Tag Archives: rodent

The March squirrel.

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It’s March first…. and that means it’s time for a new calendar squirrel.

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This month we see the little red devil has loaded up the kids and taken to the road.

Let it be known – I will gladly purchase a Barbie recreational vehicle if our furry red rodent from Hell will hit the highway. Heck, I’ll fill the damn thing with nuts if that’s what it takes for her to vacate the premises.

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Look, it even has a pool. Maybe I’ll get lucky and the little bitch will drown.

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This bitch has got to go.

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Every Sunday night I kick the husband off the big tv in the living room and stay up late binge watching a bunch of recorded series. I don’t watch a lot of television, but I am addicted to a few HBO, Starz and Showtime programs that my other half hates.

So Monday is the one morning I sleep past 5:00am… and I relish my extra 2 hours. But this Monday morning? I was woken by a noise.

Scratching. And banging. Then more scratching.

I grumbled, I stumbled, I got out of bed and I found this….

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The red squirrel bitch from Hell. She had scaled the bush alongside the house and was scrambling up and down the screen, over and over. And then?

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She just hung there.

Taunting me.

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That bitch has got to go.

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