Tag Archives: barn

Random drivel.

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Autumn is here and it’s by far my favorite time of year. Crisp air, brightly colored foliage, pumpkins, apples… what’s not to love?

Of course if you’re my husband, who just spent countless thousands turning his barn into a man cave, you might not fully embrace the season.

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Because nothing says ‘private domain of men’ more than a strategically placed fall wreath.

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And speaking of turning leaves….

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Ours are just beginning to put on a show. It’s the season I starting twitching for a road trip to the mountains. Whether that will happen is still up for debate.

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Weren’t expecting that?

Neither was I, but it popped up on my FB feed all the same.

🥴

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A photo of Lord Dudley Mountcatten meeting my new toy. He was not impressed, but I am.

Since blowing out my knee last year, getting on all fours to scrub the kitchen floor has been a no no. Enter the Bissell steam mop. Cheap and surprisingly efficient.

How well did it clean the floor?

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So well that I literally gasped at how filthy it had become.

In my defense, I mopped right after a rain storm and had to erase an artful array of the husband’s muddy boot prints, but still.

😬

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Right and wrong.

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Most of the time my Facebook ads get it wrong.

I don’t need ball wash soap or help with a bigger orgasm. I also don’t need ball hammock underwear, yet the hits just keep on coming. The latest is Halloween themed… and so very, very wrong.

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Do I need to see Frankenstein gettin’ his freak on? I most certainly do not.

But every once in a while, the algorithm hits a bit closer to the mark.

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And horrible grammatical translation aside, at least this one includes alcohol….with undertones of barn bar which we all know is near and dear to my heart.

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Planning is key.

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I went outside Saturday morning and found my husband had started putting sealant on the barn porch.

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I used to do this every 2-3 years but since blowing out my knee last fall, the job fell to him this time.

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He enlisted a friend to help and they were hard at it all morning.

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I made them a nice lasagna lunch, cleaned up the kitchen and went out later in the afternoon to check the progress.

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Things were rolling along fine until the end.

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When my husbands superior planning skills were fully evident.

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🤣

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It’s official..

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Hooray!

We are now officially a two keg family.

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Yes, I finally chose a beer to tap. Naturally it was the most expensive one out there at literally twice the price of my husband’s.

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But look how much more fabulous my tap handle is.

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Duchesse de Bourgogne…. a richly textured sour red Flemish ale with a chocolate top note and wild cherry undertone. Brewed in Belgium and aged in oak barrels for 18 months, it’s pure heaven!

And the husband hates it so it’s mine. All mine.

*cue the evil laugh*

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Look at this handle. I mean really, it doesn’t get much better than that.

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Except for the fact mine towers over the husband’s. That’s pretty sweet as well.

👍

And in case you’re wondering…

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OSHA who…?

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My husband finally fixed two of the three leaking gutters he put up a while back. Although gerry rigged would be a more apt description.

The repairs involved rolled metal sheeting and so much cursing I disappeared into the house for most of it. But when I went to check the progress on the barn a few hours later….

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I marveled at the non OSHA approved stabilizing device he had employed.

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Extension ladder in fear of falling over?

Tie it to a post.

🥴

When that repair was complete, he moved onto the section of leaking gutter on the garage and gathered his tools.

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When I followed him over and saw a section of tree limb was involved? I did what any self respecting spouse would do… and went back in the house.

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A new look.

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The Barn Mahal has undergone many transformations in recent years… from crap filled storage building to man cave extraordinaire being but one.

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And along the way…. the porch my husband didn’t want, the one he bitched about building but now loves because yes, I am always right…. has changed looks as well. When the siding was untouched natural wood?

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The old barn red furniture cushions were fine. But when the barn turned red?

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The cushion color needed to change as well. And if you remember… chipmunks, red squirrels, woodchucks and birds helped make the decision to recover a bit easier.

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So off to the seamstress they went… because no. River don’t sew.

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I’m quite pleased with how they turned out. And am hoping the critters give me at least a year or two before they tear these to shreds.

🥴

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Damn her!

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Last weekend we invited the husband’s 4 sisters who live in Maine to a barbecue/pool tournament/behold the majesty of the Barn Mahal man cave/ party. It was a good time… except for one dastardly deed. You see one of his sisters brought this:

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After I specifically said we were grilling filet mignon… she had the audacity to contribute to the feast.

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A dozen lobsters, fresh from the ocean that morning. Damn her rotten black soul!

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I had to watch those succulent creatures being disbanded…

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Dropped in the pot…. ( Only 2 inches of water please. We steam, not boil )

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Covered with a lid ( And a brick. They tend to buck when dying. Hell, wouldn’t you? )

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Oh, the horror!

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The horror of watching everyone tuck into the delightful crustaceans I can no longer eat.

It was Hell. Pure, unadulterated Hell.

😫😫😫

The only pleasure I took was not being able to find our crackers and picks. Substitutions had to be made.

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Good thing the tool box was close by.

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The husband was schooled at the pool table by two of his sisters, which I thought was fitting punishment for consuming and enjoying lobster in front of his now allergic wife.

But once the party was over, the mess cleaned up and everyone went home… what was almost worse than watching everyone eat them?

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Seeing the two leftover red beauties every time I opened the fridge the next day and knowing I couldn’t make a lobster roll.

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Hell, I tell you.

It was Hell.

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One brave baby.

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One brave little chucker ventured out from under the barn to have a nosh with his mother.

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Okay, he stayed quite close to momma…

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But he’s still the only one we’ve seen out in the open.

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They’re silly critters at this age.

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And he was having a blast scampering all over the rock wall.

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There’s a big wide world out there to explore little guy….

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Enjoy!

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Down on the farm.

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It had been a while since we visited our farming neighbors across the road, so the other day we took a walk.

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Unfortunately they weren’t home, but we took the time to check out what was happening on their farm. There’s something about strolling through verdant fields of crops that just makes me smile.

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Every time we visit there’s something new.

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This time it was a veritable village of greenhouses.

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These seemingly sprung up overnight, with full irrigation… which must have been quite a feat.

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A house addition was under way as well.

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Why was there a skeleton prominently displayed on the barn wall? It’s probably better if we don’t ask.

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Ugh. I suppose a row of kale was inevitable.

🤢

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There’s our Barn Mahal/man cave in the background.

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We never realize how much it dominates the landscape until we see it from far away. Oops.

☺️

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On our way out we had to stop by the farm stand they opened when Covid shut down most of their markets.

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And naturally we came home with a few things.

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Lettuce, spinach, potatoes and blueberry yogurt. You can’t get much fresher than that.

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I blamed the wrong critter.

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Ever since we painted the barn/man cave the perfect shade of red, I’ve been sputtering about recovering the porch furniture because now… it clashes.

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I recently bought some color coordinated fabric and found a local woman who’s going to do the job.

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Me… sew? Yeah, that’s not happening. So while I was waiting for the seamstress to tell me she was done with prom and wedding dress alterations, I saw this:

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WTH?

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The edges of all the cushions had been shredded!

I ranted, I blamed woodchucks. I cursed, I blamed mice. I sputtered, I blamed chipmunks. But guess what?

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The real culprit..

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Was a bird looking for nesting material.

Mother Nature. She has all manner of ways to drive you crazy.

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