Tag Archives: humor

A breath of fresh air.

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We had some lovely weather this weekend and it felt good to open the windows for the first time this year.

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As you can see….

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We weren’t the only ones who enjoyed the sunshine and warm breezes.

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Dudley, who so far has been an indoor only cat, got his first whiff of spring.

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And I do believe he’s hooked.

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He went from window to window and totally flipped out when he heard the birds he’s always cackling about.

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In our backyard, in April?

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That can get pretty noisy.

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Bastards!

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I, along with what is probably half of the WordPress blogging population, despise the new block editor.

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I refuse to use it and have happily switched back to classic every time I compose posts on my phone.

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On the app, it’s one easy click and bam! Back to the simple, no frills way to post I’ve enjoyed since the day I got here. And then it happened. While fritzing around on my phone and seeing 11 of my apps needed updating today…. I scrolled down to WP.

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Noooo! The WordPress team assured me I could keep my beloved classic if I chose… and now I feel betrayed. Needless to say I didn’t update the app, which may forestall the inevitable. But for someone like me who has photo heavy blogs and doesn’t want all the added headaches of blocks, this is a nightmare.

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I’m not! No matter how many times you try to shove them down my throat. And hey, if you like and want the new editor? Fine. Enjoy it with my compliments… but why can’t they leave the old option open for those of us who don’t? Happiness Engineers my ass.

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In the continuing series – River is a Pandemic Slacker….

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What have I done during the pandemic that can be considered constructive? Well… I’ve gained weight, tore the meniscus and damaged the MCL in my right knee, gained more weight, adopted a cat and drank my skyrocketing weight in alcohol. What haven’t I done?

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I haven’t written and published a cookbook with a lizard.

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But this woman did.

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And I think I’m going to have to buy it.

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Pandemic humor.

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Because we all need a laugh now and then.

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Wow. I might need to buy a new air conditioner.

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Don’t judge. It’s been a very long year..

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There’s a mental image for you!

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We do indeed.

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Rest assured, I will never be doing that.

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Technically that last one isn’t a pandemic meme. But if you’ve shopped for building materials lately… you know its pandemic related. Plywood has gone up about a million percent since last March. It’s insane!

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A little bird told me.

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The husband came home with yet another one of those free newspapers he picks up at the store every time he sees them. He really can’t help himself. But instead of the usual meaningless drivel, this publication had a few interesting factoids.

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A 15 inch flake? That’s almost as wide as Paris Hilton.

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We have Winnie to thank for OMG? Who knew.

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Well, alright then.

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I have no explanation for that whatsoever.

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And now my mind is truly blown.

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Someone thought this was a good idea.

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While at our local pub last week, a patron who was sitting on the other side of the bar bravely ordered this:

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Yes, you read that correctly. The beer was brewed with gummy bears. Why such an atrocity should take place I don’t know… but he laughed and gagged and promptly pushed the can back at the bartender who attempted to throw it away. I say attempted because you know my husband wasn’t going to let that happen.

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Yes, the beer was pink.

Yes, it tasted as horrible as you would imagine pink gummy bear beer would taste.

But you know what? The husband drank it anyway… because free beer is free beer.

🥴

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Art I most definitely do not need.

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One little picture of Dudley on Facebook. That’s all it took for the Catopia algorithm to switch into high gear. And today? Unfortunately it’s bathroom themed.

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Yikes.

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Not anymore, no. Although thanks to Covid and an injured knee…. there is a whole lot more of it.

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Wow.

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I’d say this poster is a little cheeky, but that’s a tad too on point.

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If Dudley wanders in and hands me the toilet paper? I’m totally ditching Facebook.

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Going out on a limb…. Part 3.

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You’re back! Even though your eyes hurt from rolling so far up in your head? I appreciate that. Try not to think of me differently, I’m still the same margarita swilling, rock obsessed, chicken loving  Mainiac (capital M thank you very much) you know and love. This is just another quirk to add to the list.

So that was strange experience number two. My reading with a psychic. It seems odd all these years later to even admit that out loud, but the simple act of rereading my blog from that time has lightened my heart again. If I took nothing else away from that weird and wonderful night it was the fact that our loved ones are never really gone.  I truly believe that now…. and it’s a great comfort.

So here’s my last episode of that spiritual adventure. The aftermath.

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I think I opened the floodgates….

Added: Wednesday, January 30th 2013 at 5:29am by rivergirl

Since my experience last Saturday, I’ve told a few close friends about the psychic I saw and how she made a believer out of me… if just for one night. I was a bit fearful of their reactions… expecting eye rolls and chuckles. But I swear it was like they were all waiting for that particular door to open so they could tell their stories.

It was completely bizarre…. A totally no nonsense conservative told me of visitations from his late mother. An old girlfriend I went to school with and thought I knew everything about, admitted she’s been seeing a psychic for 15 years. A down to earth grandmother of 7 told me about her numerous feelings of deja vu. A man that works with my husband, the most rigidly analytical mind in the office, brought these books for me to read and confessed he is a devout believer.

