Tag Archives: humor

Uncategorized

Let’s play.

46 Comments

.

It’s less embarrassing than an enema, but only just.

.

.

I have a long list of bonehead moves but my most recent was a few years back. I’d pulled into a bank’s ATM machine… it was next to their drive thru window and on top of a short hill. For whatever reason, I wasn’t paying attention and when I realized I was too far away to reach the machine I opened my door, dropped my card and leaned out to retrieve it….

Without putting the car in park.

On a hill.

Not my brightest move.

Gravity is indeed a fickle b*tch… because the car went rolling, and so did I. Fell right out of the car on my knees and was dragged alongside it until I managed to reach in and push the brake. Unfortunately not before the left front fender slid along the concrete barrier and went crunch.

The drive thru teller saw the whole thing and half the bank emptied out in the parking lot to make sure I was okay. Other than a ripped knee on my jeans, the only thing hurt was my pride because I felt like a right royal idiot.

As soon as I got home the local police called and made me go downtown to fill out an accident report. When the officer asked what happened… I told him I had a blonde moment.

A moment that cost me over $1,800 in body work.

Duh.

Now you.

Share your stupidity!

.

Uncategorized

And then there were three.

19 Comments

.

My third and final easy to assemble coffee table arrived yesterday.

.

.

With what seemed like 50 cubic yards of styrofoam snow.

.

.

Seriously, the stuff flew everywhere and has been nearly impossible to eradicate.

.

.

I was sweeping and vacuuming like mad trying to keep ahead of it.

.

.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten was inconvenienced…

.

.

And did not appreciate his favorite perch being turned upside down.

.

.

Legs, shelf and trim pieces attached during a Red Sox game …

.

.

And viola.

.

.

Another Mission style table completes the set.

.

.

😊

.

Uncategorized

Subtlety is not his strong suit…

15 Comments

.

Lord Dudley Mountcatten enjoys licking the cream residue from my husband’s morning coffee and makes no secret of this fact.

.

.

From the moment my spouse pours his first cup, he has a captive audience.

.

.

Since His Lordship doesn’t want the actual coffee, my husband has to drink the first cup more rapidly than he’d like.

.

.

And is stared down with anticipation during the process.

.

.

Cats.

They want what they want.

.

Uncategorized

If you only read one story about the Olympics, let it be this one.

23 Comments

.

I love watching the Olympics and rooting for our athletes. The highs, the lows, the victories, the heartbreaks… I’m hooked. I’ve watched gymnastics, swimming, synchronized diving, beach volleyball and cycling and enjoyed them all. But apparently I should have been watching the pole vaulting competition because something happened there you don’t see every day.

.

.

Yes, you read that correctly.

.

.

.

.

He may have lost his chance at a medal, but something tells me Anthony’s Tinder profile is going to be breaking records of its own.

🤣

.

Uncategorized

Twice the work, none of the fun.

22 Comments

.

I lost track of the husband the other day and found him outside, in the process of moving stone.

.

.

This is the stone veneer he had the delivery driver drop at the far end of our property instead of closer to the front porch of the house as it should have been.

.

.

I suggested loading it in the truck and driving it over to the garage in sections to save time (not to mention his back) but as usual, he wanted to do it the hard way and moved it piece by heavy *ss piece to the barn porch so it would be off his lawn.

.

.

While he hauled stone?

I picked up the styrofoam, cardboard and straps it was packaged in.

.

.

And there was a lot of that.

.

.

55 sections of stone, roughly 20 pounds each. Back and forth across the lawn… for hours, in the afternoon sun.

.

.

Did I mention my husband is 77 years old?

.

.

I swear the man is a marvel.

He never quits.

.

.

Now I just have to hope the barn porch doesn’t collapse from the weight before he can move it over to the house…

🥴

.

Uncategorized

Let’s play.

43 Comments

.

Because we don’t play enough these days.

.

.

