Tag Archives: perfume

Because sometimes you do get what you paid for… and then some.

January 16, 2023 Rivergirl 30 Comments

Years ago I had a wonderful little purse size green bottle of perfume with a funky top. It was a lightly herbal, somewhat floral refreshing scent. Naturally I couldn’t remember the name of it, but I knew it wasn’t expensive so I went shopping on Amazon just on the off chance I’d see it.

Green, funky top, inexpensive…needing a new small bottle for my purse, I thought that could be it and ordered one.

I was wrong.

So very wrong. The stupid thing towers above every other bottle I own and is most definitely not purse sized.

Here it is next to a bottle of Chanel for scale. I’m sure it’s my fault for not noting the size when I bought it, but damn. Now I’m stuck with what seems like a gallon.

Uncategorized

Say it isn’t so!!!!

August 18, 2021 Rivergirl 32 Comments

Have you ever fallen head over heels in love with a perfume? Become so completely enamored with it that you’ve worn it since the first day it was released? I did, way back in 1986 when Prescriptives (a sister company to Clinique) released Calyx.

Energizing and audacious, the classic, acclaimed fragrance of Calyx is crisp, green, and ideal for the fragrance connoisseur who appreciates the unique and distinctive. Notes: Grapefruit, Mandarin, Passion Fruit, Mango, Papaya, Freesia, Muguet, Neroli, Lily, Jasmine, Oakmoss, Sandalwood, Vetiver.

What on earth is a Calyx? Well, I’m glad you asked.

Anywho…. this has been my signature fragrance for 35 years and while I love to try other scents, I always have a bottle of my favorite waiting in the wings.

Enter 2021, another shit show of a year where Covid is thriving but my beloved perfume will cease to exist. Yes, to my utter and absolute horror I discovered the company has halted production… and River is not a happy camper.

My second reaction…. after screaming Noooo! at the top of my lungs?

Amazon.

Thankfully I found some at a very reasonable price and ordered 3 bottles. But after they arrived I thought hmm… better get a few more just to be safe.

But damn it! The price gouging had already begun.

I paid $45 for 1.7 Oz …. now it’s $249 for half an ounce.

And a few days later?

Holy Hell!

I love it…. but not that much.

Uncategorized

Weird perfume review #3.

May 18, 2021 Rivergirl 8 Comments

I was looking forward to trying this particular scent as it’s one of the company’s best sellers.

And as usual, the reviews/comments made me chuckle.

But when I sprayed a little on my arm… I almost choked. The first undertones to hit my nose? A bizarre combination of moldy books, burnt plastic and powdered sugar. Imagine a bakery in an abandoned industrial warehouse. Donuts infused with hot welding shards and burnt rubber. Yes, it was that bad.

It definitely smelled metallic, like a vanilla drive shaft.

Mix in some dried grass (vetyver) and a touch of gum resin (opoponax) and the result was downright disgusting. I can honestly say I’ve never washed a perfume off my body before… but I couldn’t stand more than 10 minutes of this one before I attacked my arm with a soapy loofah.

If I didn’t know better I’d say this scent was meant as a gag gift. With the emphasis on gag. 🤢

Self respecting fat electricians around the globe should be insulted.

Uncategorized

Things I like today.

May 6, 2021 Rivergirl 23 Comments

I like flipping through magazines and finding cocktail recipes.

Mmm…. this sounds refreshing. Needless to say I shall be adjusting the required alcohol amounts. 3 tbsps of gin? Bitch, please.

I like finding a decent cat food Lord Dudley Mountcatten will actually eat.

Three ingredients, you can’t beat that.

In other news, I like cheese.

Tell me you haven’t felt the same way. Go ahead… I dare you.

If you’ve never tried Mrs. Meyer’s cleaning products you really should. Their scents are marvelous. Basil, geranium, honeysuckle, bluebell and the latest… fresh mown grass. Ooh la la! If it wasn’t so soapy I swear I’d use it as perfume.

And finally, I like Dudley’s laissez faire attitude when it comes to dining. If the human puts your dinner in front of you when you’re lying down? Why bother getting up….

Uncategorized

Weird perfume review #2

May 3, 2021 Rivergirl 11 Comments

Perfume sample #2 from my box of sarcastic scents is Divin’ Enfant.

Enfant is French for child, and after one whiff I’m betting Divin’ means divine… because that’s exactly what it is.

Fabulous…. in a delightfully odd way. Crisp and light, with a spicy almost honeyed base and just a hint of baby powder. I don’t know who wrote the description, but I smell neither leather or cold tobacco.

But I understand the angel demon reference. This scent is both sweet and sultry.

I honestly don’t smell the orange or peach, more like a rich creamy vanilla…. but either way, the #2 sample is rich, multi layered, long lasting and getting a definite thumbs up from me.

Uncategorized

Perfume with a sense of humor.

April 21, 2021 Rivergirl 22 Comments

My box of crazy French perfume samples came today.

And the company seemed pretty sure of themselves.

I’m not sure I actually need my perfume to rebel, but whatever.

The first one I tried….

Was definitely…. different. I know people who would like this scent, but it was too heavily spiced and cloying for me.

Medicinal camphor, incense and prunes. What’s not love?

😳

Uncategorized

I had to.

April 16, 2021 Rivergirl 24 Comments

I mean really, how could I not?

I broke down and ordered a sampler pack of perfume from a French company that takes themselves as seriously as I do. In other words, not at all.

They embrace the bad reviews of their products and even use them in their advertising campaigns.

And since I value a sense of humor above all else, I can’t imagine I’ll be disappointed. But don’t for a minute think is a gimmick. They don’t exactly give their stuff away.