Tag Archives: maine

You’re never too old to learn…. Ukulele

 

It’s that time again.

 

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This week’s class:

Ukulele Extravaganza, Beginner

For many years the happy instrument so closely associated with Hawaii has been experiencing a huge revival around the world. Here is your chance to take part in the ukulele revolution. Folks of all adult ages will enjoy playing this very cool but accessible instrument. In this class students will learn to read music and play songs by picking and strumming. No prior musical experience is necessary. The instructor taught instrumental music at the Middle School from 1986-2017 and after taking a leave of absence to study music therapy at Arizona State University in 2008, she fell in love with playing the ukulele! She studies ukulele with master luthier/performer/teacher, Joel Eckhaus in South Portland, the Hawaiian masters at the Aloha Music Camp in Hawaii, and at the Ukulele Summit in Bethesda, Maryland.

Again…  this is a real part of the curriculum.

And yes, you too can learn to play the Ukulele and be the envy of all your friends.

 

 

So let’s break this down:

How have I missed the huge Ukulele revival?

What have I been doing….

 

 

Okay, sure.

But the Ukulele revolution?

 I wasn’t that busy…

 

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Well, maybe.

Although calling the Ukulele a cool instrument may be stretching the truth a bit.

 

 

But if you want to  drive your immediate social circle to drink and get yourself crossed off every guest list from now on  be a hit at parties, give Maine continuing education a try.

 

 

Classes start Mon, Sept 17, 6-7 PM, for 9 weeks

$59 non refundable.

You’re never to old to learn…. Potatoes.

 

In my continuing effort to enlighten…

Let’s dive a little deeper into continuing education.

 

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Last week’s spoon bending was a hit,  You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

And while this week’s class may be a little Maine-centric…. isn’t that half the fun?

So grab your taters and let’s go to school.

 

 

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Spud Night – I’ve Got My Eyes on You!

If you are a Mainer (or from away) who is stuck in a potato rut, you will want to join us! We will learn how to choose the correct potato variety for use, see and taste many grown varieties and taste Roasted Fingerling potatoes. The class will make Swiss Rosti Potatoes, warm German Potato salad and Sweet Potato Puree with Smoked Paprika. The evening will be both demonstration and hands on. Bring a peeler and sealed tubs to take home leftovers (if there are any!)

$10 material fee included. No discounts

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Again, yes. This is real.

There is actually a course on potatoes.

 

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And admit it, you’re stuck in a potato rut.

We all are.

Hell, even Mr. Potato Head needs an update now and then.

 

 

Look how downright creepy he started out.

 

 

Would you let your child on the playground with that moustache twirling tater?

Of course not, so grab your peeler and get to class.

Thurs, Oct 25, 6-9 PM

1 Session

 

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And then there was (more) beer… Part 2.

 

Our second brewery of the day was a place that came highly recommended. It got great reviews, and was said to be a “must visit”…so we did.

 

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Oxbow is a larger organization with multiple locations and wider distribution, so I was expecting it to outshine Odd Alewives.

It didn’t.

 

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Tucked away in the woods of Newcastle, it was rustic and a little bit rednecky.

 

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Well, I didn’t hear banjo music…

But the place was a bit of a mess.

 

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And the rest rooms?

 

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Not what a girl wants to see when she’s been drinking beer and riding a motorcycle all day.

 

 

But, we were there.

And there was beer, so we  didn’t have to but I made them  had to try it all.

 

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Eight 4 ounce samplers of dishwater later… I still hadn’t found one I  would order full sized.  How was that possible?

The one on the end was called Magenta and was made with… are you ready?… grape juice.

 

 

It smelled like sweet grape candy and tasted like  fermented pigs feet, sour piss, rotted muskrat carcass  I don’t know what.

But trust me, it was bad.

I ended up finishing everyone’s samplers, because bad or not… beer is a terrible thing to waste…. but I was thinking of alternate uses as I drank.

 

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And then, since our friends had a long ride home, we saddled up and headed out.

 

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And bad beer aside…

It really was a lovely day.

 

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And then there was beer…. Part 1.

 

We love craft beer, and we love discovering quirky new breweries. It’s a rapidly growing industry in Maine and we tend to take full advantage.

 

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First stop on Sunday was Odd Alewives in Waldoboro.

An alewife is a fish.

 

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And thankfully, there weren’t any in the beer.

This was a brand new, small batch brewery run out of a renovated 1850’s barn on a young couple’s farm.

 

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It was literally on their front lawn.

 

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And absolutely not motorcycle friendly.  A steep gravel  (not good!)  driveway and a sloping parking lot is not what 2 wheels and 850lbs wants to find.

 

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But the brewery was wonderful, with a lovely laid back vibe.

 

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And the tasting room/bar was fun.

 

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Of course my purist husband looked like this….

 

 

When he saw they had painted the old barn board floors….

 

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But after a few samplings, he got over it.

 

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We did flights and tried all they had on tap before choosing.

 

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The Buzz and Blue were delightfully light and refreshing, while the Spell was deep and full bodied.

 

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There was live folk music, and it really felt like you were just hanging at a friend’s house knocking back a few. I wanted to take my beer and walk around the farm gardens…. but I was out voted and we moved on to brewery #2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

All work and no play….

 

Yeah, to hell with that.

Sunday found us blowing off some steam on 2 wheels.

 

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We headed up the coast with some friends for a little scenery…

(And a lot of craft beer.)

