Tag Archives: husbands

My only question is… why?

 

I never know what I’ll find in my husband’s barn.

The other day? I found this hanging on the wall….

 

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After I was through shuddering, I named it Creepy Baby.

Because, it’s a baby. And it’s creepy. I swear it’s eyes follow me around the room, and you know that never ends well.

I also saw this perched on the window sill.

 

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Yes….

 

 

It is what you think it is.

 

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The question is….

 

 

As a decorative item, it leaves a lot to be desired.

 

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And I can only hope the mechanism used to make it go boom isn’t in there as well.

But with my husband?

You never know.

 

 

 

 

So I got excited.

 

 

No, not that kind of excited.

Although now that I think about Chris… well, never mind.

I got excited because at 11:00am last Saturday the husband told me he was going to clean out the barn and set up a small yard sale.

My husband was going to get rid of his crap?

 

 

I was happy!

 

 

I was thrilled!

 

 

Hell, I admit it.

I was positively orgasmic.

 

 

I looked out the window and saw him sell something to a biker.

Yay!

 

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All the useless Harley knick knacks and paraphernalia…. gone!

All those extra Kawasaki parts and accessories…. gone!

And then I looked out the window again.

 

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And saw my late mother’s plant stand that I use on the porch…. gone.

My glass hummingbird feeders…. gone.

I was no longer excited.

 

 

And when I went outside to check exactly what it was he was selling?

 

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Yeah.

It was 100% mine.

Bags of clothes slated for Salvation Army donation, kitchen ware I was going to give his niece who’s moving into her first apartment, books that I trade with a friend.

He even had my hydrangea fertilizer on the table.

 

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But the worst part? The part that really had my jaw clenched….

He set this all up, and left.

Went to visit his brother and expected me to sit there and sell all the items I had no intention of selling in the first place.

 

 

The man has a death wish.

There’s really no other explanation that makes sense.

 

 

 

We will prevail….

 

Time for our annual battle with the flowering quince.

My husband hates trimming this bush. Hates it with a passion.

 

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The monster is covered in thorns and not easily tamed. Cutting a path through uncharted Amazon rain forest while being chased by pygmies with poisonous darts might actually be preferable.

Every year we do it, and every year he grumbles.

This year he suggested using the chain saw.

But I had visions of this:

 

 

And managed to dissuade him.

I started with the electric hedge trimmer…

 

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And managed to cut smaller branches away from the house.

 

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Then the husband brought the ladder and the muscle.

Quince bushes are hard wood, and mature ones like ours fight back.

I was tempted to suggest something like this:

 

 

 

But managed to hold my tongue.

While he was angrily hacking away at that, I moved over to the also out of control Burning Bushes.

 

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These turn a vibrant red in the fall and are much easier to trim.

But I didn’t get very far because hidden in between them and the boxwood? I found a catbird’s nest.

 

 

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No, not that kind.

 

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This kind.

 

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And I scared the poor mother right off it.

(Worry not, she’s back.)

 

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Avoiding the nest meant the bushes are still large, but at least you can see the windows now. The top half anyway.

As for the quince…

 

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My idea of a neatly shaped shrub differs greatly from the husband’s …

But he had a sharp implement in his hands and I figured I shouldn’t push the issue.

 

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Yes, dear.

It looks fine.

 

 

It was a Game of Thrones day miracle….

 

In case you didn’t notice, Sunday night ushered in episode 1 of the final season of the epic HBO series Game of Thrones.

I’m a huge fan girl and had been looking forward to it for a long time.

 

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I was wearing my shirt…

 

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Twitching in anticipation…

And expecting the usual  – I don’t like GOT even though I’ve never actually watched GOT –  look from my husband.

It goes something like this….

 

 

But this was the final season!

I was excited, I was nervous, I was sad….

 

 

But I was also speechless, because at 9:00 Sunday morning my husband…. the husband who for 8 years had refused to even entertain the idea of watching GOT… asked to watch GOT.

From the beginning.

 

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I was shocked.

And quickly hit the DVR before he changed his mind.

So we watched GOT.

For 15 hours!!

 

 

All of season 1 and most of season 2.

He loved it…. and was absolutely hooked.

 

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It took all the restraint I could muster not to wear a smug satisfied grin.

 

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And no, I didn’t even say that.

Although it damn near killed me not to.

Monday morning brought Patriots Day (a New England recognized holiday)  and my husband…. asking for more GOT.

 

 

10:00 in the morning till 11:30 at night.

Season 2 and most of 3.

Epic!

He’s never binge watched a series in his entire life, but at the rate he’s going he’ll be able to watch the final season with me in real time.

That’s the good news.

The bad news?

When I asked him halfway through season 1 who his favorite character was and he said Ned Stark.

Oops.