Tag Archives: dogs

Flowers, flags and foolishness.

 

Flowers –

For a pure burst of summer color?

 

 

You can’t beat peonies.

 

 

They’re bright, lush and smell heavenly.

 

 

Flags –

Or as my husband calls them…

 

 

Guest towels from the spare bathroom you nail into a long piece of wood when your wife isn’t looking.

Foolishness –

 

 

The gift a friend gives you because she knows you’re allergic to horsefly bites.

 

 

With a name like the Bug Bite Thing, you don’t expect it to work.

 

 

And no surprise, it didn’t. A horsefly bit me, I suctioned my arm as directed and still swelled up like a politician at a pay by the plate fundraising dinner.

More foolishness –

 

 

Contains 40% urea.

WTF!

Don’t know what urea is?

Google it, I’ll wait.

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Right?

Who in the world wants to rub urine on their feet.

And on the off chance I ever do? I’ll save myself some money and ask the neighbor’s dog to pee on me. Lord knows he’s been trying to for years.

 

Things that make me say WTH?

 

Stupid products….

Keeping the American economy strong for decades.

 

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The Crunch Cup. So you can drink your morning cereal…

 

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Most important meal of the day? Maybe.

But you should know my husband’s cardiologist (the top rated man at the largest and best hospital in our state) said breakfast cereal is a top contributor to obesity and diabetes in this country. He won’t even allow it in his house.

So no cereal sippy cups for us.

 

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Toaster bags.

 

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Now I don’t know about you, but the day I’m too lazy to butter my bread?

I’ll just hang it up for good and take to my bed with a case of Patron.

 

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No, this is not an iPhone ball delivery system for playing catch with Fido.

 

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Pooch Selfies.

Kill me now.

 

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Okay…. I can almost see the attraction here.

 

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And while this may look a little odd?

 

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The Guzzle Buddy has my name written all over it.

But this?

 

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This is a bridge too far.

 

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No.

Just… no.

 

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I don’t know about you?

But a hydrated ass is the least of my worries right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A limited afternoon series.

 

For the next few afternoons I’m going to be my usual helpful self and give you something to do while you’re quarantining yourself at home like a good viral citizen.

Lately the net has been filled with clever and creative ways to occupy your time…. but I’m going to share one from the Getty Museum that really made me smile.

Since visits to their museum have been cancelled for the near future, they challenged their members to re-create their favorite works of art.

Here are some of my favorites:

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

Kudos to this couple.

I don’t know what the hell he put on his head, but damn.

It works.

The original…

 

 

The re-creation….

 

 

I’m not sure Dali would approve, but I’ll give them an A for effort.

And finally, here’s one that’s better seen by side.

 

Brilliant, I tell you!

Simply brilliant.

Biding our time….

 

In the time of Corona Virus.

Why is it that 3 weeks on vacation flies like the wind, but 3 weeks staying home feels like 6 months?

I know I shouldn’t complain. We’re blessed my husband can work from home and keep a steady paycheck.  But Lord…. what I wouldn’t give for Direct TV to gasp it’s last breath.

My husband is a news hound. Which is mildly annoying any other time… but now?

It feeds the hypochondria he inherited from his mother and his sometimes slightly paranoid nature.

No, I don’t want to hear the new death toll number.

And no, I definitely don’t want to see another Presidential news conference which are anything but.

 

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If only.

In other news, our stores are still out of toilet paper. And people are posting sightings like it’s Bigfoot…. or something hovering over Roswell, New Mexico.

“There’s a dozen packages of Cottonelle on Aisle 6, Hannaford in Westbrook.”

Go!

“A new shipment of  Charmin on Aisle 10, Shaws in Rockland?”

Hurry!

 

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It really is ridiculous.

And makes you wonder what we’re going to do if this trend continues.

 

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Uh oh.

Day 12…. otherwise known as Christmas.

 

So we got up bright and early to make the almost 5 hour drive down to North Carolina.

 

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                                                         Required Christmas selfie.

 

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And as we were walking down the sidewalk of our resort it struck me…..

 

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I might not be the only one who cursed my husband’s choice of the behemoth rental car.

It was an uneventful trip.

 

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But we saw lots of cotton.

 

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Really, a whole lot of cotton.

 

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And absolutely nothing else. Nothing for miles and miles… except cotton… and I was starting to sweat the steadily dropping level of gasoline.

Behemoths be thirsty.

I also took issue with Apple maps when the GPS put us in the middle of a National Forest and told us to turn around.

 

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WTF?

When the rental beast was pretty much running on fumes, we finally found a service station to fill it…. and us, since we skipped breakfast. The only choice was Subway, where I ordered a rotisserie chicken wrap and managed to leak half of the sauce on my blouse resulting in a large greasy stain.

My first words upon arrival in N.C. weren’t “Merry Christmas!”  but….. “Let me raid your closet.”

 

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My second words were “What you would like to drink?”  as I unpacked my carton of holiday cheer.

Destiny chose a bottle to match her sweater, because coordination is everything.

 

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We gave them our gifts…. and Gracie liked the books.

 

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Though I think she liked the pig a little bit more.

 

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We spent time with our daughter of the heart’s step children, John being home on leave from the Army.

