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Pick an otter.
Any otter.
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I’m going with I.
Slightly amused, slightly befuddled.
Which otter are you?
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Let’s play.
Tag Archives: humor
Moronic maps.
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Another day, another bunch of ridiculous statistics.
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Clearly people in Tennessee fish differently.
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As attractiveness is completely subjective, I’m suspending belief on this one.
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You have to appreciate specificity in the law.
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I recently posted European male genital size… this only seems fair.
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Do that many people really say jam?
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The Waffle House coincidence is strong.
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The price of cocktails is sky rocketing like everything else. Add some fresh fruit puree and herbs and they can be as much as a meal.
😩
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News you can’t use.
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Still here.
Still useless.
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Uh uh.
No cockroach milkshake for this chick.
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Yes, she lost control of her bowels while running and kept going…. with the excrement, well… how shall we say? Dispersing.
🤢
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Thankfully the teeth belonged to wolves, deer and bear. Not great aunt Edna. That would be tacky.
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Of course it does.
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Apparently it had a hand crank.
Make of that information what you will.
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I’ve been known to squeal over a fine piece of chocolate, but I don’t think I’ve ever gone ultrasonic.
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I have adult toys now.
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And sadly, they’re not the fun kind.
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No.
After another redundant appointment with my orthopedic PA, where we went over prep and procedure for my partial knee replacement surgery again…
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I’m now the (not so) proud owner of a cane and a walker.
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Welcome to Oldville River.
Grab a shawl.
😩
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Let’s play.
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Because everyone likes Fridays.
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The way things are going? That’s probably what it will take to fill my oil tanks for the winter.
😩
But if I have to use it for something fun and frivolous it would be one of two things….
A fabulously flashy red sports car for the husband. The man loves to drive, and though his hair may be grey… he still loves to drive fast.
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Yeah, he’d look good in that.
Though I’ll have to wait for my new knee before I attempt exiting that low slung beast.
And if I don’t buy him a sports car? We’ll take a fabulous tour of Europe, first class all the way.
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Back to France because we both loved it the first time. Italy for the food and Roman history. Austria for the Alps and my very large but never met mother’s side of the family. Ending in Britain to explore English castles, Irish pubs and my father’s Scottish roots.
Now you-
If you had to spend $100,000 on something fun, what would it be?
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Sunrise, with skunk.
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Another colorful sunrise, this time with something stinky underneath.
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Stinky..
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But also cute.
💕
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News you can’t use.
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Bringing you all the news that’s not fit to print every Monday… just because I can.
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Have we been doing this?
I was unaware.
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I suppose that would be handy if you get the urge to bake Martian bread.
Just knock down a wall.
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This explains so much.
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My first thought on reading this?
You’re an idiot.
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And look. I was right.
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Woodchucks are a type of marmot and we have an entire woodchuck family under our barn.
My sandals are scared.
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Meanwhile, in Maine.
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I love living in my state and especially in one of its rural towns.
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We’ve had our neighbor’s horses, goats and chickens all wander over to say hello but as of yet, no cows.
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I want cows too!
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That’s a traffic jam you’ll never see in the city.
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Whaaat?
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And people think Oregon is weird….
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🤣
Closer to home, the geese are on the move.
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A few cold nights is all it takes for these birds to say sayonara and head for warmer shores.
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We were invited to dinner at a friend’s house recently and I made my cappuccino mousse trifle with raspberries.
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It’s always a hit and in exchange? Our British ex pat friends shared a lovely bottle of gin they picked up in Scotland that I’d never even heard of.
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Ooh la la.
If you’re a G&T fan? This is delightful. Smooth, crisp and oddly… almost creamy. It’s made with hand harvested sugar kelp seaweed and is a true small batch gem from the Outer Hebrides.
It’s not available in Maine, so I may have to make a pilgrimage to Boston soon.
🍸
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Let’s play.
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You know the drill.
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I’m going with 4 and 6.
4. When we visited France… me with very rudimentary French language skills and my husband with a non existent grasp… we felt like fish out of water, which resulted in many strange hand signals that probably insulted the natives. (It was pre cell phone days, no on demand translator for us) So yes, being able to converse without looking like brain dead baboons would be helpful.
6. First class is ridiculously more expensive than business so I rarely if ever book it. But it would be nice to have a little more elbow room and a full can of Coke.
As for the rest, we’re retired and don’t need vacation days.
Perfect weather is nice, but it’s on those gloomy rainy days that we discover the great museums and art galleries.
I’m a type A researcher. If there’s a secret spot? I’ll find it.
Make lifelong friends? My husband will talk to a rock. We never meet strangers.
Now you.
Pick two!
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What a waste of time.
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The knee surgery saga continues.
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And at 62?
It’s time for replacement parts.
The husband and I (his presence was mandatory as my designated care giver) spent a mind numbing two and a half hours in a conference room at the hospital the other day, sitting through a class of pre and post op information I’ve already been given three times.
Seriously, the lecture and presentation were word for word identical to the large folder of material given to me by the orthopedist.
I’d say it was a complete waste of time, but I did learn not to pack a lizard in my bag….
So there’s that.
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And yes..
That was an actual part of the presentation.
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I sneaked a picture for the blog and earned a dirty look from the nurse.
If she holds it against me in the operating room? I’m blaming you.
🤣
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