Tag Archives: fashion

Products no one needs.

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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Magazine musings…

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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.

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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.

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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.

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According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.

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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?

Try it. Your mouth will thank me.

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Dexter is coming back!

I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.

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Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?

No.

Just no.

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I love my town.

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And I love their Facebook group page.

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A moo disorder?

More likely the poster has a Budweiser disorder.

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Okaaaay.

I’m not sure what Doug did to rate a shout out, but I’ll go with it.

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Damn. All I have under my bed is dust bunnies… where’s the fun in that?

Here’s a random photo of ducks that were for sale at our local hardware store. I’m always tempted to bring home a few when the husband sends me up there for screws.

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Now there’s a platform no one can argue with.

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You do, you really do.

Does anyone know where I can score one of those beauties?

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Clearly it’s been a long time…

 

As you know, I am not a 25 year old single woman….  (Please refrain from commenting if you value our friendship)  so it’s been a while since I leafed through a Cosmopolitan magazine. But for some reason a girlfriend gifted me a subscription, and I felt I needed to honor the gesture.

 

 

Hmm.

My hair removal routine is neither adventurous nor worth writing about, and as for the scale….. I’m afraid my hairless cat level will have to remain a mystery. I like my readers, but not that much.

 

 

And how do they know walking burrito wasn’t the look I was going for?

Fashion is personal…. and I happen to have the perfect black bean earrings to match, so there!

 

 

The selfie wasn’t around when I was young and single, so this may be a day late and a dollar short… but here goes.

 

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Okay, so maybe I need a little more practice.

 

 

What kind of noodle am I?

Yes…. I’m beginning to remember why I stopped reading Cosmo in the first place.

(In case you’re wondering? Rigatoni baby.)

I found this issue to be so utterly ridiculous, I may have to make it a monthly series. And if you’re groaning now?

Just be thankful I didn’t share all the articles today.

 

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Yes, it’s clearly been a while since I read single women’s magazines.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.

 

 

That sounds about right.

 

 

We didn’t.

We really didn’t….

 

 

I’m all for this.

As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.

 

 

I could totally rock that look.

 

 

Yeah.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.

 

 

 

That’s so wrong.

 

 

Tight pants.

A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.

Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.

Sing it sister!

 

Products that make my eyes roll.

 

Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a list of “must have” products?

It’s a guarantee I mustn’t.

 

 

Do I need a magnetized bin to save my lint?

I most decidedly do not.

Does anyone?

With my luck I’d save lint and the red squirrels would steal it to make their nests more comfortable.

 

 

So basically this is a tarp with a square frame and handles. It costs $30 and you still have to pay someone to haul it away. Makes me glad I live in the country where we can just load up our truck and drive to the dump.

 

 

Is this a joke?

No one wants to time warp back to 80’s hair.

 

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Just, no.

 

 

 

Eco friendly bamboo? Fine.

 

But charcoal bristles treated with carbon?

 

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This is not a look I care to embrace.

And finally….

 

 

Sorry, but I’m thinking my inner mermaid is better left unrevealed.

Pandemic humor.

 

Because someone has to laugh, and it might as well be you.

 

 

Ya gotta love Madison Avenue….

Simple ads are always the best.

 

 

As was I.

So where is it?

 

 

I don’t have any personal experience with this, but I can see their point.

 

 

Well those don’t look at all bunion friendly.

 

 

Now why didn’t I think of that?

 

 

As good an explanation as any.

 

 

Because cleanliness is so important.

Something for everyone.

 

Can’t find a mask to suit your personality?

I think I can help with that.

For all my wonderful women friends?

 

 

For all my slightly wine addicted friends?

 

 

For Star Wars fans like  James.

 

 

Do you love horses… or just want to look like one?

I’ve got your back.

 

 

There are even masks for those who need to read lips.

 

 

And of course, there are masks made just for me..

 

 

And because I shamefully admit there are multiple tie dye items in my closet….

 

This one is calling my name.

 

 

I should probably wear one of those when assisting my husband with outdoor projects.

Dr. Seuss has a say…

 

 

And finally,  if you’re just sick and tired of everyone?

 

Curly haired girls rejoice!

 

I’ve always had naturally curly hair. And while that didn’t allow me to blend in during the long straight 70’s, I came into my own during the bigger the better 80’s.

 

 

Women still pay large amounts of money for perms, but fresh from the shower and allowed to air dry?

My hair looks like this –

 

 

I normally embrace my curl… except on damp days when I tend to look like this:

 

 

But there are times when I’d like a change. A slightly more controlled look.

Before I found the wonder product I’m about to share with you …. with no remuneration from the company though damn it, they should… this meant schlepping to a hair salon and paying someone to spend an hour pulling and tugging my locks into submission with a hot blow dryer and a medieval torture device large round brush.

But now?

Now that I’ve found this miracle wand?

 

 

It’s smooth sailing when ever I want.

 

 

In no time flat my hair is …

 

 

Flat!

 

 

And now that you’ve seen more pictures of the back of my head than you ever thought possible?

 

 

Go get yourself one of these.

It’s quick, it’s easy… and if you can twirl spaghetti?

You can have straight… or in my case straighter… hair than you ever dreamed of at home.