Tag Archives: barn

Babies can be annoying.

 

Let’s face it, there’s going to be a weekly baby barn update for the duration of the deconstruction/construction.

Which, at this point…. I figure will end sometime between  Jesus, isn’t it done yet?  and   If I have to pry one more splinter out of my hand, I’ll shoot myself in the head and call it good.

Walls.

 

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If you’re an immigrant during this administration? Not Good.

 

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If you’re a rotting baby barn circa 1974?  Very good.

 

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Here’s a pic of the husband using his vintage (what feels like 50lb) saw.

You’ll notice he’s hunched over and applying pressure. That’s because the damn thing shimmies like a tilt a whirl on crack and might fly apart if you don’t.

 

 

Walls.

 

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They’re a good thing. But sometimes…

 

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You see where I’m going with this?

 

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From the outside all looks well.

 

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From the inside, things went a little squirrelly on the right.

Crooked?

 

little bit

 

Do we care?

We do not.

 

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Do we wait for the wife to bring the dust pan during clean up?

 

 

So, another weekend done.

Another section framed and ready for siding.

 

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Did I mention that the husband’s plan of starting at the halfway point on the front and working his way around makes it look a bit odd?

 

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Rather like a schizophrenic.

Perhaps I shall name her Sybil….

This is not what you want to find when rebuilding….

 

Our old baby barn/shed has a dirt floor with heavy duty rubber mats on top. Due to numerous woodchuck holes and tunnels, we had to drag all the mats out. That sounded easy enough until I realized each one of them weighed the equivalent of an African elephant…

 

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Seriously.

A pregnant, morbidly obese African elephant carrying a suitcase I packed for an overnight trip.

 

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Did I mention they were all covered in pounds of dirt as well?

 

 

So as we’re moving the next to last mat…..

 

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This.

 

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A chipmunk burrow with tiny scraps of paper, plastic and leaves.

Upon further examination…

 

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A maze of tunnels, which I thought was pretty cool, until… it moved.

 

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Do you see the leg?

 

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Yeah.

 

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Not a tunnel.

A nursery…

 

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Which means we had to find the other end of the tunnel and relocate them. Not an easy task.

Five minutes after we found them?

Momma found us.

 

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And she wasn’t happy.

She ran around squawking and chirping and looking for her babies.

 

 

After a while I think she found them, because she stopped searching and started stuffing.

Stuffing her little cheek pouches full of all those little scraps of paper….

 

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And scurrying back for more.

Within minutes she’d cleaned up the whole lot.

Watch her cram a dried leaf that’s almost bigger than she is below.

(And please pardon my husband’s cursing. Things were not going well with the rebuild at this point…)

 

 

After we wasted time relocating chipmunks, we realized we had to relocate a bird’s nest as well.

 

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So many evictions.

I felt like an evil slumlord.

 

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Back to work…. and things did not go well.

Which was completely the husband’s fault.

 

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He had the crazy idea he could square the building properly  (After 40 plus years of Maine frost heaves? Madness!)  and changed the original footprint….. which in turn threw everything off kilter.

More good times.

 

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Did I mention he uses tools from the 1950’s picked up at a yard sale or the dump?

This little jewel feels like it weighs 50 lbs.

 

But he has the original box… and vintage lube.

So it’s special.

 

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P.S.  For those of you who pay attention, this post is actually out of sequence. That back wall is gone now. Apparently my blog scheduling has run amok.

 

 

 

And so it goes….

 

Work on the baby barn continues, albeit slowly.

 

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My husband’s master plan involves a serious amount of temporary screwing, refitting, removing and replacing. He’s not a huge fan of measuring… but he’s a man.

This is not surprising.

 

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Of course this means 3 times as much work.

 

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I think one planned demolition and rebuild would suffice…. but I’m a woman.

What do I know?

 

 

There’s also a good deal of shifting the husband’s  crap we don’t need now, nor will we ever need again   stuff from one place to another. Like the hurricane generator we bought in 1992 when we lived down south and haven’t used since.

 

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Or the wheel weights for the tractor we no longer own.

 

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Or the numerous tires for the cars we no longer own.

 

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Or the table that went with the chairs we no longer own….

 

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Right beside the small refrigerator I had no earthly idea we owned.

All of these things are heavy and filthy and must be moved over and over again because he can’t be convinced to throw them out.

Good times.

 

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There was hammering.

 

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And crowbar-ing …. and yes. A good deal of cursing because the structure is 45 years old and not exactly plumb.

There was also a good deal of displaced dirt.

