Tag Archives: cooking

It finally happened.

 

I swear I’ve cooked more meals in the last two months than I have in the previous six.

Virus quarantining means a lack of many things, but around here? A full plate isn’t one of them.

I never used to cook or eat breakfast. Now it’s blueberry banana pancakes and thick cut bacon.

I used to eat a light lunch. Now it’s cream of turkey and wild rice soup, a chicken Caesar wrap and a chocolate chip cannoli.

Four nights a week we used to have salad. Now it’s more likely to be a pot roast dinner with all the fixings.

 

 

We may not do much else, but damn it… we eat.

Which means I’m getting tired of cooking and craving some decent take out.

Our last two attempts were abysmal failures but we finally got lucky at a little local restaurant in the next town I never paid much attention to before.

 

 

Delectable, juicy, and dripping with sauce… these sweet and spicy Thai wings were pure ambrosia. I admit to sharing with the husband…. but only grudgingly.

 

 

There was also a stellar pizza called the Mainer. Garlic butter brushed crust with Italian sausage, bacon, onion, peppers, mushroom and olives.

I was thrilled.

I was ecstatic.

I may have drooled.

So yes, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say we’ll probably be repeating the process.

 

Strange products are back.

 

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Unless it’s in a rent by the hour hot sheet motel? I don’t think anyone needs their bed to vibrate.

 

 

Just…. no.

If I’m not willing to eat kale? ( and I think we’ve established I’d rather have my toenails ripped off by a hungry wombat ) I doubt I’ll be spreading it on my face any time soon.

 

 

 

Well this is ridiculous.

Leftover chocolate. What’s that?

 

 

 

Proof positive there are a limitless number of kitchen gadgets waiting to collect dust in your cabinet.

Move over avocado hugger and ice cream ball. Spaetzle maker is in da house.

 

 

I have no idea if this works or not, but may I just say?

Eww.

 

 

 

 

When I first saw this I thought… nope, I’ll pass on the motivational self help crap.

Until I realized it could be filled with G&T’s or margaritas.

1:00pm took on a whole new meaning then.

 

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

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The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

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Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

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Toaster bags.

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

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No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

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Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

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Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

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And while this may look a little odd?

 

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The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

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This is a bridge too far.

 

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No.

Just… no.

 

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I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love my town…. Part 7.

 

It’s time to take a look at my local Facebook page again.

And when I did, I realized how critter-centric it’s been lately.

 

 

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Goats were on the loose again.

 

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And apparently craving pumpkin pie.

 

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This was a bit disturbing.

It’s not often someone is actively seeking deer guts, even around here.

 

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Makes you wonder what this poor guy did.

“…for whatever purpose you would like.” probably doesn’t bode well for that bird.

 

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And speaking of Sunday dinner –

 

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As much as I’d like to come home to a nice meal, the thought of letting a stranger into my kitchen to cook seems a bit odd.

They might find that fuzzy, 11 month old spear of asparagus that got pushed to the back of the fridge… and that’s bound to be embarrassing.

And lastly, there was some news on the crime beat.

 

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Duck theft.

Because sometimes people can’t help themselves.

 

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Revolutionary Museum finale…. a farm, some fowl, and a few gag worthy recipes.

 

The end of our living history tour was a typical Yorktown, Virginia farm of 18th century.

 

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It re-creates the life of Edward Moss,  and you can read a little about it  here.

 

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The house was simple, but comfortable enough for the time…

 

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Or so Edward told us.

 

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There was a separate building for cooking… where they were currently following old recipes and baking pies.

 

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Apparently you used to be able to sample the food, but the health department put the kibosh on that and now you can only drool.

 

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And although the pie smelled great, I can’t say I’d be too eager to try any of these recipes.

 

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Calf’s head surprise…?

 

 

No.

 

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Transmogrified pigeon?

Yeah…  I’ll pass on that as well.

I did get a kick out of this spice jar stopper though.

 

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As promised….

 

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Some chickens.

 

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Because no matter where I go, I tend to find fowl.

 

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There was candle making.

 

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And slave quarters.

 

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Complete with….

 

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You guessed it.

Shoes.

 

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There was a tobacco drying shed, because back then tobacco equaled money.

 

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And if you’ve never had occasion to be in one?

 

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Trust me… it smells wonderful.

 

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A few more buildings…

 

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A lot more fencing…. and we were done.

 

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Well…

 

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After I said goodbye to the resident ducks.

 

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I do love me some waterfowl.

 

 

Do you need one of these?

 

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

 

 

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I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

 

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The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

 

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For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

 

 

Next… no tie shoelaces.

 

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Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

 

 

 

On first glance this looked promising….

 

 

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Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

 

 

 

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

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Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling  “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

 

 

As I said, infinite possibilities.