Tag Archives: swelling

Uncategorized

My body has developed a sense of humor, but I’m not laughing.

39 Comments

.

Me and my body used to be pals. It performed well, was always there when I needed it and rarely let me down. I’ve never had a cavity. Or a broken bone. Or a migraine. Or heartburn. I still have my wisdom teeth, my tonsils and my appendix. My body was a well oiled machine and had never been in the hospital until I had a full abdominal hysterectomy in 2015 which threw me into menopause before I was ready.

My body was not pleased.

And the bitch has been seeking revenge ever since.

Weight gain. Fatigue. Night sweats. Joint pain. Insomnia. Hot flashes. Brain fog.

Yes, it’s safe to say I don’t even recognize this creaking, flabby husk in which I now reside.

I have a bum knee that won’t heal. A recurring pinched nerve in my neck which flares up as I sleep. Yes, even going to bed is dangerous now.

I have bunions which painfully distort my toes. When I’m staying home? I get to wear sexy accessories like this:

.

.

Which because it’s black Velcro attracts Lord Dudley’s cat hair. Such a good look.

Not.

And every once in a while… just because it’s bored? My body does something weird that has me saying WTF!

As it did yesterday morning when I woke up looking like this:

*Warning- photos of me without hair and makeup to follow.

Proceed at your own risk.*

.

.

What the… what?

Half of my face was red, swollen and my eyes were puffy.

.

.

The lids were so enlarged it was hard to keep them open.

And I had absolutely no clue why. Nothing bit me. I didn’t brush against anything poisonous. It didn’t hurt or itch… it was just there when I woke up.

I iced it.

I took Benadryl.

And 10 hours later?

.

.

I was still red and puffy and looked like someone punched me.

Knock it off body.

You’re not the least bit funny.

.

Uncategorized

Leave it to me.

30 Comments

.

If there’s a one in a million chance of getting a weird side effect from the Covid vaccine? You know it’s going to be me.

.

This is my kind of luck.

.

So I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine Friday morning. By Friday afternoon, my arm was sore and I had a slight headache…. which was no big deal and to be expected. I went to bed at 10:00 and called it good. Until I woke up Saturday morning with body aches, sluggish fatigue, a bigger headache and an odd tenderness under my left arm. I was pretty useless all day, went to bed at 7:00pm but couldn’t sleep for the pain. By Sunday morning? I had a rock hard grapefruit in my armpit.

.

Darth Kermit is an asshole.

.

I admit I was a little freaked out and immediately hit the computer for some medical research. Yes, it is a possible side effect… though it’s rare and only hits 0.3% of the public. It usually lasts a week to ten days, but can be sore for up to a month.

.

.

Ironically, I had a routine doctors appointment scheduled for today and I just got back. They told me they hadn’t seen a patient present with it yet, but they did have a male nurse with a bad case. Of course he didn’t have to worry about wearing a tight bra, so my sympathy only went so far.

.

.

The doctor told me our lymph nodes are part of our body’s immune response system and they swell when they’re fighting infection. So the fact that mine are inflamed is actually a positive reaction to the vaccine.

.

.

Maybe so. But I’m here to tell you, it’s not a pleasant feeling.

.

Uncategorized

Real time at Casa River.

21 Comments

.

So this is my life.

.

.

I elevate, ice, read, and groan every time I have to move. Not how I envisioned spending my favorite time of year.

The foliage is peak, the temperatures are blissfully cool and I’m stranded on the couch like a beached Beluga.

There are very few good things to report when you’ve torn your meniscus and damaged your MCL, but one must take solace where one can.

.

.

My husband feeling guilty for his mobility and finally installing the new blinds in the office? The ones that have been sitting next to his desk for the last 3 months?

.

.

My husband breaking the special order extra wide curtain rod for my Waverly valance after I told him to be careful because they’re tricky to take down? Because he has no patience for anything the least bit domestic and never thinks I know what I’m talking about? Because he was cursing a blue streak as he tried to tape it back together?

Solace for a couch bound whale wife.

.

.

Please excuse the 2 six packs, 5 bottles of wine and the jug of premixed cherry limeade margaritas in the corner.

My liquor cabinet is full… and Jeff Bezos can only do so much.

.

Uncategorized

Real time update.

38 Comments

.

At 8:00 this morning I was standing tall at the orthopedist’s office.

Okay, standing is a relative term… it was more like listing 45 degrees and hopping around like a rabbit on a 3 day bender.

.

.

But you’d hop too if your right knee looked like this:

.

.

A little swollen… no?

The good news –

My xrays came back clean, no fractures, no bone spurs and no signs of arthritis.

The bad news –

The doctor thinks I tore my meniscus when I stained the deck. Fluid and swelling set in, which weakened the joint. Then the other day when I stepped off the porch I probably damaged my ACL and possibly my MCL. Not good.

There’s no way to tell for sure until I have an MRI which they couldn’t schedule until next Thursday.

So a weeks worth of ice, elevation, ibuprofen and gentle range of motion exercises.

And whining.

Don’t forget the whining.

.

.

Yes, there might be some of that kind as well.

.