Tag Archives: doctors

Commando … or no?

April 18, 2024 Rivergirl 36 Comments

Because only serious topics are discussed on this blog.

I’m going to do something I don’t normally do here and share something personal…. so file it under ‘more than you ever needed to know about River’ and then call it a day.

When I get ready for bed, everything comes off before the pajamas go on. No sleep panties, no nighttime bra. Hell I can’t wait to rip that sucker off after wearing it all day, I’m certainly not putting on another one.

This, as you may have guessed… was a ridiculous article.

I am so not ordering The Penis Book from Amazon.

Uh uh.

No way.

So there you have it.

Or don’t as the case may be.

😉

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News you can’t use.

July 3, 2023 Rivergirl 20 Comments

Because I doubt I’ll ever run out of ridiculous headlines.

I’ve never been so glad to not be a doctor.

Methinks Dr. Willis enjoyed his job a little too much.

I’m totally signing up for that bus tour!

For me?

It’s been roughly 59 years and counting…

Good grief Florida, what next? You and Texas are neck and neck for weird happenings this year.

Being quarantined and sprayed with chemicals isn’t my idea of a good time, but whatever. .

And if you’re wondering how toxic that chemical is?

If it’s illegal… why and how is the Florida government using it!

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The good old days.

February 14, 2023 Rivergirl 20 Comments

When I was flipping through my old baby book that was recently rescued from the ~~cave of crap~~ cellar, something interesting fell out.

It was from my pediatrician’s prescription pad and instead of filling the younger version of me with drugs and antibiotics as doctors do today, it recommended a few simple home remedies for colds and sore throats that mothers have been using since time began.

Those really were the good old days.

🙂

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Getting ready for his close up.

April 11, 2022 Rivergirl 33 Comments

Yes boys and girls, it’s that time again. Time to pucker up ( so to speak ) and smile for the camera.

The husband has a butt cam appointment in his immediate future and we just received the 12 page instruction booklet from the hospital. Remember back in the day you just picked up some awful powder from the pharmacist, mixed it with liquid and spent the entire day on the throne praying for death? Well, things have gotten a bit more complicated now.

The list of things you can’t eat a week before the prep is enormous, as is the amount of fluid they want you to push.

And because my husband has the annoying habit of always making appointments first thing in the morning, he will have to rise at 3:30am to drink the final 32 ounces of laxative.

Good times.

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Leave it to me.

April 26, 2021 Rivergirl 30 Comments

If there’s a one in a million chance of getting a weird side effect from the Covid vaccine? You know it’s going to be me.

So I got my second dose of the Pfizer vaccine Friday morning. By Friday afternoon, my arm was sore and I had a slight headache…. which was no big deal and to be expected. I went to bed at 10:00 and called it good. Until I woke up Saturday morning with body aches, sluggish fatigue, a bigger headache and an odd tenderness under my left arm. I was pretty useless all day, went to bed at 7:00pm but couldn’t sleep for the pain. By Sunday morning? I had a rock hard grapefruit in my armpit.

I admit I was a little freaked out and immediately hit the computer for some medical research. Yes, it is a possible side effect… though it’s rare and only hits 0.3% of the public. It usually lasts a week to ten days, but can be sore for up to a month.

Ironically, I had a routine doctors appointment scheduled for today and I just got back. They told me they hadn’t seen a patient present with it yet, but they did have a male nurse with a bad case. Of course he didn’t have to worry about wearing a tight bra, so my sympathy only went so far.

The doctor told me our lymph nodes are part of our body’s immune response system and they swell when they’re fighting infection. So the fact that mine are inflamed is actually a positive reaction to the vaccine.

Maybe so. But I’m here to tell you, it’s not a pleasant feeling.

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Real time update.

October 2, 2020 Rivergirl 38 Comments

At 8:00 this morning I was standing tall at the orthopedist’s office.

Okay, standing is a relative term… it was more like listing 45 degrees and hopping around like a rabbit on a 3 day bender.

But you’d hop too if your right knee looked like this:

A little swollen… no?

