Tag Archives: perfume

Say it isn’t so!!!!

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Have you ever fallen head over heels in love with a perfume? Become so completely enamored with it that you’ve worn it since the first day it was released? I did, way back in 1986 when Prescriptives (a sister company to Clinique) released Calyx.

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Energizing and audacious, the classic, acclaimed fragrance of Calyx is crisp, green, and ideal for the fragrance connoisseur who appreciates the unique and distinctive. Notes: Grapefruit, Mandarin, Passion Fruit, Mango, Papaya, Freesia, Muguet, Neroli, Lily, Jasmine, Oakmoss, Sandalwood, Vetiver.

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What on earth is a Calyx? Well, I’m glad you asked.

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Anywho…. this has been my signature fragrance for 35 years and while I love to try other scents, I always have a bottle of my favorite waiting in the wings.

Enter 2021, another shit show of a year where Covid is thriving but my beloved perfume will cease to exist. Yes, to my utter and absolute horror I discovered the company has halted production… and River is not a happy camper.

My second reaction…. after screaming Noooo! at the top of my lungs?

Amazon.

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Thankfully I found some at a very reasonable price and ordered 3 bottles. But after they arrived I thought hmm… better get a few more just to be safe.

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But damn it! The price gouging had already begun.

I paid $45 for 1.7 Oz …. now it’s $249 for half an ounce.

And a few days later?

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Holy Hell!

I love it…. but not that much.

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Weird perfume review #3.

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I was looking forward to trying this particular scent as it’s one of the company’s best sellers.

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And as usual, the reviews/comments made me chuckle.

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But when I sprayed a little on my arm… I almost choked. The first undertones to hit my nose? A bizarre combination of moldy books, burnt plastic and powdered sugar. Imagine a bakery in an abandoned industrial warehouse. Donuts infused with hot welding shards and burnt rubber. Yes, it was that bad.

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It definitely smelled metallic, like a vanilla drive shaft.

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Mix in some dried grass (vetyver) and a touch of gum resin (opoponax) and the result was downright disgusting. I can honestly say I’ve never washed a perfume off my body before… but I couldn’t stand more than 10 minutes of this one before I attacked my arm with a soapy loofah.

If I didn’t know better I’d say this scent was meant as a gag gift. With the emphasis on gag. 🤢

Self respecting fat electricians around the globe should be insulted.

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Things I like today.

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I like flipping through magazines and finding cocktail recipes.

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Mmm…. this sounds refreshing. Needless to say I shall be adjusting the required alcohol amounts. 3 tbsps of gin? Bitch, please.

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I like finding a decent cat food Lord Dudley Mountcatten will actually eat.

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Three ingredients, you can’t beat that.

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In other news, I like cheese.

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Tell me you haven’t felt the same way. Go ahead… I dare you.

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If you’ve never tried Mrs. Meyer’s cleaning products you really should. Their scents are marvelous. Basil, geranium, honeysuckle, bluebell and the latest… fresh mown grass. Ooh la la! If it wasn’t so soapy I swear I’d use it as perfume.

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And finally, I like Dudley’s laissez faire attitude when it comes to dining. If the human puts your dinner in front of you when you’re lying down? Why bother getting up….

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Weird perfume review #2

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Perfume sample #2 from my box of sarcastic scents is Divin’ Enfant.

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Enfant is French for child, and after one whiff I’m betting Divin’ means divine… because that’s exactly what it is.

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Fabulous…. in a delightfully odd way. Crisp and light, with a spicy almost honeyed base and just a hint of baby powder. I don’t know who wrote the description, but I smell neither leather or cold tobacco.

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But I understand the angel demon reference. This scent is both sweet and sultry.

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I honestly don’t smell the orange or peach, more like a rich creamy vanilla…. but either way, the #2 sample is rich, multi layered, long lasting and getting a definite thumbs up from me.

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Perfume with a sense of humor.

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My box of crazy French perfume samples came today.

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And the company seemed pretty sure of themselves.

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I’m not sure I actually need my perfume to rebel, but whatever.

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The first one I tried….

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Was definitely…. different. I know people who would like this scent, but it was too heavily spiced and cloying for me.

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Medicinal camphor, incense and prunes. What’s not love?

😳

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I had to.

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I mean really, how could I not?

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I broke down and ordered a sampler pack of perfume from a French company that takes themselves as seriously as I do. In other words, not at all.

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They embrace the bad reviews of their products and even use them in their advertising campaigns.

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And since I value a sense of humor above all else, I can’t imagine I’ll be disappointed. But don’t for a minute think is a gimmick. They don’t exactly give their stuff away.

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I Am Trash is one of their most popular fragrances. A revolting name, but an interesting idea.

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The ultimate in recycling. And as long as stray dogs don’t start following me down the street? It should be fun trying.

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Products no one needs.

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My only question is why anyone makes these things in the first place.

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I prefer my clams in chowder with heavy cream thank you very much.

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Oh, hell no. I can only drink if the BeeGees are playing?

Trust me, if the BeeGees are playing…. I’ll need more not less.

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I’m sorry, but they don’t. Less really is more.

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While this is rather cute? It’s also a great way to take out an eye. Weaponized mallows are over the top, even for me.

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No. Aside from the fact the packaging seems to be marketed for 6 year old girls…

I refuse to wear a perfume named Juicy Bunny on sheer principle.

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Random drivel I have to share.

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For all my pun loving friends..

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Egg yolks…. they don’t always crack you up.

This next one literally made me snort.

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Admit it, you want one.

Or six.

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We passed this little cutie the other day on a back road.

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Perfume…. that smells like gin?

When I have a few too many I tend to spill it on myself. Think of all the time that will save.

And finally…

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Oh sweet Jesus, no.

First kale killed the dinosaurs… and now my tomato wants a piece of me?

Stop the world. I want to get off.

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I like…

 

I like

The sign a friend of mine saw while on vacation in Barbados last week.

 

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I don’t like –

That she was in Barbados and I was not.

 

 

I like

Jo Malone’s line of products.

Check them out.

 

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I don’t like –

Her price tags  ($35 for a bar of soap? For that price, I want someone to wash me with it. Preferably Bradley Cooper or Johnny Depp)  which is why I buy the itty bitty sampler bottles.

 

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$155 on the site, slightly less on Amazon… if you can find them.

No one around here sells Jo Malone and I’m not buying a full bottle until I test it.

But they rock!

Trust me on this…

 

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(See how I snuck a Game of Thrones reference in there?)

I like

The sound of this drink for summer.

 

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I don’t like –

The idea of walking around with a blue tongue all night.

(Or day, who are we kidding?)

 

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I like

The tee shirt I found the other day.

 

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I don’t like –

The fact that there are only 4 more episodes of Thrones left.

 

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Sigh.