Oh, we weren’t talking about ice? Well, I am now.
We had ice this year.
Lots and lots of ice.
The shovel the snow off the driveway, watch your feet slide out from under you and land smack on your ass kind of ice.
Everything was covered in sheets of ice for weeks on end.
Of course this made for some pretty fabulous icicles.
On the garage, they started out small.
But then they grew.
Which made getting in and out of the garage rather perilous.
Did I mention this was the section of the garage I was nagging the husband to put a new gutter on all last summer and fall?
Maybe now he knows why.
Even with the milder winters we’re having, we still see our fair share of snow, ice, and sleet. But temperatures are warming and we’re not seeing those epic dumps of the white stuff like we used to.
This used to be a normal February.
Tunneling was a way of life.
Now? We get a few inches and it melts.
Then it freezes.
I am so done with ice.
Yes, it’s pretty.
But when walking to the mailbox means you might slip, fall and crack a rib?
You can have it.
Give me a foot of snow over pretty shining crystals any day.
And with all that snow, melting and ice?
A leak in the roof.
And what looks like an expensive repair to the ceiling.
It’s the worst possible time of year for it.
So from now until spring, when we can get it fixed, I’m going to cringe every time it rains.
So a certain blogger (who shall remain nameless unless he/she actually wants to take credit for this post) sent me a link to a product that I found the day after Thanksgiving.
Having just enjoyed copious amounts of turkey, I admit it made me think twice about ever eating one again. It seems we never really know what those birds are up to pre gluttonous feast.
This post will pass along further information for what I think is probably the best Christmas stocking stuffer ever.
For your husband, your brother, your uncle, your cousin…. Hell, for every man in your life.
Give them to your mailman and the guy who changes your oil.
You can thank me later.
If you clicked the link, you’ll realize I wasn’t talking about those delightfully revolting pink Hostess treats that look like Tribbles.
It’s another thing entirely.
No, I’m not kidding…
And some of the descriptions are funnier than the product itself.
“Summer is a decidedly, uh, swampy time for many men and the summer of 2019 has been especially hot and humid throughout most of the northern hemisphere. Dress loose and in light fabrics all you want, eventually the heat hits you in the crotch.
It’s a uniquely male problem and one underwear company has the solution to that and more. Snowballs basically wants to ice your ‘nads back into the comfort—and fertility—zone.
Being able to walk around with your ‘nads air-conditioned without risking indecent exposure is pretty appealing. And Snowballs claims their product can do more than just frost the funk away from your nether regions.”
Yeah, no one wants that.
“From setting sprays to chafing balm, ladies have a few tricks up their sleeves when it comes to handling the heatwave.
But now men have found something to help them out on scorching hot days — freezable pants.
Over on Amazon, a brand called Snowballs Underwear is selling “scientifically-backed cooling underwear”.
The underwear comes with ice packs — dubbed “SnowWedges” — that men are able to put in the freezer before popping into a pouch that sits over the groin.”
And before you decide the whole thing is just a joke, here’s a video to prove icing your
balls, sack, nuts, jewels, sweetbreads, Christ…what term won’t get me kicked off WordPress? parts has actual medical benefits.
Now don’t you feel better knowing these exist?
You saw it here first.
The automatic ice maker in our refrigerator is on the fritz.
Just in time for the annual 4th of July heat wave.
I am not happy.
The ice cube tray I now have to use?
Entirely too happy….
I had to….