My husband has a childhood friend named Dick. As you can imagine, going through life with that name requires a sense of humor. He has one, and figures if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. So when I run across Dick jokes? I have to share. The following requires using the predictive text on your phone and some of the answers were a hoot.
.
.
Here’s mine:
.
.
Truer words were never spoken.
.
.
Is it wrong I find these amusing?
.
.
Or saluted. Tough call.
.
.
And here I thought Dicks didn’t take time off.
.
.
That’s one way to look at it. Or them…
.
.
The way people are these days? I’m not sure that will work.
.
.
A manufactured product. Does that mean Wal Mart has them on sale?
.
.
Poor Dick, apparently not everyone is a fan.
.
.
Heck, we’ve all been there.
Funny side note? I blogged this from my phone and every time I typed Dick… it was changed to Duck. Every. Single. Time.
Day two of roof repair was not without its pitfalls.
.
.
And Lord Dudley Mountcatten kept a close eye on the progress.
.
.
Yes that’s a giant copper and silver cicada on my coffee table. You mean you don’t have one…? How strange.
.
.
The weather that morning was awful.
.
.
Rain, wind and colder than average temps. Work didn’t even start until 10:00am.
.
.
At times it seemed like the black clouds were aiming right for them.
.
.
But progress was made in between the showers and I was glad to see the gap in the problem corner was tightly covered with ice and water shield. A gerry rigged solution to be sure, but an improvement none the less. Had this been done the day before (as I requested, repeatedly) our ceiling wouldn’t look like this:
I don’t claim to know everything, but I do know if you’re going to strip a roof for repairs during a weekend when rain is predicted? You postpone or make damn sure you cover that sucker completely.
.
.
My husband on the other hand, likes to gamble.
.
.
And as you can see by what I woke up to Saturday morning…
.
.
He lost. ( Unplug the tv and move the table? Why… when you can just cover it with trash bags? It’s times like these I question my love for that man.)
.
.
And while I would normally enjoy a good I told you so and being right….
.
.
The utter disaster that is our ceiling took the joy right out of it.
Roof section stripped, ice and water shield in place, drip edge nailed down.
.
.
The problem corner was recognized and discussed.
.
.
I checked periodically and enjoyed the view from up high.
.
.
You’d think all the hammering and noise would scare off the wildlife…
.
.
But it didn’t stop Chuck from having a little nosh.
.
.
No, the husband wasn’t asleep… but they’d been on the roof since 8:00am and apparently he can strategize just as well lying down.
I repeatedly asked what he was going to do with the bad corner…. and I was repeatedly ignored. Please refer to the complicated diagram below to understand how and where the water was getting in.
.
.
They finished for the day at 7:00pm and the tarp was redeployed. But when I went back out and found the section over the door (you know.. where it was leaking!) hadn’t been covered, I suggested something might need to be done due to the forecast of imminent rain. But once again, I was ignored. Because really, what do I know?
While most people were at the beach or the lake enjoying picnics and barbecues with lovely waterfront views this weekend…. my view was somewhat different .
.
.
Because of all the times my husband could have picked to replace a section of our roof?
.
.
He picked Memorial Day weekend. You know, the long weekend where rain was predicted Saturday morning, Sunday night and all day Monday. I suggested he postpone the repairs. He ignored me. I asked him to postpone the repairs. He told me it wasn’t necessary. I told him it was going to frigging rain! He got aggravated with me, said it would be fine and told me to go in the house.
.
.
More on this later.
.
.
If you’ve been paying attention you know we’ve had a serious roof leak for a while now. Our living room ceiling is a mess and though the husband has ripped off and replaced numerous sections of shingles he could never figure out where the water was breaking through.
.
.
Me? I’ve complained for years about the gutter leaking in the corner right above the doors… but he never paid attention. What do I know?
.
.
Apparently more than he does … because when they got it all stripped?
.
.
The only part of wood that was wet and rotted was right over the doors. (Please note it took a boatload of restraint for me not to scream I told you so. And I wanted to. I really wanted to.)
.
.
Of course in true nothing ever goes smoothly at our house fashion? Lowes called on Friday to say the shingles that were supposed to be delivered Saturday couldn’t be because the forklift on the truck was broken. This meant my husband had to pick up 9 square of architectural shingles, tar paper, nails and water shield in his old truck.
.
.
The photo doesn’t do it justice, but trust me… that sucker was squatted down so far I thought the rear tires would pop.
.
P.S….. for those who might be interested? After exhaustive diagnosis tests, the reason the truck left us stranded in NH was a rotted vacuum line to the EKG valve. I have no idea what that is, but someone might.
This month’s squirrel has been doing a little gardening.
.
.
And while I never object to landscaping and property beautification, if she’s planting a tree next to our house for easier access…. I’ll be grabbing my ax and aiming for more than the tree.
.
Where there's only one step from the sublime to the ridiculous.
River's world..... 