The good news –

My xrays came back clean, no fractures, no bone spurs and no signs of arthritis.

The bad news –

The doctor thinks I tore my meniscus when I stained the deck. Fluid and swelling set in, which weakened the joint. Then the other day when I stepped off the porch I probably damaged my ACL and possibly my MCL. Not good.

There’s no way to tell for sure until I have an MRI which they couldn’t schedule until next Thursday.

So a weeks worth of ice, elevation, ibuprofen and gentle range of motion exercises.

And whining.

Don’t forget the whining.

Yes, there might be some of that kind as well.

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I rarely post in real time….

October 1, 2020 Rivergirl 33 Comments

But I’m in pain and quite cranky, so here goes.

Remember a while back I stained our back deck on my hands and knees? I do it every few years but this time it caught up with me. Thank you (not so) old age, you suck the big root.

My knee had been stiff and sore for the last month but I’m tougher than I look and just went about my business.

Bad move. Very, very bad.

Yesterday I stepped off my kitchen porch and something snapped. Like a rubber band… and yes, I screamed. Did I mention we had a big storm the night before and had been without power for 10 hours by then?

Good times.

I hobbled back in the house and iced it down but holy hell it hurt. I couldn’t walk, couldn’t bend, couldn’t put any weight on it whatsoever. Spent a very uncomfortable and sleepless night, then woke up looking something like this:

I didn’t dare attempt a shower, so I limped to the doctors office this morning with my radical bed head and frightened a few staff members along the way.

Hey, ya gotta take your jollies where you can.

Turns out the doctor they assigned me wasn’t really a doctor just a nurse practitioner. And when he put me on the table to start pulling and tugging my leg in different directions? I was ready to cram his stethoscope where the sun don’t shine.

After the exam and manipulation I was almost in tears. Which is when he told me to go across town for xrays and an appointment with an orthopedist because oh, by the way… he had no earthly idea what was wrong with me. As I made my way back to the waiting room… with the speed of a 200 year tortoise… I discovered my husband had decided now would be a good time to request his flu shot.

Which we waited a good half hour for.

So.. by the time I got across town, had xrays and was ready for my orthopedist appt? We found out the orthopedist leaves at noon.

It was 12:05…. and I was not a happy camper.

Long story long, I have an appointment tomorrow morning at 8:00am and they think I either tore a ligament or ripped a tendon. Either way, it’s not good.

And oh yes, my devoted spouse who took the day off from work to care for me? He’s at our local pub having a late lunch. Me? I had to make my own.

Ain’t love grand?

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So… this happened.

May 23, 2020 Rivergirl 14 Comments

The husband mowing the grass over the septic tank?

Not blog worthy.

But the husband mowing the grass over the septic tank with one arm because he’s done some kind of damage to his left shoulder and the appendage is hanging uselessly?

Relatively blog worthy.

It took me a week of him alternating ice packs and heating pads. A week of him moaning, groaning and being perfectly miserable before I could get him to the doctors for an exam and an X-ray.

Thankfully nothing was broken or dislocated. They said it might be muscle trauma, might be a pinched nerve. In other words they have no idea.

A weeks worth of Prednisone has helped a bit, but just when we were making baby barn headway….

It seems we’ll be looking at this a while longer.

I’m seriously beginning to think that building is cursed.

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Yorktown re-creation… in which we explore outdoors.

February 29, 2020 Rivergirl 16 Comments

The second half of the American Revolutionary War Museum in Yorktown, Virginia is the interactive outdoor exhibit re-creation.

First up…. the soldier’s encampment.

It’s one thing to read about these things and see them in your mind’s eye….. quite another when you can physically touch and experience them first hand.

See those little tents? 4-6 men slept in there….. and let me tell you, it wouldn’t have been comfortable for one.

Meals, such as they were… were cooked here.

And the fire was kept burning 24/7.

There were few doctors as we think of them today, and the surgical tent more than likely contained a barber with a bag of torture implements like these. Please note the large bottle of laudanum in the back. I’d be chugging that like iced tea, thank you very much.

Though if you were bitten by a mad dog?

They had you covered.