Tag Archives: humor

News you can’t use.

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In all the years I lived down south I could never bring myself to enjoy okra. Even deep fried I found it to be a slime filled snot ball.

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But if it can clean up plastic waste? I may have to rethink my aversion.

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That is some seriously vengeful lightning right there. In my head I’m hearing Liam Neeson’s voice. “I will find you”.

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Where has this been all my life?

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And what the Hell Canada! We’re your friendly lobster filled neighbors to the south…. please share.

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Now that is a yacht worth having.

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I love popcorn as much as the next girl…

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A good movie and bucket of popcorn dripping in melted butter makes me happy. A popcorn engagement ring? Not so much….

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My engagement ring… bought after we were married because we like to do things backwards…reflects a 38 year old paycheck and while fine quality, it isn’t even a carat. So 3.66? Sure. Sign me up.

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But a diamond that’s shaped and colored like buttered popcorn?

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That’s a hard pass from me.

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Of food and turtles…

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It’s that time of year again.

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Rhubarb time. When everyone who grows the noxious plant tries desperately to pawn it off on unsuspecting strangers. This rarely works, but if you’re visiting Maine in June, be warned.

Our small town has a wonderfully inventive food bank and is supported by many of our organic farmers. You never know what they’ll whip up next.

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Lots of items are advertised for free around these parts.

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No free turtle? I’ll pass.

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Believe me when I say you don’t want this fellow nibbling on your toes.

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Amazon always brings it.

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I saw something interesting advertised on Facebook the other day.

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It’s some kind of fruit filled bubble that bursts when dropped in cocktails and I thought hey… that might be fun for the man cave bar. Until I saw they were $25 per plus tax… and $24.95 shipping. Undeterred, I sought them on Amazon.

While I was a bit disappointed they didn’t have the same brand, I was tickled by the imposter bubbles’ name.

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I might have to order them.

I mean really, who could resist?

🤣

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Let’s play!

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Because I have written proof some of you love these.

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I could say he left the top off the toothpaste or the toilet seat up, but that seems like an extreme reaction for such a small infraction.

Think I’ll go with one that’s bound to get him tossed to the curb, never mind his clothes ….

“He told me this dress does make my butt look big.”

So what do you think he did?

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A woodchuck kind of evening…

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Mowing and yard work done for the day, we retired to the barn porch for adult beverages.

Can you spot the baby woodchuck?

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He was seriously chill.

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There’s something very satisfying about spending the day beating your lawn and gardens into submission and then sitting back to enjoy the view.

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Which of course, included another baby woodchuck.

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Life is good.

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The perils of reviewing a book called Bonk.

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I should have known there would be a price to pay for excerpting passages from a book about sex.

I should have, but the flood of … how shall I say, related products… now polluting my screen is prodigious.

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Mothers Day gift anyone?

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Technically that’s not a sex toy, but the algorithm’s mind went there anyway.

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I really need to be more careful with my book reviewing.

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I’m beginning to think she didn’t really want a tree…

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Eight years ago the flowering pear tree we’d planted by the bird feeders when we moved to this house died. My late mother, who loved nothing more than sitting on the deck watching our fine feathered friends, told me we needed to replace that tree because the birds missed it. Sadly, she passed two months later… and because she wanted me to make the decision what to do with her ashes, I laid part of her to rest with a beautiful tulip tree in that very spot.

Unfortunately the tree wasn’t hardy enough for the rugged Maine winters and croaked two years later. As did the flowering dogwood we planted after that and the Rose of Sharon after that. Two years ago when our neighbor gave us a few river birches to plant in front of the man cave/barn, we transplanted a flowering plum to my mother’s spot. It did well, for two years.

But now….

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There it goes.

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Undeterred and very determined to give my mother the tree she wanted… we went to an extremely expensive nursery where I paid an astronomical sum for a flowering crabapple.

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It was a beautiful specimen. Tall and bursting with good health.

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So in it went, with my mother.

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My fingers and toes are crossed this one makes it more than two years.

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Because if this one dies, I’m really going to wonder if my mother is trying to tell me something.

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