Tag Archives: squirrel

In case you were wondering….

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Yes, she’s still here.

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Though thankfully this year she’s keeping her distance and not nesting in our attic.

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How long that will last probably depends on how long her memory is.

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Forcibly knocking her children out of my gutter’s downspout was traumatic I’m sure.

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I’m hoping she took up residence in the neighbor’s new tree house. I mean come on, it’s a house. In a tree. What does she want… an engraved invitation?

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Someone has discovered the great outdoors.

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After a few weeks of totally avoiding the windows….

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Our little guy has discovered the joy of squirrels.

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And since it wasn’t the resident red bitch, I didn’t even wish it ill.

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This brave grey fellow was positively taunting Lord Dudley.

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And manic cackling ensued.

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The afternoon ended with a flock of wild turkeys….

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And I think it’s safe to say the great outdoors will now be providing hours of feline entertainment.

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The March squirrel.

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It’s March first…. and that means it’s time for a new calendar squirrel.

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This month we see the little red devil has loaded up the kids and taken to the road.

Let it be known – I will gladly purchase a Barbie recreational vehicle if our furry red rodent from Hell will hit the highway. Heck, I’ll fill the damn thing with nuts if that’s what it takes for her to vacate the premises.

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Look, it even has a pool. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the little bitch will drown.

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This bitch has got to go.

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Every Sunday night I kick the husband off the big tv in the living room and stay up late binge watching a bunch of recorded series. I don’t watch a lot of television, but I am addicted to a few HBO, Starz and Showtime programs that my other half hates.

So Monday is the one morning I sleep past 5:00am… and I relish my extra 2 hours. But this Monday morning? I was woken by a noise.

Scratching. And banging. Then more scratching.

I grumbled, I stumbled, I got out of bed and I found this….

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The red squirrel bitch from Hell. She had scaled the bush alongside the house and was scrambling up and down the screen, over and over. And then?

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She just hung there.

Taunting me.

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That bitch has got to go.

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Random January shots…

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I know the picture is bad and you probably can’t read the writing, but this salon I drove by last week?

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Claimed to be The Best Little Hair House in Augusta…. and that made me laugh.

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This is the January squirrel from our new calendar…. and if momma red dons a pair of skis? I’ll be sure to post a picture of that as well.

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I think we’re all entering the new year with a little trepidation, aren’t we…?

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Look!

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Our contractor does exist! I even caught him putting on the third coat of polyurethane.

And I had to take this picture as well, because the husband is so thrilled he’s going to have a bar?

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He walks out there everyday and communes with it.

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What fresh Christmas Hell is this…?

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Since the husband and I usually travel for Christmas, I haven’t done decorations for years. Wreaths in the windows, a few snowflake lights on the barn and a Charlie Brown tree on the table was as much enthusiasm as I could muster this season.

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And when you’ve been married as long as we have (37 years in a few weeks) presents aren’t a big deal either. We’re lucky enough to buy what we want, when we want (and he still doesn’t know my taste in jewelry) so we took a pass on that as well.

There is however one gift that keeps on giving.

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Yes, after a prolonged absence in which I continually prayed for her earthly demise…

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She was back on Christmas Eve. Looking for a way into the house.

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And taunting me…

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The little bitch.

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So if she comes down the chimney wearing a Santa hat today? I won’t be held responsible.

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No. It most definitely is not…

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Last minute Christmas gifts for the weirdos on your list.

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For those friends who like to play in the dirt?

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Pencils. They’re not just for chewing anymore…

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I thought this next one was cute.

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But realized I might be attacked by that hungry red squirrel bitch and had to pass.

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Yoga dice?

How am I supposed to play craps if a winning roll is downward facing dog.

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I see the appeal here.

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We’re building a barn bar and the husband has been known to tick me off.

Hmmm..

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Because an internal kind message will take the sting out of an F Bomb gift.

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And finally there’s jewelry.

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Because no woman can resist a man who gives her turd themed bling.

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