz’s Deli…. but what you really have to love about them right now?
This:
Yes.
The New York City Health Department is recommending masturbation.
Among other things.
River's world..... 