Cosmo-ly Hell (warning- things go south quickly… literally and figuratively)

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This month’s issue of Cosmopolitan made me wonder why my girlfriend gave me a subscription to this in the first place. Fashion and make up tips? Fine.

But, hey… I don’t have a post pandemic sex bucket list and don’t plan on making one any time soon.

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But if I did?

I can assure you this wouldn’t be on it.

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Good grief. I’ve been known to blog about my trips to the grocery store… but I seriously doubt anyone wants to read about that happening in the middle of aisle 12.

After the bucket list, there was a list of commonly asked questions.

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I don’t know about you, but that’s not something I commonly ask.

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And I can guaran-damn-tee you I’ve never asked that!!

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I’m not going to show the answers to that one, you’ll never look at the contents of your kitchen cabinets the same way, but I’ll leave you with this more than slightly suggestive accompanying photo.

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This.

This is what passes for a woman’s magazine these days.

Hell, I’m not a prude… but it seems like these articles would be more suited to Hustler or Gynecologist’s Quarterly.

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27 thoughts on “Cosmo-ly Hell (warning- things go south quickly… literally and figuratively)”

  1. Two points: (1) Vibrating panties? Do they make vibrating men’s underwear? I need to get something to jiggle those last drops out….and (2) I am done with jell-o. Forever. The same destruction has happened to the Rolling Stone. I used to love that magazine, but now it is all off-the wall political articles. Music does not factor into the pages anymore.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am unaware of men’s vibrating panties … but perhaps they talk about those in GQ.
      And yes, Rolling Stone is another magazine that’s taken a decided turn. I had a subscription last year but didn’t renew.

      Like

  2. Oh deal lort!!! What fresh hell is this?!?! Ugh and I get this magazine as well, and I didn’t even subscribe to it to begin with. I usually only go through it for the perfume samples, and avoid reading the nonsense it contains inside….(insert eye roll here.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure.
    The kinky 33 year old housewife was wearing a pair of battery operated Passion Pants, bought from a sex shop, while she did her shopping, according to the British tabloid The Sun.
    But she got so stimulated by the 6cm vibrating bullet in the panties that she lost consciousness.
    She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales.
    When the paramedics arrived, they found her black imitation leather knickers still buzzing.
    They took them off before an ambulance took her to the hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered no long lasting ill effects.
    As she left the hospital, a paramedic gave her back the Passion Pants in a plastic bag.
    A spokesman for the Asda supermarket chain told The Sun: “We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “The woman, whose identity has been kept private, suffered no long lasting ill effects.”

      I guess you don’t die of humiliation. But I’ll wager she wishes she could. I wonder if she still shops the same store …

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Me, after glancing through a Cosmo article on 50 Shades at the dentist office, to Snookums; “Have you ever wanted me to tie you to a door frame and tickle you with a vibrator until you ’til you screamed?”.
    Snookums; “No.”

    Now wondering if we are abnormal …

    Liked by 1 person

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