First stop was East Boothbay and one of the best coastal roads around. There were a few too many tourists to make a great video… but you get the idea.

 

 

It really is a beautiful spot.

 

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(Did I mention there was beer?)

Our friends are new Maine residents, so they really enjoyed the tour.

 

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(And the beer)

Boothbay is oceanfront living at it’s best.

 

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And it was perfect weather for riding.

(Not to mention beer)

 

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Next up?

Beer.

 

Dear unknown artist….

 

I live in Maine.

And I’m a Red Sox fan.

(Note to out of staters – this is non negotiable. Yankee fans will be shot on sight.)

But this?

Towering over me as I ate dinner the other night?

Not cool.

 

 

I’m guessing subtlety isn’t your strong suit….

But let me leave you with just one word:

Proportion.

Yours truly,

The unfortunate diner who sat in the shadow of these Sasquatch sized mammary glands for far too long.

You can’t make this stuff up…..

 

Yes, this is really happening.

 

 

Animal rights organization PETA said Wednesday it had asked the Maine Department of Transportation (DOT) for permission to build a “roadside memorial” along Route 1 near the site of an Aug. 22 crash in Brunswick involving a truck carrying live lobster.

On Aug. 22, a Cozy Harbor Seafood Inc. truck transporting an estimated 7,000 lobsters packaged in 60-70 crates rolled over along Route 1 in Brunswick, sending many of the live crustaceans into the road and ditch. Police said hydroplaning likely caused the crash.

(Click the link to view the carnage)

All lobsters were removed from the scene and many were deemed no longer sellable.

“Countless sensitive crustaceans experienced an agonizing death when this truck rolled over and their bodies came crashing down onto the highway,” said PETA Executive VP Tracy Reiman. “PETA hopes to pay tribute to these individuals who didn’t want to die with a memorial urging people to help prevent future lobster suffering.”

 

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Ummm….
Does PETA realize where those lobsters were headed?
News flash –
It wasn’t Club Med.
The five foot tall tombstone memorial proposal was shot down and denied by the Maine DOT this afternoon.
You can’t make this stuff up.
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You’re never too old to learn…. Spoons.

 

I love my state, I really do.

Maine has beautiful scenery, clean air, quaint villages, a huge craft beer industry and lobster I can’t eat….

 

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But we also have a thirst for knowledge.

And classes for almost everything… as proved by the local continuing education brochure I received last week.

 

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(There’s an ass on the cover named Jack Cass, you know it’s going to be good.)

Alongside the normal foreign language and computer courses there are some Maine-centric things like boat captaining and crossbow hunting, but I’m going to focus on the odd. The funny. And the downright bizarre.

 There are too many seriously wackadoodle choices for one blog, so it’s going to be a weekly series until I run out of ridiculousness. Let’s begin.

Class #1 :

Quantum Spoonbending.

Yes, you read that correctly. The description is as follows…

“What is the value of this spoon bending class? If, with very little training, you can easily bend a spoon that you could not easily bend before (if at all), then you can begin to see how powerful you actually are! Learn to access the subtle energy field that surrounds us all. The metal softening mechanisms you will learn in this class are actually quantum mechanics techniques you can transfer to enhance your daily life. This is the same energy field ancient and new age healers are accessing to perform healings and miracles. You will learn and practice several different techniques that will not only allow you to bend spoons, but allow you to experience inducing other changes in material reality. Learn how healers have been able to mend broken bones instantaneously and see how it might be possible for you to perform miracles in your own life. There is a $10 materials fee payable to the instructor at the start of class. No discounts.”

Let’s break this down –

1) Do I need a spoon to realize how powerful I really am?

Doubtful.

 

 

2) Transferable techniques to enhance my daily life.

Really?

 

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(Sorry, I couldn’t resist)

3)  If it’s the same process people are using to perform healing and miracles… why would I be happy just bending a damned spoon?

 

 

4)  A $10 material fee with no discounts.

   But… but…

What if I bring my own spoon?

 

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Classes start  Nov. 7th  6-8:30

Duration 3 weeks.

Now they’re just screwing with me.

 

I live in Maine, land of the lobster I can no longer eat.

 

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It’s a cruel twist of fate which came about 7 years ago. I’d eaten that glorious, butter dripping crustacean all my life and loved every scrumptious bite…. until my traitorous body woke up one day and said no more.

No more lobster chowder, no more lobster rolls, no more lobster pie…. hell they hadn’t even invented lobster mac and cheese yet so I missed that too, damn it!  (I’ll spare you the details of what happens if I eat it now, just think Linda Blair in the Exorcist and leave it at that.)

It’s not easy being lobster allergic in Maine, the damned things are everywhere.

On our license plates…

 

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At every biker rally we attend…

 

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See?

 

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That’s me… cursing everyone for eating  lobster when I can’t …. not sitting at the table.

Hell, we even have a festival devoted to the creature.

 

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They crown a queen who leads the parade with King Neptune.

 

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Everyone eats lobster.

Except me.

 

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(I can’t attend anymore. The husband says drool isn’t my best feature)

Yes, we take our lobster seriously up here and I’ve  railed against fate, banged my head against the wall, invented new swear words   learned to live without it.

So why?

Why does that damned bottom dwelling bug continue to screw with me?

Yesterday… this showed up in our local grocery stores.

 

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And if that’s not bad enough…

A friend sent me this card.

 

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Now that’s just…  wrong.