Out of state searching.

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I thought we’d decided on the leather chairs for the barn we’d seen the day before and were heading down to NH to purchase them, but I was wrong. For a man who claims to hate shopping, it amazed me how many different furniture stores my husband wanted to visit. Day 2? We spent 5 hours driving and 5 hours fruitlessly searching. Granted there were some truly horrible choices.

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White pleather power recliner with LED lighted cup holders?

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That’s a hard no.

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As were these fake snake skin monstrosities. We spent over an hour wandering around one store only to have my husband give up on chairs and focus on the handmade tables crafted entirely from reclaimed wine barrels on the way out.

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And yes, of course he bought one.

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This chair? Goldilocks deemed it too shiny.

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This chair? God help me, he said it was too “crunchy”. I was ready to throw in the towel and live with an empty man cave corner when… after 11 hours of plunking his posterior in at least 40 chairs over the course of 2 days…. he decided he wanted to go back to Jordans and buy the very first chair we saw.

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So that’s what we did. But the first salesman in Maine had neglected to tell us was the New Hampshire warehouse didn’t stock them and we’d have to wait a month or so for them to come in. Grrr. But order them we did, from the NH store (no tax!) and we received a 10% military discount. We also removed the delivery fee by agreeing to pick them up ourselves. Total savings? $630. Was it worth the aggravation? The jury’s still out on that one.

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I spoke too soon.

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Remember the new litter I purchased … the one I knew was going to cure Dudley’s habit of flinging it outside the box?

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It didn’t. Granted, the amount flung was lessened, but it still escaped the confines of his toilet receptacle and I was less than pleased. Time to consult the experts.

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I’m the boss? Clearly they haven’t met Lord Dudley Mountcatten.

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I started with a big box on day one, but it wasn’t high sided. Then I tried a big box that was high sided but used the old clay litter. So back to the big high sided Hefty tote with the new litter I went.

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Interesting. Putting more litter in a flinger’s box does seem counterintuitive, but I tried it.

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And viola! He has room to move and ample product to cover his deposits. It’s been a week… and there have been no issues. No flinging whatsoever. Needless to say I’m thrilled! Dudley, on the other hand, doesn’t know what the fuss was all about.

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But to be honest, even if he did…. he probably wouldn’t care.

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Going out on a limb ….part 5.

I’m just going to keep putting these out here until I run out. If you’re reading them and seeing me differently, so be it. I’m finding it quite cathartic…. and as Bon Jovi says, It’s My Life.

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Weird experience #5, another from my days in the hospice with my  late mother.

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The Crash.

Added: Wednesday, July 9th 2014 at 5:25am by rivergirl

As I said before, I brought a lot of pictures to my mothers hospice room. I hung them on the walls, taped them to the nightstand and tucked them in the tv screen. I wanted to surround her with love and happy memories.

There were many of me and my husband, and our pets and special times we had shared with my mother….

The nurses and staff loved it. They told me it lets them meet their patients in a different way, which considering the never ending sadness they deal with… I thought was very touching.

Most of the pictures were mine, but there were 3 framed photographs that had hung on my mother’s walls for 50 years… so I brought them too.

Here they are:

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Momma & her father

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My mother and her father on Jones Beach.

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My mother and father on their wedding day at the Stork Club.

And this one:

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A very old photo of my mother, in her 20’s, and her first love… Frank.

He was much older and very wealthy. He introduced a young, naive girl born to Austrian immigrant parents who lived in a cold water tenement flat…. to a world of art, culture and high society. They were together for many years, but never married. In 1957 he broke it off and introduced her to a junior partner in his firm….my father. They were married a year later.

I grew up knowing all about Frank. It was no secret she loved him and it in no way diminished the love she felt for my father. First love is first love. It never bothered me.

Now fast forward 50 odd years and her daughter is sitting alone with her in a hospice room waiting for the end. I cried. All day, all night, on and off for days.

During the first afternoon, I was sitting on the rock hard couch thinking about her life, my life and everything in between. I thought about my dad. About how much he loved her and what a good marriage they had.

And then I heard a crash.

The picture of my mom and Frank had fallen off the wall.  It fell face down on the floor and the glass was smashed to bits.

No one had slammed a door, no one had knocked the wall from the next room. There was no seismic shock or tremor that rattled the building. No airplane flew too low and shook the windows. It just crashed.While all the other pictures stayed right where they were.

Apparently while my mother loving Frank didn’t bother me….it clearly bothered my dad. And he told me so in no uncertain terms.

