Tag Archives: fashion

Cosmo Hell.

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The April issue of my (is this awful gift ever going to end?) Cosmopolitan subscription is here and as usual, it’s filled with things too ridiculous not to share.

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Fashion… or do designers just have twisted senses of humor? Tough call.

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This months quiz was pretty lame. And in case you’re interested…

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This next one made me laugh as well as cringe.

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If that doesn’t make your eyes roll, nothing will.

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I don’t know about you, but I neither have.. nor need… to bathe my crystals.

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Is it any wonder this country is going down the proverbial drain?

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Date ideas seemed like an interesting read and a good way to see how things have changed since I was on the market back in the dark ages of the 80’s.

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Mario Kart can improve your sex life? What am I missing here….

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Wow. I know I’m middle aged, menopausal and not as hip as I once was (the casual use of the word hip proves the veracity of that statement even more than the scrunchie that’s currently holding my hair back) but cutting each other’s toenails on a date? That makes me very glad I’m old, happily married and way off the singles track.

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Of slime and flies.

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Fashion is ephemeral. One day something is trending hot and everyone has to wear it/do it… the next day it’s passé. Here’s hoping this never catches on, because honestly? Eew.

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Sorry, but that just looks like five globs of mucus…. and if I don’t eat the slimy shellfish? I certainly don’t want them on the end of my fingers.

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I added the perfect glass to the man cave bar shelf yesterday. Because I do, to both.

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It’s official, I will be calling our vacuum the rollsuck supreme from now on.

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Yeah, because I need Dudley to stare at me more than he does already . Not!

And speaking of Dudley, for your viewing pleasure here’s a quick clip of him enjoying his latest hobby. Fly catching.

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And while it’s a bit disgusting he insists on eating them? On a positive note, our house will be fly free for the foreseeable future.

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More beauty is in the eye of the beholder adoptees.

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The World Wildlife Fund’s symbolic adoption continues.

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Cute candidates abound but you know this fellow will be left out in the cold.

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No one will want to cuddle up with him on the couch. That dude needs a serious manicure.

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Honey Badgers get a bad rap and sure, they’ve been known to viciously kill humans… but I’d still rather adopt one of them than Honey Boo Boo.

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Most people find condors to be ugly birds, but come on…. he’s rocking that feather boa. It’s not an easy look to pull off.

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And finally there’s the wombat, a much maligned creature. Sure he poops square cubes and has a two pronged penis….. but hey, none of us is perfect.

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Catapalooza.

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The crazy cat lady Facebook algorithm is in full swing.

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Does my furniture require cat feet stockings?

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It most definitely does not.

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That goes the same for my feet….

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And my lips.

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Cat ear beret? Okay, I admit I could almost see myself wearing that.

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Is it me, or does this cat look like he’s plotting his owner’s slow and painful dismemberment?

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Unisex? On what planet….

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But there.

At least they got something right.

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Products no one needs.

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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Magazine musings…

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Since I’m still trying to plow through my massive stack of magazines, I have to share.

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Do we really need shoes that breathe? I don’t… but maybe that’s just me.

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I’m all for alternative leather products… eucalyptus? Cool. But if they come up with kale filled seats? I’m boycotting on sheer principle.

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According to this map temperatures are rising almost everywhere but it looks like me and my hot flashes are in the right place. Hang in there Maine! River melts into a puddle in anything above 75 degrees.

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If you’ve never had canned brown bread you haven’t lived a full life. This is a Maine staple, made in Portland, Maine… so why this article calls it Boston brown is a mystery. Moist and filled with molasses?

Try it. Your mouth will thank me.

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Dexter is coming back!

I don’t have Showtime anymore but might have to resubscribe in order to revisit my favorite serial killer.

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Ghost pepper strawberry frosting?

No.

Just no.

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I love my town.

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And I love their Facebook group page.

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A moo disorder?

More likely the poster has a Budweiser disorder.

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Okaaaay.

I’m not sure what Doug did to rate a shout out, but I’ll go with it.

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Damn. All I have under my bed is dust bunnies… where’s the fun in that?

Here’s a random photo of ducks that were for sale at our local hardware store. I’m always tempted to bring home a few when the husband sends me up there for screws.

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Now there’s a platform no one can argue with.

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You do, you really do.

Does anyone know where I can score one of those beauties?

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Clearly it’s been a long time…

 

As you know, I am not a 25 year old single woman….  (Please refrain from commenting if you value our friendship)  so it’s been a while since I leafed through a Cosmopolitan magazine. But for some reason a girlfriend gifted me a subscription, and I felt I needed to honor the gesture.

 

 

Hmm.

My hair removal routine is neither adventurous nor worth writing about, and as for the scale….. I’m afraid my hairless cat level will have to remain a mystery. I like my readers, but not that much.

 

 

And how do they know walking burrito wasn’t the look I was going for?

Fashion is personal…. and I happen to have the perfect black bean earrings to match, so there!

 

 

The selfie wasn’t around when I was young and single, so this may be a day late and a dollar short… but here goes.

 

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Okay, so maybe I need a little more practice.

 

 

What kind of noodle am I?

Yes…. I’m beginning to remember why I stopped reading Cosmo in the first place.

(In case you’re wondering? Rigatoni baby.)

I found this issue to be so utterly ridiculous, I may have to make it a monthly series. And if you’re groaning now?

Just be thankful I didn’t share all the articles today.

 

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Yes, it’s clearly been a while since I read single women’s magazines.

 

Pandemic humor.

 

Because laughter is the only contagious thing I want to catch.

 

 

That sounds about right.

 

 

We didn’t.

We really didn’t….

 

 

I’m all for this.

As hard as lock down has been, there are some people I’ve been quite happy to avoid.

 

 

I could totally rock that look.

 

 

Yeah.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it with the conspiracy theorists.

 

 

 

That’s so wrong.

 

 

Tight pants.

A pandemic symptom I can totally relate to.

Which brings me to the new anthem for the Covid age.

Sing it sister!