Tag Archives: barn

The (not so) free pool table finally sees some use.

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So the free pool table… the one that has cost us approximately $14,000 ( and counting ) in storage barn to man cave renovations… actually saw some action last weekend.

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Two of the husband’s coworkers came by for the afternoon (no worries, all 3 men are fully vaccinated) for Cajun gumbo, beer and pool. I don’t play, so I know my other half was happy. And me? I was happy because I received another bar christening gift.

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I’d never even heard of this whiskey but it turned out to have a pleasing toasted undertone.

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After two games of pool, it was determined the table needed to go from horizontal placement to vertical to allow more shooting space.

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Which then required multiple leveling maneuvers. Turns out the barn floor is not at all level. Shocking, I know.

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Play continued into the night, as did the whiskey drinking and strange reflections from the overhead lighting.

A good time was had by all… and let me tell you, it was nice to host even two people after a year of no socializing with friends.

😊

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Recent additions to the Barn Mahal.

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After thoroughly whipping my other half in a marathon Scrabble session in the barn last weekend, I took a good look around.

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And realized what an amazing storage building filled with absolute crap ….

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To seriously alcoholcentric man cave transformation we had wrought.

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Yay us.

And to this glorious rustic palace of play? I added a few new things.

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Because if there was ever a more perfect place for my fully operational spastic poop drone… I don’t know where it could be.

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To the bar, I added an acrylic box of appropriately themed cocktail napkins.

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Each more true than the last.

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Alongside the napkins there are now swizzle sticks.

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Some are shaped like twigs in honor of their origin.

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And some are shaped like jazz hands… because it’s just delightfully creepy.

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And since no man cave with a bar should be without them?

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Hair spray and a comb to repair follicle damage the walk from our wind blown house wreaks on my unruly tresses.

And if you’re cringing over that addition gentlemen?

Viola!

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I also added a plant.

Granted, it’s a just small succulent…. but I believe my eventual takeover of the premises is progressing quite nicely.

😈

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So attractive.

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After a nightmarish week of battling Direct TV customer service and their bots, an hour long phone conversation with “Susie” from Bangalore, an hour and a half long conversation with “Susie’s” supervisor “Jimmy” from New Delhi, one service call from a technician who said he was given the wrong work order, a second visit from a technician who said we didn’t need a separate dish on the barn roof after all, a 40 minute long conversation with “Elaine” from Mumbai in which I told her I wasn’t paying an extra $100 for something that should be free, and a third visit from a technician who finally hooked up a mini receiver in the man cave ….

Can you see it?

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I hope not.

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But it’s there.

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An extremely long cable connecting the satellite dish on our house to the barn.

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Because someone…who shall remain nameless but answers to ‘Hey Marine’…. just had to have a television with a full program line up with DVR capability in his man cave.

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In Maine, lines don’t get buried until spring…. which means I’ll either trip over it and break my neck in the meantime, or the red squirrel bitch from Hell will chew through it when seeking revenge.

Good times.

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Did I mention I had to spend another 35 minutes online with a chatbot when Direct TV charged me twice for the same service call and then added a $9 monthly protection plan to my bill that I didn’t approve? Ever since AT&T took them over it’s been a horror show.

😡

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And then there was a television.

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Next up in the Barn Mahal remodel was the addition of a 50 inch flat screen on a swiveling wall mount .

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Husband laid out all the pieces and parts….

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While I laid out snacks and a beef stew with crusty French bread I’d cooked to bribe a friend for installation assistance.

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The thoughtful friend even brought me a bar christening gift. I love those.

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Installation started well… and then as is wont to happen whenever we work in the man cave… it went straight downhill.

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Nothing lined up as it should, so a little force majeure was needed.

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When they thought it was mounted properly, they carried the television over…

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Only to realize the mount was upside down.

Oops.

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When that error was corrected?

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They dropped two weird sized screws (not sold on planet Earth) which promptly rolled into the floor cracks.

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After I took pity and found them both…. mounting continued. Leveling the tv was easier said than done.

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And though the bracket was perfectly centered between the booze shelves on the left and the WWII propaganda posters on the right…. they didn’t take the swiveling arm into account, so when it’s flush against the wall as it needs to be to allow access to the bar?

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It’s too far to the left… which will drive me crazy for years to come because the husband says he’s not moving it.

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Oh, well. It’s mounted and seems to be secure.

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Now I need to schedule an appointment for Direct TV to come install another what do you mean the barn is too far from the house to run off the same satellite dish. I was really hoping that wouldn’t be necessary but they assure me it is.

Ka Ching!

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Love was in the air.

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A rather tardy Valentines Day post.

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A bouquet of flowers was delivered that morning….

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And while I don’t think it was our local florist’s best work, the sentiment remained steadfast.

