Tag Archives: cooking

Uncategorized

Do you need one of these?

50 Comments

 

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

 

 

IMG_5706

 

I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

 

IMG_5705

 

The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

 

IMG_5707

 

For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

 

 

Next… no tie shoelaces.

 

IMG_5713

 

Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

 

 

 

On first glance this looked promising….

 

 

IMG_5712

 

Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

 

 

 

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

IMG_5709

 

IMG_5710

IMG_5711

 

Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling  “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

 

 

As I said, infinite possibilities.

 

Uncategorized

You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

36 Comments

 

The new adult educational booklet for our area was delivered today and I’m  dumbfounded anyone would pay money for this crap  very excited for the next round of classes!

Last season we had :

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

 

And this season?

We’ll start with a class about tin cans.

 

 

Yes, Tom. It’s true.

In Maine you can take a class that teaches you how to turn a tin can into a stove.

 

BwnrFUZCEAEXkPu

 

 

You’re welcome.

You can stop reading other blogs now, it won’t get any stupider than this.

 

 

tin can

 

I mean, come on…

When was the last time you fit a stove in your backpack?

 

a0c7eba0327071577a10a3e914ba363c

 

Point taken. That kid might be able to…

But for the rest of us taking the class means that can of baked beans we had for dinner last night could be heating up our outdoor meals for months to come.

 

 

No, I wasn’t thinking of that particular heat source.

But then, I wasn’t thinking of this either when I searched Google….

 

bushes-baked-beans

 

Damn, that disturbing.

And it certainly makes their ad slogan a bit suspect….

 

 

beans

 

 

Maybe you should use a Campbell’s soup can instead.

It worked for Warhol.

 

 

andy-warhol-amp-039-s-campbell-amp-039-s-soup-cans_o_1887951

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

In case you didn’t know….

39 Comments

 

Don’t worry..

I do.

 

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

 

Did you know…. after the battle of Waterloo in 1815, dentures were made from the teeth of dead soldiers? They were given to wealthy people who experienced tooth decay due to consuming too much sugar.

I’m not sure how bad my teeth would have to be before I wore a dead man’s… but I’m guessing pretty bad.

 

h9323ACC8

 

Did you know….. mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas?

This explains why I’m swarmed every time I start my morning with a smoothie.

 

 

Did you know…. castoreum, the vanilla flavored food additive used in baked goods can be listed as “natural flavoring” because it comes from the anal glands of beavers?

Thankfully it’s hard to procure and prohibitively expensive, so I doubt we’ll be finding it in our Twinkies anytime soon.

I’m sure the beavers aren’t thrilled either…

 

q6l7ybv17koy

 

Did you know…. preparing an Egyptian mummy took upwards of 70 days, and dead noblewomen were allowed to ripen for few days prior to the procedure so the embalmers wouldn’t find them too attractive.

Makes you wonder just how desperate for a date those fellows were….

 

 

Did you know.… Kemosabe means “soggy shrub”  in the Navajo language?

Good ole Tonto, not quite the faithful sidekick you thought he was.

 

1gv838

 

Did you know….  woodpecker scalps, porpoise teeth and giraffe tails have all been used as currency at one time or another?

This is good news for me as I am currently awash in woodchuck poo and am hoping it will be the next monetary trend.

Momma gonna make it rain up in here!

 

 

 

 

Uncategorized

Sunday is coming….

51 Comments

 

And devoted Game of Thrones fans like me have been waiting years for this day.

Years!

 

game-of-thrones-waiting-meme

 

It’s the beginning of the end….. and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard a little something about it.

To be honest, I wasn’t on board with GOT at first. Fantasy is not my genre and I didn’t see the appeal. But then I stumbled on a copy of the first book at a doctor’s office and was hooked. I flew through them all… which is saying something. (Have you seen them? The Easter Island moai weigh less.)

And having read the books, I had to binge watch seasons 1-3.

Yes, I had to.

 

game-of-throne-memes-2

 

Holy crap!

Thrones never disappoints.

Did I mention there are dragons?

Well, there are.

And they rock.

 

h0B41F218

 

And cook… apparently.

I won’t drone on about about the fantastic global locations, the intricate plot lines or the multi dimensional characters. I won’t wax poetic about the wow factor or the oh no they didn’t!  jaw dropping twists and turns.

Suffice it to say there’s never been a television show quite like Game of Thrones, and there probably never will be again.

So tomorrow? Don’t disturb me.

I’ll be wearing my shirt….

 

GUEST_093223f4-e3c8-4e44-a847-a9c0c2030952

 

And happily immersing myself in the realm.

 

uploads2Fcard2Fimage2F9648042Ff330f70b-f996-4102-88c3-4ebdb81e8367_jpg2F950x534__filters3Aquality289029

 

For the night is dark and full of terrors.

And if you don’t know what that means?

I may have to rethink our entire relationship….

 

a03198962d4b80a27551baeb19ca74c0

 

See?

You probably don’t get this joke either….

And that’s just sad.