My husband and I are very different people who have different likes and styles. We were raised differently, in different types of families with different backgrounds in different eras. And while most of our differences compliment each other and enhance our strength as a couple… there are times when the differences can rub up against my last nerve.

( I’m sure he can say the same, but hey… this is my blog. 😉 )

I was born an only child of older parents. They were quiet, well educated people who rarely watched television. Our home was peaceful. My husband had 8 siblings, an alcoholic father and a volatile upbringing. It was anything but peaceful.

I’m a reader. I like quiet.

My husband is a tv watcher. He likes noise.

So much so, that he turns the damn thing on and leaves the room with it blaring away. And mind you, he doesn’t just leave the room… at times he leaves the house and our property altogether. The man will turn on the tv, and then go get gas, or go out to breakfast… with the tv still on.

It’s a little thing in the grand scheme of life… but it drives me nuts.

Turn. Off. The. Television!

How about you?

What does your significant other do that drives you crazy….

.

Uncategorized

A nice meal and a cow.

19 Comments

.

After walking around the clam festival for a few hours we were hungry, but not for fried clams. Seems counter intuitive, I know… but the stomach wants what the stomach wants.

.

.

We drove to the next town, Falmouth… and found one of our favorite spots positively deserted.

.

.

Having no problem finding a seat at the bar I sampled a Melano Fizz. This consisted of cucumber-infused vodka, melon liqueur, italicus apertivo, simple syrup, and fresh lime juice.

In a word? Yum.

.

.

My go to appetizer here is the crab arancini.

Husband went with the lobster bisque …

.

.

Which was lovely and loaded with lobster but served in one of those ridiculously small bowls made to look large.

.

.

Toddy number two was the hibiscus berry sangria.

.

.

Nice, but not nearly flavorful enough for me.

.

.

My meal was a wonderful carbonara with fresh pasta and grilled chicken. It was so good I paid no attention to my husband’s meal and failed to photograph it. My bad.

On our drive home?

.

.

Cow!

.

.

Cow, on a rock…

Who didn’t appreciate her meal being interrupted by the paparazzi.

😉

.

Uncategorized

This is the part where I cringe…

27 Comments

.

Along with all the other things that are being replaced on the porch? You can add the front door. It’s original to the house and has been leaking cold air in the winter ever since we moved in. It’s shifted, barely closes properly and requires me taping it shut every December so the wind doesn’t whistle its way in.

A new door is necessary but that doesn’t mean I want my husband in charge of its replacement. He’s the king of gerry rigging and that’s not going to fly here. I wanted to wait and have a contractor to do it… he says he needs to do it now before he installs the stone siding.

So this is where I get nervous.

.

.

Storm door removal?

Fine.

.

.

Protective glass covering the side panel removal?

Fine.

.

.

But then we moved indoors where the new floor was recently installed.

In order to replace a door you need rough opening measurements… and this means removing the moulding.

.

.

My husband’s track record with this task is not good.

.

.

But thankfully he managed the job without splintering anything.

.

.

I know he’s going to faint when we go door shopping because it will have to be a special order.

Ka-Ching.

This paycheck sucking project never ends.

🥴

.

Uncategorized

Easy is a relative term.

13 Comments

.

We purchased a product for our front porch remodel called Versawrap. They’re PVC covers for wooden support poles that add a decorative element as well as eliminate the need for paint.

We discovered their easy to install claim was a misnomer when we wrapped our first pole… but when we moved along to the top and bottom moulding?

We realized it was an outright lie.

.

.

Easy my *ss.

.

.

There are teeny tiny dovetail inserts which hold the pieces together and trust me, they are not easy to seat.

.

.

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you it took us over an hour to place the first crown moulding section.

.

.

If three sides clicked? The fourth would not.

If four sides clicked? It wouldn’t stay in place.

.

.

Frustration was the word of the day.

.

.

Two sets of moulding for each pole.

Four poles.

This is not my idea of a good time.

.