 

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Thanks to numerous woodchuck tunnels…

 

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Which undermined our attempt to simply re-side and re-shingle the damned thing.

 

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Now we have to completely dig up the hard packed floor and smooth it all out.

 

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Doesn’t that sound like fun?

 

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Things I don’t like today… Part 3

 

I don’t like….

Weed wacking around one of our stone walls and having a frog jump out in front of me.

I swear I didn’t see him…

 

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And literally cut him in half.

*Gulp*

 

I don’t like…..

Sitting at a bar and having a creepy disembodied head on a stick tied to a doll stare at me all night.

 

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Like I need another reason to drink?

Ack!

 

I don’t like….

Being disappointed.

Remember when I posted about the miracle of my husband cleaning out the garage, and how the old sink he brought home from the dump was gone?

 

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Yeah. I found it in the barn.

Very disappointing.

And finally,

 

I don’t like….

Pressure.

 

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Since my husband can’t decide when he’s going to retire, he’s forbidden any travel this year so he can sell back his leave.

Doesn’t he realize I’m duty bound to blog our adventures?

Damn it…

Now someone will beat to me to it!

 

So…. this is happening.

 

You may remember me posting pictures of our little red barn/shed.

We use it as a shed, but it was originally a small barn complete with horse. The horse is long gone…. and 40 odd years later?

The barn/shed is almost gone as well.

 

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Falling apart?

You could say that…

 

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Rotted wood?

 

 

The mere fact that it’s still standing never ceases to amaze me.

 

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It’s horrible. An eye sore on our otherwise lovely property. The bane of my existence for a long, long time.

It’s state of disrepair is the main reason we spent $50,000 and 7 years of nights and weekends building a new and much larger barn.

 

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The plan? All the mowers and weed whackers, the snow blower, the tractor and assorted yard tools that were in the shed/barn were supposed to go into the new barn…. and the eyesore would be torn down.

 

 

But that never happened, and now the husband….. who has already filled the new barn with CRAP wants to rebuild the shed/barn to continue housing the mowers, tractor etc.

So this is happening.

 

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Husband deemed part of the interior framing sound, and started what I thought was deconstruction of the back half…. which needs to be completely rebuilt..

Now my idea of deconstruction consists of ripping off the roof, then the walls. The husband’s?

I’m not quite sure.

 

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He put up a new piece of wood…

 

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Ostensibly to brace the roof… though why you need to brace something you’re tearing down is beyond me.

 

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But look at the piece he’s bracing! Rotted doesn’t begin to describe it…

Then…

 

 

Yeah. He trimmed it…

The rotted piece of wood.

 

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He sawed off a section of wall… by hand, even though the chainsaw was right there.

 

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And made a bigger hole.

 

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He elongated the brace….

 

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And added wood running along the bottom.

 

 

He was supposed to be tearing it down…. so WTH?

Naturally I had to ask.

And naturally, he wouldn’t answer.

It was hot, he was cranky and I dared to question his technique.

Silly me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My only question is… why?

 

I never know what I’ll find in my husband’s barn.

The other day? I found this hanging on the wall….

 

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After I was through shuddering, I named it Creepy Baby.

Because, it’s a baby. And it’s creepy. I swear it’s eyes follow me around the room, and you know that never ends well.

I also saw this perched on the window sill.

 

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Yes….

 

 

It is what you think it is.

 

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The question is….

 

 

As a decorative item, it leaves a lot to be desired.

 

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And I can only hope the mechanism used to make it go boom isn’t in there as well.

But with my husband?

You never know.

 

 

 

 

Things I don’t like today… chapter 2.

 

I don’t like…

 

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Going out to the barn for something and finding the husband has bought another…. yeah, whatever the hell that is.

It’s a good thing he has a fold up cot in there. He might be needing it.

 

I don’t like….

Going  out to the barn for something, and not being able to find it because the husband has too much  rusty old useless crap  treasure stacked in there. And I really don’t like having some of that crap fall on my still sore, recently broken, now permanently out of whack toe.

 

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Yeah.

Another month of not wearing a shoe. Good times…

 

I don’t like…

Getting out of my car after driving to the store and finding I’d committed Monarchacide.

 

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Poor little beauty.

I didn’t see you…. honestly.

 

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And finally,

I don’t like….

 

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Unicorn onesies for adults.

Come on….

 

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I say, that’s who.

I will not have a good time cleaning and organizing my house in a unicorn onesie.

Good God, what’s wrong with people?

That’s what tequila is for.