Tag Archives: news

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

18 Comments

.

Because news you can use is so boring.

.

.

Sure.

Nothing will go wrong there…

.

.

Now that’s a bizarre headline if ever I saw one.

.

.

My nipples have never felt imprisoned, but maybe that’s just me.

.

.

There’s an article I am not going to explore further.

.

.

What is this ongoing obsession with Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce? A singer is dating a football player and I couldn’t care less…. but a good number of Americans think it’s a deep state conspiracy. I simply don’t get it.

.

.

Yeah, I hate when that happens. If only he’d befriended a wombat instead..

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

21 Comments

.

Trust me, you really can’t.

.

.

Please tell me there was a model involved. The thought of disembodied pubic hair strutting down the runway in stilettos is simply too much.

.

.

Gas station heroin?

In my day that used to be Cheetos.

.

.

It seems I owe Lord Dudley Mountcatten a thank you tuna.

.

.

If it’s not safe for work it’s probably perfect for this post.

.

.

Or not.

I admit I’m so out of touch I had to look up fleshlight. My advice? Don’t.

.

.

Send the animated pig brain to Washington. I think they’re a few short…

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

26 Comments

.

And if you can use it?

I’d rather not know…

.

.

I heartily disagree with this statement.

Someone has to drive after cocktail hour and it’s not going to be me.

.

.

Take that Jello!

.

.

I think the answer to this question is directly related to how much weed you’ve smoked yourself.

.

.

Because Covid wasn’t annoying enough, let’s reawaken some Cretaceous plague. What could go wrong?

.

.

Scotland has 790 islands.

I think this is a no brainer.

.

.

I’m not a Swiftie, but come on people.

Chill.

.

.

.

You can’t blame the guy. If anything is going to make me nauseated these days, it’s politics.

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

26 Comments

.

Because the world is full of useless news.

.

.

Thinking about this, I’m not sure I can get past the short term injuries.

🤢

.

.

Post Traumatic Sh*t Disorder, no doubt.

.

.

This handsome fellow ate $4,000 off the kitchen counter.

Bad dog. Bad.

.

.

That’s a little extreme. Even for the journal…

.

.

I’m sure they meant to say incorrectly, but never mind.

.

.

Risk management aside, who in their right mind belongs to a Bladder and Bowel Community… and what would you bring to that potluck supper?

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

18 Comments

.

Never useful, but hopefully entertaining.

.

.

Trying to process a quickie divorce is my guess.

.

.

I was disheartened to learn this was happening in Portland, Oregon instead of Portland, Maine. I could definitely use a little llama lovin’ when I fly.

.

.

If it’s considered humane for Fido… why not for Florence?

.

.

It’s not like they’d ever run out.

.

.

Damn. That’s a lot of poo.

.

.

Florida.

Nothing surprises me about that state anymore.

🤣

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

21 Comments

.

Let’s begin…

.

.

Holy Hell. Two uteruses? I had enough trouble with one…

.

.

I’ve never had a problem with this, but okay.

For those of you who have time constraints, the trick is to store them upside down.

.

.

I’ve often said I’d like to sleep for 5 months and lose 50lbs. That’s my kind of diet.

.

.

Nuclear mutant Chernobyl dogs. What could go wrong…

.

.

This half of a 16 year age gap couple who have been married for 40 years says it works just fine.

😉

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

16 Comments

.

Still here, still reporting on the absurd.

.

.

Kudos to the wedding photographer who caught the exact moment. That’s money well spent.

.

.

Mom voice.

Once heard, never forgotten.

.

.

I’ve had friends with allergies who were allergic to things that are hard to avoid…. grass, dust, animal dander… but being allergic to yourself? Hard to avoid that trigger.

.

.

In my experience using a shot glass makes everything easier.

.

.

Oh, sure.

That too.

.

.

This is the best thing I’ve seen all week.

🤣

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

14 Comments

.

New year? New ridiculous news…

.

.

This takes the phrase “piss on it” to a whole new level.

.

.

*Note to self – cross Baltimore off vacation destination list. *

.

.

I never actually wanted to live to 150, but damn it… knowing I could have really ticks me off.

.

.

Not many T Rexes walking around today so I guess we showed them.

.

.

This explains so much!

All our renovation disasters. I don’t need a contractor.. I need an exorcist!

.

Uncategorized

News you can’t use.

32 Comments

.

You know I’m never going to run out of these.

.

.

Just when you think things can’t get any more ridiculous….

.

.

They do.

.

.

And speaking of nipples….

.

.

Jesus wept.

.

.

Humans aren’t a very bright species. Id say that’s proof..

.

.

Call me crazy, but if you’re living somewhere illegally? It’s probably not a great idea to call this much attention to yourself.

.