Tag Archives: fashion

I hate false advertising.

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In a delightful break from the Ball Wash and testicle hammock ads, I’ve been seeing women’s fashion on my feed instead.

Not sure why since I never buy clothes I can’t try on first, but anything that replaces random male crotch shots is an improvement as far as I’m concerned.

I do however take issue with their product claims.

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For every body?

Trust me, this suit is not made for any woman over a size 4 and is why young girls grow up hating their bodies.

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Adore Me?

More like Obey Me or Else. Whip and handcuffs not included.

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News headlines I could happily have done without reading.

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It’s been a shitshow of a year hasn’t it?

While I normally roll with the punches, I have to admit sitting here on the last day of 2021 has got me a trifle depressed. Our lives have been put on hold for too long and I’m more than ready to disconnect the pause button.

With that in mind, reading the news probably wasn’t the best idea… but what the hell. How much worse could it be?

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*Note to self – don’t ever ask that question*

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Of course it will. I would expect nothing less.

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I’ve never been on a cruise, and to be honest that type of vacation never interested me. ‘Floating petri dish’ has done nothing to change my mind.

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Apparently NASA is going to rent space stations from private companies in the future. I don’t even want to know how many billions of dollars will literally go up in smoke when the current station goes poof.

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Is that what I look like in my skinny jeans?

Now I really am depressed.

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Happy November

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Temperatures are dropping, as are all the pretty autumn leaves. Late fall is setting in and winter won’t be far behind. Pumpkins will be tossed … but before you do, consider this:

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Critters love pumpkins. And if you aren’t blessed with chickens? Please cut them in half and toss them in your nearest woods. Many creatures can’t cut through the rind, but they love the juicy interior.

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Funny, and very true. I’ve never canned a single thing in my life and don’t intend to start now.

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If you’re tempted to wear these on Thanksgiving? Please… for the love of all that’s holy… post pictures.

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Sometimes you have to be ruthless.

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Especially when your closet looks like this.

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I spent 5 solid hours sorting, cleaning and trying on a shockingly large collection of things that no longer fit… but only managed to finish one little section.

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It was exhausting… as well as depressing and I called it quits when I hit the jean pile, mumbling tomorrow is another day in my best Scarlett O’Hara voice.

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I had to ditch multiple pairs of cute boots due to my I’m not 90 but my feet think they are bunions that have ruined the joy of shoe shopping and turned it into a loathsome chore I’ve come to dread. Gone are the days of fashionable heels… now? I live in sandals, sneakers and boots.

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Three garbage bags later my closet looked better… but I was more than ready for a consolation cocktail. Or two.

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Things for which there are no reasonable explanations.

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Have you noticed the new trend in flour? They make it out of everything now. Back in my day you had Gold Medal and the only choices were 1 pound or 5. Now? There’s rice flour, almond flour, spelt flour and….

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Good grief, don’t people know the only acceptable alternative use of watermelon is margaritas?

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I saw this coffee table in Home Goods the other day and it made me wonder….

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Has caging misbehaving children and dinner guests now become acceptable?Because I’m fine with that.

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Crocs…the hideous abominations are everywhere.

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They’re basically the Honey Boo Boo of footwear and people need to stop wearing them.

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And fruit themed Crocs?

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Do nothing to alter my opinion of these pathetic plastic horrors. Please… for the love of all that’s holy, let these things die the natural death of outdated ugly footwear.

Like Jellies.

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They were hideous, but at least they had the decency to die.

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Random drivel.

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I don’t usually pay attention to the Facebook memories section, but this one from an old blog friend popped up the other day and I had to laugh.

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It really does.

🤣

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That sounds simple and delicious.

If you try it before me? Let me know.

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And for Brian at http://brianlageose.blog

Because we were chatting a while back about the ridiculous old station wagons we had to drive as teenagers. Here’s my husband and I posing in front of my parent’s ‘62 Ford Falcon.

Complete with wood on the side… because we stylin’.

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If you look closely you’ll see the entire passenger side is crumpled from me side swiping a telephone pole when I was 16.

Oops.

This baby had a top speed of 51mph by the time I got her…. complete with vacuum wipers, a manual choke, and AM radio. I was the envy of exactly (count ‘em) none of my friends.

Please don’t judge the head to toe stone washed denim… it was the late 80’s. We had to.

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Finally, here’s Lord Dudley…

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In typical goober mode.

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He should, but thank God he can’t.

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Cosmopolitan Hell

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Apologies to my male readers, but it’s that time again. Time to question why anyone in their right mind reads this magazine.

This months issue of the gift that keeps on giving (whether I want it to or not) includes a discussion on bathing suit thongs.

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Please feel free to weigh in.

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Sphincter dental floss. Not likely to erase that mental image for the rest of the day are you?

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Eww. While I’m technically not against the trend…. I never thought of that!

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Less wedgie potentially? It’s specifically designed to be a wedgie. Your argument is invalid.

This next article made even me look twice.

Last chance guys…. if you don’t leave now I won’t be held responsible.

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I did warn you.

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If it’s that common, how did I not know this!

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Holy crap!

I can’t even imagine….

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Things I will never need.

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Would I like a Hermès bag? Sure.

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Would I like a Hermès bag made from fungus? Oddly enough, I would not.

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Say it isn’t so. Good grief… the model doesn’t even look happy.

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On a list of ridiculous things no one needs? This has got to be in the top 5.

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$1,000 a pair!

You might as well wear a sign that says “Yes, I’m a moron. Thanks for noticing”

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My hat’s off to them.

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A friend of ours crossed something off her bucket list recently…. and while I was happy she was fulfilling a lifelong dream, I did make one small request.

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Take pictures of the hats!

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Because when you go to the Kentucky Derby? There are lots of fabulous hats. Sadly my friend had a few too many mint juleps and only shared three hat photos. (Bad friend. Bad!)

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But at least the last one was a doozy.

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Pardon me while I snicker and include an anti-Brady Derby pic as well.

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