.
But if you can use it, I’m not sure I want to know.
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Admit it, we’ve all known men like this.
.
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I call foul.
My diet includes burgers and martinis… and I don’t look at all like that.
.
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Entirely… or at all?
Yikes.
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Holy Hell…
That’s a python and a half.
.
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After.
So everything was fine during the sex with 620 men?
😳
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In 2016 the state of Maine voted to legalize marijuana. While this would have been a dream come true in my teenage years, after giving it up 4 decades ago I can’t honestly say the decision has affected my life one iota today.
Other than the occasional chuckle while driving.
.
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Be still my adolescent heart.
I’m old enough to remember rolling my own blunts out of a Ziploc dime bag hidden in my locker…. now there are pot stores on every corner in every town. Seriously, tiny podunk villages that only have a gas station and a post office have marijuana distribution centers. It’s bizarre.
There are so many choices for legalized weed, the stores have to get creative with their advertising to attract customers. Like this place we passed the other day….
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That built a giant leafy Adirondack chair.
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And outlined it with Christmas lights.
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The chronic is alive and well in the state of Maine.
🥴
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I used to be healthy. Annoyingly so.
I was the child who never caught chicken pox, measles or mumps.
The teenager who never had acne, a cavity or broken bones.
The young adult who still had her tonsils, appendix and wisdom teeth.
The middle aged woman who’d never had the flu, a migraine or been in the hospital.
I made it to 49 without diabetes, high cholesterol or literally any health issues whatsoever.
Then I turned 50… and the downward spiral began.
I blew out my knee, and arthritis set in. I caught chicken pox because my husband had shingles. (It’s not fun at an advanced age. Neither is it pretty.)
.
.
That’s not acne, it’s pox. 🥴
Bunions started to form on both my feet making pretty shoes painful and virtually impossible to wear. I had a full hysterectomy which wrecked my body in too many ways to list. My fifties were not kind. And now that I’ve entered the next decade? I barely recognize the perky, energetic, up for anything person I used to be.
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I’m currently 5 for 10 on this list.
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I sailed past #1, 2 and 3 as I always have my phone, don’t bruise easily and my memory is still intact.
4. Yes, damn it. I’m there.
5. I’ve got cheater reading glasses in every room, my purse, my car and 3 in the kitchen. No trouble finding a pair for this chick.
6. Show up at my house unexpectedly? Please leave your copy of Vogue at the door.
7. 9:30? I’m in bed by then, better make it 8:00.
8. People do still say those words in my universe… and for that, I’m thankful.
9. I’ve woken up with a stiff neck, sciatic pain and a knee so locked I have to tumble out of bed. When the mere act of sleeping causes injury? You know you’re over the hill.
10. After hormonal shifts from menopause and a dramatic weight gain the likes of which I’d never previously experienced? There are no scales in our house.
For those of my readers who qualify, how many of these 10 apply to your life?
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Because if you’re here? You’re already bored enough….
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I stole this from FB, and some of the answers are worth sharing.
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Drat.
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Thank you, but I’d rather not.
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How sad.
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How many players do you need?
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Kudos!
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Too funny!
Here’s mine –
(And talk about perfect timing)
Severance.
🤣
Somewhere nearby, my husband is cringing.
Now you…
Title your sex life by the last show you watched.
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten does not exert himself unnecessarily.
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Or at all, honestly.
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Cat life is good.
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The moon has been amazing lately, but I never manage to take decent photographs of it.
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Doesn’t stop me from trying though.
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Shout out to Grace at Just Tawkin’ for recommending this beautifully written, heartwarming, and simply wonderful book.
You’ll never think of an octopus the same way.
❤️
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The husband and I celebrated a wedding anniversary recently.
This was my Facebook post for the day.
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Sorry, but it’s true. He’s an amazing husband, partner and overall great guy. Generous, strong willed, kind hearted and honest. Is it any wonder I’ve kept him so long?
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A lovely bouquet was delivered that morning…
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And then the happy couple took a drive down the coast for a walk.
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It was a bit brisk, so we didn’t make the whole loop…
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But we ended the day with cocktails and a nice meal.
The blackberry elderflower Prosecco spritz with fresh mint was divine.
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As were my giant crab cakes.
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These sexy swimmers of yesteryear were hanging on the wall to my right, but I only had eyes for my guy.
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Honey balsamic salmon for the husband… the sugar caramelized, but it was perfectly cooked.
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And a fabulous chicken Marsala for moi.
Here’s to another four happy decades.
💕
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We woke up yesterday morning to snow.
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The forecast called for 6-8 inches but we barely got 4.
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,
Maine winters aren’t what they used to be, but the birds still need to be fed.
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There really wasn’t enough white stuff to blow, but men do love their noisy toys.
After the chores were done, we headed out to the man cave for a game.
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And even with horrible letters like these, I was victorious.
By late morning?
It was time to start drinking.
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And after listening to that inaugural speech?
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I might keep drinking until 2029.
😒
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It’s useless, but hopefully entertaining as well.
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Is it me…. or are those dodos wearing some very bad toupees? No wonder they went extinct.
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It could hardly be any worse.
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Narcissists are the worst.
Though ripping off their faces may be an extreme solution.
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Sounds like they found him.
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I love Cajun food and learned to cook gumbo and etouffe from Louisiana natives. But swamp rat is one pirogue too far.
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Knowing it worked is enough for me.
You want details? You’re on your own.
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I have a gin rummy app on my phone.
If I want to play that game I have to do it there…. because I beat my husband too often and he’ll only sit down for a game with me if the power goes out and he’s desperate for entertainment.
I have it set it on the most difficult level and beating the computer is challenging. Until the other day when it declared me the winner…
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Though I clearly was not.
🥴
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Lord Dudley Mountcatten loves his blanket during the winter months.
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And woe to the human who thinks about removing it from the couch.
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His Lordship has my husband well trained.
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He knocks his favorite mouse off the ottoman…
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And my husband catches it.
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Again.
And again.
And again….
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His Lordship is an odd fellow and has been known to sit and stare at nothing at all.
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Yesterday morning it was the sun.
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Lord Dudley loves his mouse.
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And often goes full on penguin, tucking it under his belly.
Is he trying to hatch it?
Time will tell.
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River's world..... 