Early afternoon found us out in the barn and back at the Scrabble board.

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Although the way it started reminded me a little too much of Bill and Monica.

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Did I win?

Such a silly question.

Unbeknownst to my husband, I’d made early evening reservations at one of his favorite restaurants and before the place got too crowded, we slipped in for a glorious meal.

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Long stemmed red roses were given to ladies upon entry… and petals were scattered everywhere. On the floor, on the window sills, on the chairs…..

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Even under the beer taps.

We settled happily at the bar (the husband’s preferred spot because one of the bartenders was a Marine which can lead to hours long conversations) and I tucked into a few delightful Rum Punches. We had appetizers that I forgot to photograph… garlic Parmesan wings for the husband, creamy clam chowder for me… and were awaiting our meals when this older couple sat down across from us.

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In case you can’t see it, the man was wearing a Marine Corps tee shirt. It was at that moment I knew I was doomed.

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Like recognizes like… and within minutes the gentleman uttered the words I never want to hear on Valentines Day.

Semper Fi.

My husband bought them a round of drinks. They bought us a round of drinks. Military stories were traded across the bar….and by the time our lovely meals arrived?

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Filet Oscar with fresh lobster, roasted fingerling potatoes and grilled asparagus for the husband.

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Filet au Poivre with cremini mushroom brandied cream sauce, roasted fingerling potatoes and grilled asparagus for me…

I’d lost him.

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And ended up eating most of my meal alone.

So when I said love was in the air?

Apparently I was talking about the Corps.

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Look who’s back.

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I went out to the mailbox the other day, battling a fierce wind and falling snow, and saw paw prints. This isn’t unusual at our house, critters visit on a daily basis. But when I came back in the house and heard a cry outside, I knew.

The lovely stray cat we’d taken in, fallen in love with and then had to return to his owners? Was back.

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He was soaking wet, shivering and skittish…. but I managed to lure him into the barn with a bowl of food.

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The poor little guy. What the hell! Why was he out in the cold again?

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After two full tins of Fancy Feast, he jumped up on the pool table….

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And took a bath with the heat blowing straight on him.

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I left him warm, fed and comfortable…. and headed into the house to call his owner and rip her a new one.

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One not so polite phone call later she showed up with a carrier and swore she made a vet appointment for him to be neutered next week and has done her best to keep him in the house. But she also told me her husband opened the bedroom window a crack and the cat escaped. (Open window, with no screen, in Maine, in February? Not likely) She said he’d only been gone for an hour but our house is over a mile away so I doubt that too.

I swear if we hadn’t adopted Dudley…. I would have just kept him this time.

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The tiles don’t lie.

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My weekly skunking of the husband at Scrabble in the Barn Mahal continues. And now? Even the tiles are getting in on the fun…

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Yes, those were really the letters I drew. And it’s pretty much what I did to the husband in game number one.

Not to be out done, our second game’s tiles had their say as well.

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My last four letters said it all.

Sorry, dear. I only do what the tiles tell me…

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Miscellaneous minutiae.

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Required picture of new family member Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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And yes, I have to report that Ball Wash is back.

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And speaking of hanging, the other day the husband and I were out in the barn and I wanted to play an album. This is not as easy as you might think…. considering the husband put the stereo as close to the ceiling as humanly possible.

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Vinyl could get interesting after a few toddies. Stay tuned.

And finally, birds. In winter. In Maine.

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I’m guessing it kind of sucks.

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I had to.

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While cleaning out my husband’s junk drawer the other day (yes we all have them, but his had reached the point of overflow and wouldn’t shut… so intervention was necessary) I found a treasure.

Buried under the detritus of old coin wrappers, matchbook covers and dozens of scraps of paper with nameless phone numbers was this:

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Wow.

That’s my much younger husband on the right (wearing an outfit I’ve thankfully never seen him sporting) next to his cousin Cindy. Why this cringe worthy photo hadn’t previously surfaced in our 37 years of wedded bliss is a mystery…. but I’m guessing it’s a picture he wasn’t very fond of.

And that my friends is where he went wrong. Hate the photo? Get rid of it…. because if you don’t, your wife might post it on Facebook and then prominently display it in your man cave.

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So many glasses.

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When we travel and drink, the husband likes to get a glass from the bars and restaurants he’s enjoyed. Since we used to do this quite often… we’ve amassed a large collection of glasses. Some of them are in the house but most of them have migrated out to the barn. And though we’ve stuffed the freezer compartment of the beer fridge with frosty ready to fill receptacles….

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There was still a large portion waiting for a home.

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And a whole lotta paper destined for the fireplace.

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Sadly the husband’s aborted little two foot shelves don’t offer much useable space.

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And once the double tap kegerator is installed things will be even tighter.

Roy Scheider was right.

We should have built a bigger bar.

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