Tag Archives: google

Super Bowl food horrors.

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If you’re not familiar with the tradition , every year Google releases a map of the most popular Super Bowl food searches by state.

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Being game day, I’m posting this helpful hint of what not to eat while watching Mahomes take Brady down a peg. Maine clicked in with traditional nachos, but some other states seem to have lost their minds.

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Vermont went a different route. But then again, they usually do.

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Oh, hell no Nebraska.

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This just keeps getting worse.

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Jesus. Do people not know how to snack anymore?

Chia seed at the Super Bowl. WTF!

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My first one is a live pear.

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I don’t know about you, but I never have anything pop up in the ‘search terms’ box of my stats page…. until now.

I was excited! What was someone looking for when they arrived at my page… Chickens? Rocks? Rodent rebellions? It could be anything.

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New live pears?

What the…

What?

This required a Google search of my own.

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The Grisly Pear and… zombies.

No, that can’t be right.

Let’s try again.

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Okay, a giant lau lau is strange enough…

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But a waterproof bullet vibrator?

What the utter F!

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Throwing some questions out into the universe.

 

Why is it that….

Every time you’re in a rush to get out the door?

Great Aunt Trudy will call and want to regale you with detailed stories of her piles.

If I didn’t want to hear about them the last 3 times we spoke? Chances are I really don’t want to hear about them when I’m 10 minutes late for an appointment.

 

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Why is it that

Every time I cut my hand in the kitchen?

I’m in danger of bleeding out because I can’t get the damned Bandaid package open with one hand.

Seriously, WTH?

 

 

Why is it that

Even though I’m a font of useless knowledge, I let my friends down last week when I couldn’t come up with the winning answer in a trivia game tie breaker at my local bar?

 

2nd-place-is-only-the-first-loser

 

But, come on.

Did you know that the original name for the Google search engine was…

BackRub?

No… I didn’t think so.

 

 

Why is it that…

Every time I take the time to wash and wax my car?

It either rains, or a flock of pigeons who’ve just eaten at Chipolte follow me home.

 

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Why is it that….

Every time I think I have absolutely nothing to blog about?

I always manage to come up with something ridiculous.

 

 

You’re welcome.