Tag Archives: blanket

I wish I could tell you they’re kidding.

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I never know whether to believe some of the ridiculous ads they have on Facebook. But sadly, this one is real.

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Yes, everyone farts, but that doesn’t mean you need to build a business around the fact.

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I can get it in the Cracked Rat color? Well, okay then.

🥴

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Farts not included? Ha. Good one.

Not.

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Good grief, do people actually think that’s funny?

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Fair questions, all.

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So I’m going to buy a fart blanket that doesn’t absorb farts? There’s a brilliant marketing strategy.

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Products no one needs.

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Correct me if I’m wrong…

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But that has got to be the worst product ever invented. If you want to see me in a homicidal rage? Watch me chase a screaming alarm clock down the hall with a baseball bat at 4:00am.

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Do I need to wrap myself in a life size tortilla?

No. I really don’t.

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A foot hammock.

Because those pillowed neck rolls people wear on airplanes aren’t ridiculous enough.

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Why in the world would I pay for an implement that gives me the hairdo I spend all morning trying to get rid of?

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Read my lips…

I neither have an inner mermaid, nor do I need to find one.

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This.

Because the government doesn’t eat enough of our money as it is.

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