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s-l300

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I skimmed a few chapters of these and think this woman is a flake……but whatever. It was the thought that counts.

I guess what really struck me is most people don’t feel comfortable talking about this subject until they know you’re on board.

So… I’m putting it out there.

I told you of my mind blowing re-connection with my late father. Are any of you willing to share your other worldly experiences?

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I’d love to hear your stories… if you’re willing to share. And yes, I have a few more strange things in the archives. Experiences from time spent at my mother’s bedside during her last days in hospice. Maybe I’ll post those as well….

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Covid changes everything.

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The husband’s brother and nephew stopped by yesterday to check out the man cave. (They hadn’t been in the barn in years and were suitably impressed.) Of course we heard them coming from half a mile away because they drove in with the nephew’s new toy.

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His favorite past time is buying and restoring old cars and this one is looking pretty good so far.

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Although I can’t say the same for the nephew. Pre Covid pandemic? He looked like this…

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Now?

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He’s sporting a Grizzly Adams type beard. But he brought us a jar of homemade maple syrup….

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So I guess I can overlook a little ( lot! ) of facial hair.

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He and his family do it the old fashioned way, tapping 32 trees with metal buckets.

He even built an honest to God sap house.

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Where he boils. And boils. And boils…

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In case you’re wondering, it takes 40 gallons of sap to make 1 gallon of syrup. No wonder it’s so bloody expensive. ( Good stuff can go for $100 a gallon )

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Going out on a limb… Part 2.

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If you’re back this morning it must mean you want to know how my reading with the psychic went back in 2013. Funny, eight years later and I still have to pinch myself when I think about it. Roll your eyes, scoff, write me off as a nutcase… I don’t care. I would have done the same if I hadn’t experienced it myself. You know me…I’m a pragmatic chicka. A realist. There have only been a handful of things in my life I can’t explain…. and this was one of them. So jump aboard the crazy train and thank Swinged Cat  for opening up my archive with his request for sharing weird experiences.

My evening with spirits…. **Friends only**

 January 29th 2013 at 9:47am by rivergirl

I’m not sure I know where to begin.

And if I start rambling, please forgive me…it was a very emotional experience.

The psychic was a lovely woman who made me feel completely at ease. There was no incense, no crystal ball, just a table and the prerequisite box of tissues. She instructed me at the beginning of the session not to volunteer any information. Only to acknowledge or negate what she said. So for all you skeptics, there was no way she was pulling details of my life from me since all I said for an entire hour was yes or no.

I have to say it felt surreal. The moment we started she told me there was a man, who she felt was my father, waiting for me. I won’t go into all the details since none of you knew him….suffice it to say she had him down cold. There was nothing she related that wasn’t completely accurate. She had his personality, his job, his appearance, his love for my mother, his wartime experience, his poor health, his dry sense of humor, his love of the sea. She saw him surrounded by books, artist’s brushes, animals and gardens. She spoke of his grief over the loss of his brother when he was young, of his regrets in not being able to watch me grow up, his sense of duty towards his widowed mother and awful sister.

(And let me tell you…she had her down pat also. My hateful aunt who the psychic called spoiled, entitled and bitter. Fittingly, she is as alone in death as she was in life. Nice to know you really do reap what you sow. 👍)

I think the most amazing thing I came away from this experience with was the knowledge that our loved ones are always with us. My father said he was glad I had found a good man who loved me. That we were secure financially, that we were happy. He knew my husband had been in uniform and was older than I. He spoke of the big building project we had undertaken (the barn!) and how well we worked together as a team. He said he had been worried for me in my early teenage years right after he died because I, how shall we say….ran a little wild. (Which I totally did!) He said he appreciated the fact that I care for my mother… and to please have patience with her… as he had to, for she is not a strong woman.

The psychic told me of my father being there the night of the Marine Corps ball and how lovely he thought I looked in my dress. Of how proud he was of me for finding my own voice after so many years of being a shy wallflower. (Yeah….I know, hard to believe but at one time I was.) He wanted me to know that our beloved beagle Hiram was beside him now as he had been in life….which made the animal lover in me rejoice. He told me to lead the life I wanted to lead…that it is the regrets we take with us. And even though I never felt neglected as a child, his biggest regret was that he worked too hard and too long and didn’t spend enough time with my mother and me. He spoke of many little childhood memories I had all but forgotten. He spoke of the grief he carried over the loss of my brothers and sister. (My mother had multiple miscarriages early in their marriage) As I said…it was surreal.

Though I did choke up a few times….I didn’t babble. Which is surprising because even after all these years, I can’t often speak of my father without crying. I think I might have been too stunned for tears. My jaw was probably hanging open half the time because even though this was exactly what I had hoped for…part of me didn’t believe it could really happen. I’d happily crossed over into the Twilight Zone… and no one could have been more surprised. But aside from the other worldly vibe? The over all feeling of the evening was peace.

And love….above all, love.

For 35 years I have missed my father…. and wished over and over again that he could have shared my life as a teenager, as a young woman, as an adult. And now, the most remarkable thing I realized?

 He has.

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