Tag Archives: cooking

Random River drivel.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten sleeps in some odd positions.

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I look, and think he must be uncomfortable… but the wee beast sleeps like that 19 hours a day so I must be mistaken.

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Have you ever tried a recipe and had your hopes for decadent dessert deliciousness dashed?

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That’s what happened when I found a recipe for caramel banana upside down cake. I painstakingly followed the directions… and while it looked and smelled wonderful?

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It was a banana topped brick. I swear I could have used it as a doorstop… or to bash in someone’s head. The husband and I took one bite a piece and heaved it in the trash.

Tres disappointing.

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But I passed this woodpile later in the day…

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And had to smile.

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Be sure to ask for an extra stabby grabby the next time you go out to eat…. and think of me.

😉

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When the world hands you giant zucchini…

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It’s zucchini season and it seems like everyone we know is giving us zucchini.

Some very large zucchini.

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Which sent me searching for new recipes.

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Last night it was this one.

( If you’re not overflowing with gifted squash, feel free to skip the next section )

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And because I was already in the kitchen?

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Yummy lemon cookies that admittedly, look more like biscuits.

But trust me, they’re tasty.

And oh so easy to make.

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Random nonsense around the house…

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It’s a shame chokecherries are bitter and nearly impossible to eat…

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Because our tree is just loaded with them this year.

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But speaking of eating…. when your neighbors start dumping tons of veggies on your doorstep because no one ever grows a few zucchini? Try this:

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Slice, dip in beaten egg, then Italian breadcrumbs, lightly fry in olive oil and serve with lemon herb aioli. Fabulous!

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In other news, the turkeys are still here and my husband is still chasing them.

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I’m laughing because he was about to lose his pants running after them. (Don’t tell him I posted this, I’d never hear the end of it.) And while I normally think the daily chasing is ridiculous as well as fruitless…. you’re not going to out stubborn a wild turkey …. those little bastards have eaten every single one of our blueberries this year. On all 7 bushes! And that means no blueberry pie, no blueberry coffee cake, no pancakes or muffins. Damn their feathered souls!

😡

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I watched the White Sox beat the Yankees on the Field of Dreams the other night. (That’s Kevin Costner in the photo.) I’m an unapologetic sucker for that movie. Never been able to watch it without thinking of my father and crying like a baby.

If I’m ever in Iowa? I am damn sure going to Dyersville and walking through that corn.

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Damn him.

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Remember when I damned my SIL for bringing lobster to our get together last weekend? And then mentioned the pain of seeing leftover lobsters I can’t eat in the refrigerator?

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Turns out that was nothing compared to watching my husband pick them….

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( On the barn porch because Dudley was going absolutely insane )

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And then cook them in my absolutely favorite way.

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Lightly sautéed in butter.

Honestly? I was almost suicidal.

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Damn her!

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Last weekend we invited the husband’s 4 sisters who live in Maine to a barbecue/pool tournament/behold the majesty of the Barn Mahal man cave/ party. It was a good time… except for one dastardly deed. You see one of his sisters brought this:

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After I specifically said we were grilling filet mignon… she had the audacity to contribute to the feast.

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A dozen lobsters, fresh from the ocean that morning. Damn her rotten black soul!

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I had to watch those succulent creatures being disbanded…

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Dropped in the pot…. ( Only 2 inches of water please. We steam, not boil )

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Covered with a lid ( And a brick. They tend to buck when dying. Hell, wouldn’t you? )

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Oh, the horror!

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The horror of watching everyone tuck into the delightful crustaceans I can no longer eat.

It was Hell. Pure, unadulterated Hell.

😫😫😫

The only pleasure I took was not being able to find our crackers and picks. Substitutions had to be made.

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Good thing the tool box was close by.

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The husband was schooled at the pool table by two of his sisters, which I thought was fitting punishment for consuming and enjoying lobster in front of his now allergic wife.

But once the party was over, the mess cleaned up and everyone went home… what was almost worse than watching everyone eat them?

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Seeing the two leftover red beauties every time I opened the fridge the next day and knowing I couldn’t make a lobster roll.

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Hell, I tell you.

It was Hell.

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In the continuing series – River is a Pandemic Slacker….

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What have I done during the pandemic that can be considered constructive? Well… I’ve gained weight, tore the meniscus and damaged the MCL in my right knee, gained more weight, adopted a cat and drank my skyrocketing weight in alcohol. What haven’t I done?

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I haven’t written and published a cookbook with a lizard.

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But this woman did.

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And I think I’m going to have to buy it.

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