 

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As you can see they aren’t young enough to be hers…. because like me, she married an older man. Which her mother thinks I’m responsible for and never lets me forget, but hey.

It worked for me.

 

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An old Marine Corps buddy of the husband’s came with us….  and it was a laid back country Christmas with lots of love and laughter.

A few highlights:

 

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My bartending skills were highly rated.

 

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And strange toys were questioned.

Does a llama really need to shake her booty?

But more importantly, why was this horror voted toy of the year in Australia?

Watch  the bizarre commercial that looks like a Saturday Night Live skit  and decide for yourself.

 

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Numerous pictures were taken.

 

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Some with prominently placed bows. (These may have been alcohol induced)

 

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Rick posed with his namesake shirt.

 

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Dogs with serious underbites begged for treats from a wonderful brown sugar glazed  ham dinner I completely devoured and forgot to photograph.

Sorry Martin.

Blame the carton of alcohol, not me.

 

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Animated discussions of politics took place….. (Which might also have been alcohol induced)

 

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But my husband smiled wider and laughed more than he has in a while, and that made my heart full.

 

Then before we were ready, it was time to say goodbye.

Hugs and tears….

 

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And we were back on the road.

For the longest almost 5 hour trip ever.

 

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The only bright spot?

 

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This house…

 

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That gave new meaning to the term holiday decorating.

 

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Truly an extravaganza.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Random ridiculousness.

 

I live in Maine.

We have terrible roads due to the high water content underneath and a never ending cycle of freezing and melting.

Frost heave is a separate season here….

 

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And the potholes can be large enough to swallow your car.

So this made me chuckle the other day….

 

 

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Mainers.

We’re an odd bunch.

 

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With funny license plates.

I also ran across a strange product:

 

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Are slipping nerd glasses really that much of a problem?

 

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Apparently it is.

 

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Let’s Chat!

 

So a blog friend of mine has time warped me back into the ’90’s.

 

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No, not that far.

Although the hair is close….

He’s started an old fashioned chat room and we’ve been playing around with it for the past few days.

 

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Damn.

Now that I think about it… he does have a Golden.

But if you have a minute and want some less than stimulating conversation, drop by and say hello!

Arionis’s time warp.

Cape Cod Day 7…. The Knob.

 

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Yes, you read that correctly.

 

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We visited the Knob.

 

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I admit to being Knob ignorant before a local told us about it….

 

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But it was our last full day on the Cape and it was on our way to Woods Hole, so why not?

 

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Of course I wasn’t exactly dressed for hiking…

 

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But I never let improper footwear get in the way of a good time.

 

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Most of the trek was through the woods.

 

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But there were a few scenic spots along the way.

 

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And a few blisters in the making later…

 

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There it was.

 

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The Knob.

 

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And one adorable…

 

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Very photogenic dog.

 

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Who I made friends with while the husband…

 

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Started talking politics with a nice guy we met along the way.

45 minutes and numerous dog photos later…

 

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I finally got him on the move again.

 

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Did I mention it was freezing cold with a biting wind?

Well, it was.

 

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But we made it to the Knob….

 

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Where I was glad to see they cared about their rocks.

 

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Some Instagram girls were there ahead of us, making the most of the backdrop.

 

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Until the husband promptly ruined it for them.

 

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Well, if you insist.

 

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The view from the Knob.

 

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Knob seen and photographed, we headed back.

 

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With the inventor of Trip Advisor’s house in the distance.

 

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Duly warned against rock theft, we continued back to the car…

 

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And peaceful Quissett Harbor.

 

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Cape Cod Day 4, Black Dog Tavern, Vineyard Haven.

 

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If you live in New England, I can guarantee you’ve seen numerous bumper stickers, t shirts and assorted swag with the ubiquitous black dog silhouette.

 

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But on day 4 of our fabulous Cape Cod adventure, we had lunch at the real thing.

 

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The original Black Dog Tavern on Martha’s Vineyard.

For a sweetly illustrated history, click here.

 

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It’s a rustic little place…

 

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With some fabulous views.

 

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Filled with maritime history as well as the flavor of the sea….

And on the day we had lunch there?

Even an adorable real life black dog on the beach.

 

 

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(No worries… it was a cool day, he had water and his owners checked on him regularly.)

 

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Cocktail?

Don’t mind if I do….

 

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Since we were at the Black Dog, I tried a Black Dog Orange Crush.

 

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Which might have to become my new favorite way to wake up the day.

 

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Happily sipping, we enjoyed watching the ferry.

 

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The boats..

 

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The harbor…

 

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And local craft beer disappear.

But yes, the food. We came for food…

 

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Quahog chowder. Thick, creamy and delicious with homemade croutons made for a nice start.

What’s a quahog you ask?

It’s a large hard shelled clam.

 

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Isn’t that just typical human behavior?

Name your pet, then kill him to find out how old he is.

Sorry Ming, you deserved better. And I sincerely hope you weren’t in our soup.

 

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I was in the mood for a good chargrilled burger and this one didn’t disappoint.

 

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The husband? He inhaled two dozen mussels.

Replete, we said goodbye to the real black dog….

 

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The views…

 

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The pier….

 

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And the original Black Dog Tavern.

 

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Fervently wishing they would come to Maine and build one on our coast!