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Because we all need a little chortle now and then.
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I hear ya sister.
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This is a brilliant idea.
I shall be cc’ing the CDC immediately.
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That’s pretty much been our last 10 months. You?
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Rode hard and put away wet.
Yup.
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This is almost too true to be funny.
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Wish that happened when I tried it.
Though I do firmly believe in sanitizing from the inside out when it comes to tequila….
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Facebook ads. They’re never ending and annoying and I pay them very little mind.
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Yes, I like Hint water… but don’t need to see daily videos.
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And yes, those are some sweet shades I could easily see myself rocking next summer, but they don’t need to join the other 15 pairs I never wear in my junk drawer.
While I realize these ads are targeted to me specifically based on algorithms of my search history, every once in a while they surprise me.
As this one did the other day:
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Not being in possession of a pair, I assure you I have never actively searched for ball wash.
Trust me on this.
Of course since it popped up, I had to click. For research/ blog fodder purposes only you understand.
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Don’t be whack, GIVE A SACK.
There’s an ad slogan designed to burrow deep into your frontal cortex.
And while I admit I chortled over this, I’m not chortling now. Because you know what happens when you click on a Facebook ball wash product ad?
This:
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And this:
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I am now being inundated with less than helpful product placement.
Man meat.
What have I done!
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Because my knee still hurts and I’m bored.
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Mine are as follows:
🍸 🙄 😉 🍷 😳 😈
It shouldn’t surprise anyone that martini holds the top spot, with eye roll right behind.
That’s where I live.
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A blogging milestone was reached by yours truly recently.
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Although I’m not sure recognition was necessary.
Now if they had a banner that said, Congratulations on posting copious amounts of useless drivel people inexplicably continue to read I could understand it.
I mean really, celebrating this post –
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Where I wax poetic about meatless meat and utterly wrong rice seems a trifle excessive.
But who am I to argue with the WordPress gods?
I’ve been here since July of 2018 and have thoroughly enjoyed the experience. If the powers that be choose to recognize my productivity? Who am I to argue.
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Yup. That’s me.
If you can’t dazzle them with content, flood them with redundancy.
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And the ridiculous things they post on their Facebook page.
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Must float didn’t seem too much to ask… which is why some smart ass posted this photo:
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I love smart asses.
In other news, coyotes.
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We hear them all the time. It’s quite eerie…
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Free roosters are the one and only free item I can’t talk my husband into.
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Hoe downing squirrels are nothing to take lightly, trust me on this.
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Chicken theft.
The world really has gone crazy.
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I saw an article the other day about all the amazing things people are doing with the spare time the pandemic shutdowns are providing them.
Some were worth while.
Others?
You decide.
Did Rufus McToofus need his very own adirondack chair to celebrate accordingly?
Probably not.
That’s so special it hurts.
Just…. wow.
What do you suppose those ducks are posting on social media? Can someone please investigate and report back. I’d hate for those ducks to have a more interesting blog than mine.
Finally….
A worthy use of time.
Go ahead, laugh.
It’s better than the alternative.
Have you ever wondered how it will feel when we eventually (hopefully!) get back to normal?
I’m not sure I ever want a stranger closer than 6 feet again.
This could be a real problem if Aunt Jemima products are going to disappear…
I totally need that mask.
Yeah, we kind of do.
Well that goes without saying.
Personally, I’d prefer 2 continents.
One day only!
Better hurry.
It’s all about priorities.
And finally for my horoscope loving readers….
I also love all the ridiculous things people post about on its Facebook page.
In case you were wondering, no one volunteered to remove the stinky little bugger and he was released.
Skunk-1
Homeowner-0.
A reasonable response, but hell.
I didn’t even know we had a potato truck!
I showed this to the husband…. but he said there’s no room in the barn.
😡
I don’t know…
Cowbusters?
I hate when someone beats me to the perfect comment, don’t you?
A chicken plucker!
I’m shivering in avian sympathy.
I’m shamefully reposting this from our town’s Facebook page because it captures the dynamic perfectly.
Want to find out who the idiots are in your community?
Join your town’s “Friends and Family” or local group page. The gossips, the curmudgeons, the do gooders, the righteously offended…. they’re all actively posting and making asses out of themselves on a regular basis.
Read on and tell me you don’t recognize a few of these people.
QUESTION:
How many Facebook group members does it take to change a light bulb?
ANSWER:
1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.
17 purists who use candles and are offended by light bulb discussions.
6 to argue over whether it’s ‘lightbulb’ or ‘light bulb’.
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid.
22 to tell THOSE 6 to stop being a***holes.
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is ‘lamp’.
15 know-it-alls who claim that they were in the industry and that ‘light bulb’ is perfectly correct.
49 to post memes and GIFs (several are of Michael Jackson eating popcorn with the words added: “I’m just here for the comments.”)
19 to post that this page is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a light bulb page.
11 to defend the posting to this page saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant here.
24 to discuss the merits of LED/swirly fluorescent light bulbs
44 to claim LED and fluorescent bulbs will kill you.
12 to post the letter “F”.
8 to ask what F means.
7 to post ‘Following’ despite the 3 dots at the top right that mean you don’t have to.
3 to say “can’t share”.
2 to reply “can’t share from a closed group”.
36 people to post photos of their own light bulbs.
15 people to post “I can’t see S$%^!” and use their own light bulbs.
6 to report the post or privately message an admin/moderator because someone said “f÷×$”
4 to say “Didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”.
13 to say “Do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”.
1 to bring politics into the discussion by adding that (insert politician of choice) isn’t the brightest bulb. This usually takes place within the first three comments.
50 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
3 to state sanctimoniously that this is supposed to be a friendly Facebook group and that all of this petty nonsense is a result of people abandoning courtesy.
5 admins to ban the posters who were insulting.
3 who come up with a conspiracy theory about light bulbs which either involves them catching Coronavirus or that they will fry their brains.
1 late arrival to comment on the original post 6 months later and start it all over again.
Because we’re still stuck in it and still trying to laugh.
Definitely not a Baskin and Robbins flavor I’m going to embrace.
Well, there wasn’t any Charmin on the grocery store shelf this week…..
I’m game.
While this isn’t necessarily pandemic related, it still holds true.
Who’s with me?
