Tag Archives: cooking

I love my town…. Part 7.

 

It’s time to take a look at my local Facebook page again.

And when I did, I realized how critter-centric it’s been lately.

 

 

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Goats were on the loose again.

 

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And apparently craving pumpkin pie.

 

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This was a bit disturbing.

It’s not often someone is actively seeking deer guts, even around here.

 

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Makes you wonder what this poor guy did.

“…for whatever purpose you would like.” probably doesn’t bode well for that bird.

 

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And speaking of Sunday dinner –

 

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As much as I’d like to come home to a nice meal, the thought of letting a stranger into my kitchen to cook seems a bit odd.

They might find that fuzzy, 11 month old spear of asparagus that got pushed to the back of the fridge… and that’s bound to be embarrassing.

And lastly, there was some news on the crime beat.

 

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Duck theft.

Because sometimes people can’t help themselves.

 

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Revolutionary Museum finale…. a farm, some fowl, and a few gag worthy recipes.

 

The end of our living history tour was a typical Yorktown, Virginia farm of 18th century.

 

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It re-creates the life of Edward Moss,  and you can read a little about it  here.

 

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The house was simple, but comfortable enough for the time…

 

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Or so Edward told us.

 

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There was a separate building for cooking… where they were currently following old recipes and baking pies.

 

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Apparently you used to be able to sample the food, but the health department put the kibosh on that and now you can only drool.

 

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And although the pie smelled great, I can’t say I’d be too eager to try any of these recipes.

 

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Calf’s head surprise…?

 

 

No.

 

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Transmogrified pigeon?

Yeah…  I’ll pass on that as well.

I did get a kick out of this spice jar stopper though.

 

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As promised….

 

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Some chickens.

 

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Because no matter where I go, I tend to find fowl.

 

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There was candle making.

 

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And slave quarters.

 

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Complete with….

 

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You guessed it.

Shoes.

 

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There was a tobacco drying shed, because back then tobacco equaled money.

 

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And if you’ve never had occasion to be in one?

 

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Trust me… it smells wonderful.

 

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A few more buildings…

 

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A lot more fencing…. and we were done.

 

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Well…

 

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After I said goodbye to the resident ducks.

 

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I do love me some waterfowl.

 

 

Do you need one of these?

 

Stupid products. They’re everywhere…

Even here.

 

 

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I heard you. You think gas filters aren’t stupid?

Well, this one is for your butt.

 

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The bad part of a fart?

Pray tell, what exactly is the good part…

 

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For those of you who were looking for the perfect stocking stuffer for Xmas this year?

 

 

Next… no tie shoelaces.

 

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Because yes, apparently we really are that lazy.

 

 

 

On first glance this looked promising….

 

 

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Until I remembered the best thing about making S’mores on a campfire is that you don’t have to clean up anything.

Can you imagine the mess that contraption would make in your oven? Melted chocolate and gooey marshmallow crystallizing and baking onto the racks?

 

 

 

Finally, I admit this last stupid product has infinite potential.

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Now call me crazy, but a gentle reminder to change the toilet paper is not the first thing that came to mind when I thought of recording a message.

No…

I want more bang for my buck and was thinking more along the lines of the Tidy Bowl Man yelling  “Incoming!”….. or an upper class British accent begging you not to make a second trip to the buffet at Taco Loco.

 

 

As I said, infinite possibilities.

 

You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

 

The new adult educational booklet for our area was delivered today and I’m  dumbfounded anyone would pay money for this crap  very excited for the next round of classes!

Last season we had :

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

 

And this season?

We’ll start with a class about tin cans.

 

 

Yes, Tom. It’s true.

In Maine you can take a class that teaches you how to turn a tin can into a stove.

 

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You’re welcome.

You can stop reading other blogs now, it won’t get any stupider than this.

 

 

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I mean, come on…

When was the last time you fit a stove in your backpack?

 

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Point taken. That kid might be able to…

But for the rest of us taking the class means that can of baked beans we had for dinner last night could be heating up our outdoor meals for months to come.

 

 

No, I wasn’t thinking of that particular heat source.

But then, I wasn’t thinking of this either when I searched Google….

 

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Damn, that disturbing.

And it certainly makes their ad slogan a bit suspect….

 

 

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Maybe you should use a Campbell’s soup can instead.

It worked for Warhol.

 

 

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In case you didn’t know….

 

Don’t worry..

I do.

 

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Did you know…. after the battle of Waterloo in 1815, dentures were made from the teeth of dead soldiers? They were given to wealthy people who experienced tooth decay due to consuming too much sugar.

I’m not sure how bad my teeth would have to be before I wore a dead man’s… but I’m guessing pretty bad.

 

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Did you know….. mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas?

This explains why I’m swarmed every time I start my morning with a smoothie.

 

 

Did you know…. castoreum, the vanilla flavored food additive used in baked goods can be listed as “natural flavoring” because it comes from the anal glands of beavers?

Thankfully it’s hard to procure and prohibitively expensive, so I doubt we’ll be finding it in our Twinkies anytime soon.

I’m sure the beavers aren’t thrilled either…

 

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Did you know…. preparing an Egyptian mummy took upwards of 70 days, and dead noblewomen were allowed to ripen for few days prior to the procedure so the embalmers wouldn’t find them too attractive.

Makes you wonder just how desperate for a date those fellows were….

 

 

Did you know.… Kemosabe means “soggy shrub”  in the Navajo language?

Good ole Tonto, not quite the faithful sidekick you thought he was.

 

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Did you know….  woodpecker scalps, porpoise teeth and giraffe tails have all been used as currency at one time or another?

This is good news for me as I am currently awash in woodchuck poo and am hoping it will be the next monetary trend.

Momma gonna make it rain up in here!

 

 

 

 

Sunday is coming….

 

And devoted Game of Thrones fans like me have been waiting years for this day.

Years!

 

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It’s the beginning of the end….. and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard a little something about it.

To be honest, I wasn’t on board with GOT at first. Fantasy is not my genre and I didn’t see the appeal. But then I stumbled on a copy of the first book at a doctor’s office and was hooked. I flew through them all… which is saying something. (Have you seen them? The Easter Island moai weigh less.)

And having read the books, I had to binge watch seasons 1-3.

Yes, I had to.

 

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Holy crap!

Thrones never disappoints.

Did I mention there are dragons?

Well, there are.

And they rock.

 

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And cook… apparently.

I won’t drone on about about the fantastic global locations, the intricate plot lines or the multi dimensional characters. I won’t wax poetic about the wow factor or the oh no they didn’t!  jaw dropping twists and turns.

Suffice it to say there’s never been a television show quite like Game of Thrones, and there probably never will be again.

So tomorrow? Don’t disturb me.

I’ll be wearing my shirt….

 

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And happily immersing myself in the realm.

 

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For the night is dark and full of terrors.

And if you don’t know what that means?

I may have to rethink our entire relationship….

 

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See?

You probably don’t get this joke either….

And that’s just sad.