Tag Archives: plants

You’re never too old to learn… Succulent Picture Frame.

 

Gather round students…. the Maine  is this for real?  Adult Education classes continue.

If you live in Maine  you can learn some wonderful things. So far in this riveting series we’ve had:

 

You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

You’re never too old to learn…. Chakra Toning.

You’re never too old to learn…. Mindfulness.

You’re never to old to learn…. Tin Cans.

You’re never too old to learn…. Knotweed Flutes.

 

And today we continue with Succulent Picture Frames.

(Disclaimer – This class does not require sucking. But I think that’s offered at PT’s Showclub in Portland.)

 

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Course description:

Succulent Picture Frame 

Having live plants around as we transition into fall will brighten every day and beautify your home. You will set up your own succulent picture frame with a variety of plants to create your own living art! You will also receive instruction on how to care for this gorgeous creation to enjoy it all year long. The price of the course includes all materials to make one succulent picture frame. Materials fee of $60 included in the price of the course. No discounts.

 

A frame. Made out of plants.

My first question is why?

Don’t get me wrong, I love plants… they’re beautiful and versatile.

 

 

As well as great disguises when you’re stalking an ex.

 

 

They can even rid your house of pesky flies… I get it.

 

 

Though we all know that can go horribly wrong…

 

 

But hell, I can hardly be bothered to dust my current picture frames, now they want me to water one?

No.

Because while I have lovely outdoor gardens, and a house full of healthy green leafy plants?

I will kill each and every succulent I touch.

 

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I must over water….. or love them too much.

Because yes, apparently that’s a thing.

 

 

So if I want my walls to be covered in framed plants?

 

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I’ll just dye my cobwebs green and call it good.

 

 

 

Some garden fluff.

 

Japanese Iris season.

 

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I like it.

 

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The butterflies like it.

 

 

 

Life is good.

I also like shopping at ginormous greenhouses.

 

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Rows upon rows of blooming beauty.

 

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The colors.

 

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The pointy planters.

 

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The endless succulents.

It doesn’t suck is what I’m saying…. and I always come home with a car load.

 

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And yes, there’s that.

This particular greenhouse even had a Dr. Seuss tree.

 

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And something called a Sensitive Plant that I couldn’t stop touching.

 

 

Have you seen these things?

They’re bizarre.

Touch them, and they cringe like Melania when Donald rolls over in bed.

 

 

But I didn’t buy one because…. let’s face it, it has to be touched. And I’d never get anything done if I sat around touching my plant all day now would I?

 

 

And while I’m sure some of my readers have a similar problem?

Please…

Try to refrain from sharing.

There are some mental images I just don’t need.

 

Nursery chuckles and organic weed control.

 

I’ve never met a flower I didn’t like, so I never pass a nursery without stopping in to check out the new arrivals.

The other day?

This made me laugh.

 

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Best name for manured soil…

Evah!

 

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And then there was this little succulent…

 

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Who clearly wanted a hug.

 

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When I got home that afternoon and saw all the dandelions popping up on our lawn, I lamented the fact that we don’t use chemicals for weed control.

But then I saw this out our bedroom window.

 

 

 

Bless his little Chucker heart.

He wandered around and ate every bloom he saw.

Suck on that Monsanto!

 

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I knew it!

 

 

Because I’m a very technical gardener.

 

My back is breaking, but the annual planting of annuals is done.

(See what I did there? Word play. I live for that shit.)

 

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A nice combination of pink and white for the stone wall bed.

 

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There’s this pretty daisy-ish one…

 

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And the pink tinged green leafy thingies.

 

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(See what I mean by technical?

Please try to keep up with the detailed scientific plant descriptions.

There may be a quiz.)

 

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I liked this purple violet thingamabob…

 

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So I planted 3 with a couple of petunias.

 

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A few coleus for the only little plot of shade we have.

 

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It will be a miracle if I can keep the slugs off them this year.

I plant, they eat. Slimy little bastards…

Note to self – buy more salt.

 

 

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Orange lilies…

 

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Spikey purple whatchamacallit, an impatient and two soft fuzzy green mounds.

 

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I don’t think the fuzzies bloom…

 

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But they’re silky, delicate and sweet, so I don’t care.

 

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Every year the husband says he’s going to tear down our rotting shed, and every year he doesn’t, so I plant yellow and orange stuff in front of it.

Like this whozit which has both.

 

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If you can recite all the Latin names for those plants?

Bravo.

I tend to read them on the tags at the nursery and then forget them as soon as I get home.

 

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That won’t work.

I don’t know enough rappers.

 

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That’s better.

I do love me some Cleese.