The photo stayed face down on a side table until I brought it home after she passed.

Call it coincidence if you want….

But I know better.

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You’ve got to be kidding.

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Lord Dudley Mountcatten has been a finicky eater. When it comes to canned food he won’t eat fish. He won’t eat anything grilled or in pieces. No meaty morsels, no shreds. Nothing with cheesy bites or creamy sauce. The little bugger won’t even eat tuna FFS. It took me a solid month of trying every brand under the sun… from cheap to ridiculously expensive…. to find one kind he liked.

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It’s the only brand and variety he’ll eat every single time. So you know what that means….. it’s now virtually impossible to find. In person or online, and believe me I’ve tried. Oh, I could buy it on eBay.

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Yes, you read that correctly. Apparently it’s still being made but there’s a disruption in the supply chain which is making it scarce…. so the price gougers are in full swing. Amazon?

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A little better, but still outrageous. Sorry Dudley… you may have to learn to like bologna.

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The search begins.

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The weather is getting warmer and that means the barn porch furniture needs to migrate from the man cave to its outdoor home.

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Which is going to leave a big hole in the room. Solution? Two manly leather club chairs and a table. Unfortunately this meant prolonged shopping excursions with the husband. And trust me… when it comes to picky, women have nothing on my other half. When we need new furniture, I usually do the scouting and narrow it down to 3 choices. Anything more than that overloads his senses. So imagine my unmitigated horror surprise when he suggested we make a day of it.

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Yes, that’s close.

Off we went down to Portland. First stop was Jordan’s furniture which is a truly massive multi level store. They had a nice selection of leather but nothing pleased the husband.

This was the first chair we saw and I thought it was perfect.

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The husband liked it, but wanted to keep looking.

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This chair? Too saggy.

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This chair? Too deep.

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This chair? Too small. Store after store after store and he didn’t like anything.

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Now don’t get me wrong, it’s a big purchase and I want him to be happy but after visiting 8 stores over the course of 6 hours, Goldilocks still wasn’t satisfied.

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The first chair had my vote and I lobbied hard. Nice grade of leather, perfect size, good color, and firm cushions. Husband wanted another look, so back to Jordan’s we went. He gave it a second test drive and agreed it was the best we’d found. I thought we were done and gave silent thanks to all the Gods I don’t believe in. Shiva, you rock!

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I positively swooned when the husband had a salesman print out an estimate thinking the ordeal was over…. but when my spouse found out their warehouse was in NH and there would be a $150 charge to deliver the chairs to Maine? He said we would drive to NH the following day. Five hours on the road, in his old 8 foot bed Ford pickup just to save $150. It will probably cost us that in gas.

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To be continued.

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Required weekly Dudley photos.

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Because he’s simply too photogenic not to share.

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Dudley likes to play with balls, and basically any round thing that rolls.

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Including raspberries his human drops on the floor.

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He also likes to stretch….

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And then runs out of energy before getting back in his original position. He sleeps like this all the time.

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While his takeover of the house is pretty much complete, from the look of this photo…. I fear the television might be next.

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I love my town.

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Maine is a quirky place filled with quirky people…. and I’m very glad my town has its fair share.

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If you’ve seen her runaway hubcap? Please contact this woman immediately, she’s clearly distraught.

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A lasagna garden bed? I must be doing it wrong.

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Manure wars. This could get messy…. not to mention pungent.

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Proud to say this is our neighbor.

👍

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I don’t know who this man is, but if he wants a tasty red squirrel in his pot this year… I believe I may be able to help.

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Perfume with a sense of humor.

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My box of crazy French perfume samples came today.

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And the company seemed pretty sure of themselves.

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I’m not sure I actually need my perfume to rebel, but whatever.

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The first one I tried….

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Was definitely…. different. I know people who would like this scent, but it was too heavily spiced and cloying for me.

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Medicinal camphor, incense and prunes. What’s not love?

😳

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The litter war.

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It’s a little too early to call, but by God I think may have just won the war.

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Thank you Exquisicat micro crystals. Maybe now the litter box graveyard in the basement can stop multiplying.

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This miracle product came highly recommended by a friend as being dust free, light weight and soft on kitty’s paws.

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Upon installation, Dudley gave it his usual glance of disdain.

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But I read you can transition by topping the new crystals with the old clay, so I tried that.

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He was still less than thrilled….

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But has done his business for the past few days with no scattering, no flinging, no dust and no mess.

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And from a human point of view, not having to chisel pee mortar from the bottom of the box is beyond victory… it’s positively orgasmic.

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