.
Correct me if I’m wrong…
.
.
But that has got to be the worst product ever invented. If you want to see me in a homicidal rage? Watch me chase a screaming alarm clock down the hall with a baseball bat at 4:00am.
.
.
Do I need to wrap myself in a life size tortilla?
No. I really don’t.
.
.
A foot hammock.
Because those pillowed neck rolls people wear on airplanes aren’t ridiculous enough.
.
.
Why in the world would I pay for an implement that gives me the hairdo I spend all morning trying to get rid of?
.
.
Read my lips…
I neither have an inner mermaid, nor do I need to find one.
.
.
This.
Because the government doesn’t eat enough of our money as it is.
.
