Tag Archives: humor

More pandemic chuckles.

 

Because if you don’t laugh, you’ll scream.

 

 

That’s the very definition of symmetry.

 

 

I can relate to this.

My bags are lonely… as well as heartbroken.

 

 

I’m not a religious person, but first plague…. now insects.

It’s mildly convincing, but I’m still holding out for water into wine.

 

 

Finally,

A protest I can get behind.

 

 

Well that’s depressing.

 

 

Because the answer to “what’s new?” has never been more boring.

Because you can’t say no to free trees.

 

In an effort to beautify his farm, our neighbor grew 100 silver birch trees. He planted a row of them  (54!)  alongside the road and I must say…. they’ll look impressive in a few years.

Next thing we knew he was planting them down his driveway, on the next door neighbor’s property and along the road on the other side of the street.

Not wanting to be left out, I asked if we could buy 3 to put in front of our big barn.

 

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He said no.

But that he would be over the next day to give us three and plant them.

We love our neighbors.

 

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This half dead flowering plum will have to go.

 

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Spring was late in coming this year, and while our lawn is still trying to recover from some mid May snow and frost and doesn’t look it’s best yet, I had to laugh at the husband’s reaction to having parts of it disturbed.

 

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You know that man in your neighborhood who’s constantly outside raking, picking up twigs, and screaming “Get off my lawn!” at children? That’s my husband. He’s been known to mow the same patch of grass 3 times in one day.

 

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And yes, I bought him that shirt.

I think watching our neighbor tear up and fling the soil around was physically painful for him.

 

 

 

 

But he endured with stoic silence.

 

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And we all got in on the act.

 

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Say no to free trees?

 

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Score!!!

 

Making a grocery run with the husband looks a little different these days…

 

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As does his idea of the word essentials.

 

 

But the real news of the day?

This:

 

 

We found two of the most elusive items in Maine. Flour and toilet paper!!!

Now I can say I know how a crack whore feels after a fix.

Well, maybe not exactly how.

But still…

 

 

We found these precious jewels at an out of the way, generic name grocery store in the back country.

And no, I’m not telling you where.

 

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You know your bush is too big when…..

 

Relax.

This is a G rated post.

I’m speaking of  a yew bush in front of our home office window.

It’s large, unruly and was in need of a pruning. Problem was, I couldn’t reach most of it from outside so……

 

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I hung out the window and did a little hedge trimming from the inside.

 

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This results in an utter mess and small green needles everywhere.

But what’s a girl to do when her bush needs trimming?

 

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There.

That’s better.

How big is big?

 

Big is a relative term.

I think my butt is big, but then I look at J Lo and Beyoncé and feel positively svelte.

So in an attempt to answer the title question..

 

 

Yes, traffic lights are that big…. which makes your go to excuse of “But I didn’t see that red light officer” a trifle lame.

Moose are this big.

 

 

This might surprise people who don’t live in Maine or Alaska, but yes. Hit one with your car and you’ll find out just how freakishly gigantic they really are.

The pyramids?

Yup.

Pretty big.

 

 

And to be honest, this picture made me cross climbing to the top of one off my travel bucket list.

And finally, for Masercot. Who has never fully gotten on board the wombat bandwagon.

There’s wombat big.

 

 

Big and beautiful.

Yes sir.

They got that right.